Allgemein, F - J, I, Reviews

Review: Ignite Me (Tahereh Mafi)

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Rating: 5 Pfoten

”Words, I think, are such unpredictable creatures.
No gun, no sword, no army or king will ever be more powerful than a sentence. Swords may cut and kill, but words will stab and stay, burying themselves in our bones to become corpses we carry into the future, all the time digging and failing to rip their skeletons from our flesh.”

Do you still remember my review of “Unravel me”?
Yes?!
Okay! Then let me tell you something:

“Ignite me” was so much better than the last book!!!!

I don’t know how Tahereh Mafi did it but she killed me!!!! I died about a thousand deaths while I read this book and I have absolutely no clue how I even survived to read this!!! Gosh, that book left me reeling and laughing and gasping and crying and swooning and drooling and I had absolutely no idea what to do with all those feels!!!
I bit my nails, I was desperate, I was hopeful, I wanted to smash the book against a wall – which would have been pretty bad because I read it on my e-reader and I’m quite certain it wouldn’t have survived this special kind of treatment *lol* – I wanted to shake some of the characters, wanted to yell at them, I wanted to laugh with them, I wanted to punch some sense into their heads. (Yeah, Adam it’s you I’m talking about!!!) And most of all I really, really wanted them to be happy and fine!!!

So yeah, I think you get the idea! 😉
It was an emotional rollercoaster and I actually loved every second of it! *lol*

That said I guess I can finally jump to the actual review! I hope you manage to read until the end. If not: You’ve been brave and I don’t blame you! ;-P

1

„My eyes are filling fast with tears and I blink and blink but the world is a mess and I want to laugh because all I can think is how horrible and beautiful it is, that our eyes blur the truth when we can’t bear to see it.“

The book basically starts where “Unravel me” left off. Juliette has been saved by Warner and was brought back to base while she was unconscious. In the first chapter we learn that Omega Point has been destroyed completely and that Warner had no other choice than to smuggle Juliette into his private quarters. Of course our heroine is not happy about the bad new and wants to find out what truly happened and if anyone is still alive. So yeah our golden boy and our lethal girl decide to take a trip to the place where Omega Point used to be and it’s actually there, where the plot thickens and everything gains momentum! 😉 Since I don’t want to spoil you I decided to leave it at that, I’m pretty certain that most of you have already read the entire trilogy though.
So for everyone who’s already read the books and for everyone who doesn’t want to be spoiled:

The character’s section is going to be full, I repeat, full of spoilers!!! So beware my fellow readers! Ye be warned!!! ;-P *lol*

2

Juliette:

I loved how self-confident and strong Juliette has become. She’s finally capable of forming her own opinions and she doesn’t take – forgive me my crude choice of words – shit anymore! *lol* The old Juliette would have cowered and accepted the way Adam treated her, the new Juliette kicked ass!!! Quite literally as well! XD I was so proud of her! She finally had the courage to stand up for herself and her beliefs and she didn’t only make her own decisions but also made sure to follow through with them! It was amazing to watch her transformation and I was so glad she finally found herself!!! There was only one thing I didn’t like about her and that was how she let Warner suffer! How dare you Juliette! How dare you to break his wonderful and gentle heart!!!! I mean jeez I know you had to think things through, but seriously!!!! It’s WARNER we’re talking about!!!! That awesome hot guy who’s crazy and madly in love with you!!!! XD Open your freakin eyes!!! *lol* Okay, okay enough of the rant, everything is fine! 😉

”Or,” I say to him, “I leave, find your father, kill him, and deal with the consequences on my own.”
Warner fights a smile and fails.
He glances down and laughs just a little before looking me right in the eye. He shakes his head.
“What’s so funny?”
“My dear girl.”
“What?”
“I have been waiting for this moment for a long time now.”

„I can’t be that girl anymore.
For so many years I lived in constant terror of myself. Doubt had married my fear and moved into my mind, where it built castles and ruled kingdoms and reigned over me, bowing my will to its whispers until I was little more than an acquiescing peon, too terrified to disobey, too terrified to disagree.
I had been shackled, a prisoner in my own mind.”

”I remember it so well.” I hesitate. “Dying. It was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. I couldn’t scream because my lungs were torn apart or full of blood. I don’t know. I just had to lie there, trying to breathe, hoping to drop dead as quickly as possible. And the whole time,” I say, “the whole time I kept thinking about how I’d spent my entire life being a coward, and how it got me nowhere. And I knew that if I had the chance to do it all again, I’d do it differently. I promised myself I’d finally stop being afraid.”

”This isn’t about Adam or Warner,” I tell him. “This is about me and what I want. This is about me finally understanding where I want to be in ten years. Because I’m going to be alive, Kenji. I will be alive in ten years, and I’m going to be happy. I’m going to be strong. And I don’t need anyone to tell me that anymore. I am enough, and I always will be.”

Adam:

Well, I think I’ve to take that back. Nothing is fine when it comes to Adam. Adam… that name… I just have to think about him and I become aggressive. Oh man, I seriously have issues with that boy!!! I already wanted to slap some sense into him while I read “Unravel me”, reading about his character in “Ignite me” I was actually tempted to punch him in the face! Gosh!! That stupid, stupid, stubborn, selfish, obnoxious and incorrigible jerk!!! And that’s actually me putting it more than just mildly! I hate him, I loathe him, I want to scratch him with my fingernails! How dare he to be so egoistic and mean!? When I read chapter 27 I was so angry I wanted to slap him in his stupid pretty face!!! Saying that he was happier when he thought Juliette was dead?!!?? I mean seriously!!??? WHAT THE FREAKIN HELL!??!!! Don’t you have any decency?! And then he even has the nerve to throw her out and to keep his relation to Warner a secret? *grrrrrr* I could go on and on about how much I despise him now, but I think I’ll just leave it at that. ADAM is dead to me and the fact he decided to get to know Warner in the end still doesn’t change anything about my opinion! What a stupid fool!!!

”It’s not charity,” I snap. “He cares about me – and I care about him!”
Warner nods, unimpressed. “You should get a dog, love. I hear they share much the same qualities.”

What do you know about being alive?” he demands. “You wouldn’t say a word when I first found you. You were afraid of your own shadow. You were so consumed by your grief and guilt that you’d gone almost completely insane – living so far inside your own head that you had no idea what happened to the world while you were gone.”

You don’t even know what you’re saying,” Kenji tells him. “You’re acting crazy – “
“I was happier,” Adam says, “when I thought she was dead.”
“You don’t mean that. Don’t say things like that, man. Once you say that kind of shit you can’t take it back –“
“Oh, I mean it,” Adam says. “I really, really mean it.” He finally looks at me. Fists clenched. “Thinking you were dead,” he says to me, “was so much better. It hurt so much less than this.”

“And right now, I can’t say I know what Adam would do if I were dying in front of him. I’m not sure if he would save my life. And that uncertainty alone makes me certain that something wasn’t right between us. Something wasn’t real.
Maybe we both fell in love with the illusion of something more.”

Warner:

He’s standing at the front door, hands shoved casually in his pockets, no fewer than six different guns pointed at his face.”

Oh Warner… *sighs dreamily* With every book I read I loved that boy more and more! He still is awesomeness on two legs and if possible he got even more awesome throughout the book. Gosh, how much I love him!!! I’m Warner trash, I want to have his babies, he’s the perfect man and he’s easily become my no.1 book boyfriend. (Well, truth be told Will and he seem to share that place now. *LOL*) We finally saw more of his vulnerable side and I loved E.V.E.R.Y single S.E.C.O.N.D of it!!! I loved how he came to Juliette rescue when Adam and her had that argument back at Adam’s house and I was so heartbroken when he tried to hide his scars in chapter 32. And good god, I swear when I read chapter 50 it broke my heart into tiny little pieces. I was crying so hard I was even forced to take a break. That chapter literally killed me! I was so overwhelmed by my emotions I could barely breathe. My heart ached so much… that poor lost boy, to read that chapter was pure torture and just to remember it is actually enough to cause me to weep again. *sniff* Warner suffered and hurt so much throughout the entire book and all I wanted to do was to cradle him and to take his pain away. No one deserves to be so miserable and alone and I really hated Adam for hiding his and James’s true identity. If I’m entirely honest I also kind of hated Juliette for being so indecisive and when they finally hit it off I was so happy I grinned the entire time. =))))))

I’ve said it before, love, and I’m sorry I have to say it again, but you do not understand the choices I have to make. You don’t know what I’ve seen and what I’m forced to witness every single day.” He hesitates. “And I wouldn’t want you to. But do not presume to understand my actions,” he says, finally meeting my eyes. “Because if you do, I can assure you you’ll only be met with disappointment. And if you insist on continuing to make assumptions about my character, I’ll advise you only this: assume you will always be wrong.”

“He wasn’t trying to patronize me.
He was enjoying himself.
Aaron Warner Anderson, chief commander and regent of Sector 45, son of the supreme commander of The Reestablishment.
He has a soft spot for fashion.”

”I have no one to impress,” he says. “No one who cares about what happens to me. I’m not in the business of making friends, love. My job is to lead an army, and it’s the only thing I’m good at. No one,” he says, “would be proud of the things I’ve accomplished. My mother doesn’t even know me anymore. My father thinks I’m weak and pathetic. My soldiers want me dead. The world is going to hell. And the conversations I have with you are the longest I’ve ever had.”

Warner takes a hard, shaky breath. “Then what did you say to him?”
Seven seconds die between us.
“Nothing,” I whisper.
Warner stills.
I don’t breathe.
No one speaks for what feels like forever.
“Of course,” Warner finally says. He looks pale, unsteady. “You said nothing. Of course.”

”The bed is empty.
Warner has collapsed in the corner.
He’s curled into himself, knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs, his head buried in his arms. And he’s shaking.
Tremors are rocking his entire body.
I’ve never, ever seen him look like a child before. Never, not once, not in all the time I’ve known him. But right now, he looks just like a little boy. Scared. Vulnerable. All alone.”

”It’s the only way I know how to exist,” he says. “In a world where there is so much to grieve and so little good to take? I grieve nothing. I take everything.”
I stare into his eyes for what feels like forever.
He leans into my ear. Lowers his voice. “Ignite, my love. Ignite.”

Kenji:

I think that boy is the most complex side character I ever had the pleasure to come across. *lol* He’s funny and serious at the same time and he cares so deeply for his friends that it’s sometimes even kind of painful to watch. I loved how he cared about Juliette and how he tried his best to support her. It was pretty obvious that he didn’t agree with her opinion about Warner, yet he still accepted her decision and tried everything possible in order to understand her motives. I really wish there would be more Kenji’s out in the world and I truly hope that Kenji finds true love in the next book. Do you hear me, Mafi? I want Kenji to have a girlfriend in “Restore me”!!! He deserves it, he sooo does!!! XD If you haven’t written a girlfriend for him already, you still got plenty of time to change this!!! 😉 So yeah, do it!!!!! Oh and by the way: That’s an order and no request!!! *LOL*

“You’re not bothered by all the heavy breathing going on over here?” He makes a haphazard gesture towards us.
I jump away from Adam reflexively.
“No,” James says, crossing his arms. “Are you?”
“Disgust was my general reaction, yeah.”
“I bet you wouldn’t think it was gross if it was you.”
A long pause.
“You make a good point,” Kenji finally says. “Maybe you should find me a lady in this crappy sector. I’m okay with anyone between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five.” He points at James. “So how about you get on that, thanks.”

“Good for you. I’ll buy you a balloon the minute the world stops shitting on itself.”
“Thank you,” I say, pleased. “You’re a good teacher.”
“I’m good at everything,” he points out.
“Humble, too.”
“And really good looking.”
I choke on a laugh.

“It just gets really heavy sometimes.” He looks away. “Too heavy. Even for me. And some days I don’t want to laugh,” he says. “I don’t want to be funny. I don’t want to give a shit about anything. Some days I just want to sit on my ass and cry. All day long.” His hands stop moving against the mats. “Is that crazy?” he asks quietly, still not meeting my gaze.

”Who’s Bruce Lee?”
“Who’s Bruce Lee?” Kenji asks, horrified. “Oh my God. We can’t even be friends anymore.”
“Why? Was he a friend of yours?”
“You know what,” he says, “just stop. Just – I can’t even talk to you right now.”

James:

Oh that little boy was just so adorable and I had to laugh so hard whenever he spoke with Warner! Those two brothers had such an awesome chemistry and I loved how open and unprejudiced James was! Unlike Adam he actually saw the good in Warner and I just loved him for it! XD

Warner studies Jame’s face with rapt fascination. He bends down on one knee, meets James at eye level. “And who are you?” he asks.
Everyone in the room is silent, watching.

”Why do you call her ‘love’?” James asks. “I’ve heard you say that before, too. A lot. Are you in love with her? I think Adam’s in love with her. Kenji’s not in love with her, though. I already asked him.”
Warner blinks at him.
“Well?” James asks.
“Well what?”
“Are you in love with her?”
“Are you in love with her?”
“What?” James blushes. “No. She’s like a million years older than me.”
“Would anyone like to take over this conversation?” Warner asks, looking around in the group.

”So, wait – then you’re not the bad guy,” James says all of a sudden. “You’re on our side, right?”
Warner turns slowly to meet James’s eyes. Says nothing.
“Well?” James asks, impatient. “Aren’t you on our side?”
Warner blinks. Twice. “So it seems,” he says, looking as though he can hardly believe he’s saying it.

Anderson:

Thank god he was finally shot and didn’t even get a proper chance to say anything! I swear everything that man ever said revolted me immensely and I’m just glad that it’s over and that no word is ever going to escape his lips again. XD

”And shoot him in the forehead.
Twice.
Once for Adam.
Once for Warner.”

So yeah, I loved the entire book and if there is one thing I didn’t like than it’s just the fact that the trilogy is over and that the ending was too fast. I would have liked to see more of the aftermath and I kind of hoped for some sort of epilogue, but considering the fact that Tahereh Mafi is going to write three other books I don’t feel the urge to complain! *lol*

All told, I highly recommend the “Shatter me” trilogy and if you haven’t read it already you definitely should!!!! 😉

And last but not least: This was a buddy read with the awesome Megha and I was sooo damn glad I was able to talk about all those feels!!! Thanks a lot! You rock!!! XD

”You know,” he whispers, his lips at my ear, “the whole world will be coming for us now.”
I lean back. Look into his eyes.
“I can’t wait to watch them try.”

Allgemein, Reviews, U, U - Z

Review: Unravel Me (Tahereh Mafi)

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Rating: 5 Pfoten

I can’t. I just can’t deal with all those feels!!!
I finished reading this book about two days ago, yet my feelings are still too muddled and my mind is spinning and I just can’t seem to be able to think straight. XD

I swear that book killed me and if Mafi’s third book “Ignite Me” is going to be as good as this one – I seriously don’t even dare to think that it might be even better – it actually might be the death of me! *lol*

All I can do is to try to write a halfway coherent review of “Unravel Me” and considering all the feelings and the emotional rollercoaster I went through “to try” actually seems to be the right choice of words.

I loved that book! I loved it so much I decided to buy the entire “Shatter Me” series in paperback just so I can mark all my favourite moments!! *lol* Okay admittedly most of them will be Warner moments but then again that boy is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.N.E.S.S on two legs! No doubt, you know exactly what I mean! *wriggles eyebrows*

Anyway you wanted a review and I promise I’ll try my very best to give it to you! So yeah, we better get this started right?

1

The storyline begins with Juliette’s life at Omega Point and her constant struggle to become a part of the community. Knowing our young heroine it’s not all too hard to guess that she’s doing a rather awful job at adapting to her new circumstances and even though Adam tries his best to keep her grounded things unfortunately aren’t as easy as they seem to be. If I would have to sum it up I’d say that plot-wise there actually doesn’t happen a lot. Mostly because the rebels are just hiding at Omega Point and try to prepare for war. Considering the love story, there happens so much that you barely get a chance to breathe though. So yeah if you’re a sucker for love stories this book will tear you apart and scatter your remains in all four cardinal directions. If you’re not into YA love stories, teen angst and heart palpitations I’d not only advise you to give this book a wide berth but also would suggest to read another book of your – no doubt long – “to be read” list! ;-P

2

WARNING will contain spoilers and many quotes! XD

Juliette:

I loved how much she has grown in this book. At the beginning of “Shatter me” she was so insecure and frail, already scratching her sentences before she even got a proper chance to think them to an end. Now she has so many different thoughts that she can barely contain them, constantly thinking about everything that’s happening, second-guessing her own decisions, second-guessing other people’s decisions, second-guessing her relationships with Adam and Warner. It was refreshing to see that she’s finally beginning to think about the things she wants and that she actually realised that not everything is black and white. Especially not Warner! *lol* 😉

“I took what I wanted. I knew better and I took it anyway. Adam couldn’t have known, he could never have known what it would be like to really suffer at my hands. He was innocent of the depth of it, of the cruel reality of it. He’d only felt bursts of my power, according to Castle. He’d only felt small stabs of it and was able and aware enough to let go without feeling the full effects.
But I knew better.
I knew what I was capable of.”

“I think about glasses half full and glasses to see the world clearly. I think about sacrifice. And compromise. I think about what will happen if no one fights back. I think about a world where no one stands up to injustice.
And I wonder if maybe everyone here is right.
If maybe it’s time to fight.”

“Maybe it’s because he’s broken and I’m foolish enough to think I can fix him. Maybe it’s because I see myself, I see 3, 4, 5, 6, 17-year-old Juliette abandoned, neglected, mistreated, abused for something out-side of her control and I think of Warner as someone who’s just like me, someone who was never given a chance in life.”

“All I know is that it’ll never be safe for me to rely on someone else again, to need constant reassurance of who I am and who I might someday be. I can love him, but I can’t depend on him to be my backbone. I can’t be my own person if I constantly require someone else to hold me together.”

Adam:

Meh, I don’t know! While I really liked him in the first book and even kind of shipped him with Juliette, my sympathy for him now seems to have vanished. I understand that he hates Warner and that he desperately wants to be with Juliette. His actions and the way he deals with things definitely don’t get my approval though. I mean he could have easily saved them a lot of heartbreak if he just would have been honest to his girl and he’s so blinded by his love for Juliette and his hatred for Warner that he doesn’t even try to understand their point of view. I’m not saying that he should be all like “we’re one big happy family” but I really would have wished that he would have paused for a moment and would have used his brain! *lol* There are damn good reasons why Juliette decided to steer clear of him and I’m sure that if he would have given her some space and time, she probably might have even reconsidered her decision. I mean it’s obvious she loves him but with his actions he’s just pushing her away.

“How is it possible,” he says, “that I’m this close to you and it’s killing me that you’re still so far away?”

“Because it takes a lot more than blood to be family,” he says. “And I want nothing to do with him. I’d like to be able to watch him die and feel no sympathy, no remorse. He’s the textbook definition of a monster,” Adam says to me. “Just like my dad. And I’ll drop dead before I recognize him as my brother.”

Warner:

“He’s a vision of emerald and onyx, silhouetted in the sunlight in the most deceiving way. He could be glowing. That could be a halo around his head. This could be the world’s way of making an example out of irony. Because Warner is beautiful in ways even Adam isn’t.”

All good things come in threes, right? XD I already said it and I say it again: Warner is just amazing! I still love this boy and he’s easily become one of my all-time favourite book boyfriends!!! I probably could gush forever and still wouldn’t be able to put everything into words so I’ll just try my best to form coherent sentences that might be interrupted by high-pitched girl squees! *LOL* Just to let you know and warn you in advance! ;-P
Okay, here we go! Warner is probably one of the most complex characters I ever had the pleasure to encounter and believe me I read so many YA books that this actually means something!!! XD Over the course of the book he’s actually a prisoner at Omega Point, but since Juliette and Warner seem to have a “special connection” Castle just decided to assign her to interrogate him. There were so many scenes I loved and even though I can’t seem to be able to choose, Chapter 45 and Chapter 62 literally, I mean LITERALLY caused me to whimper!!! I had to read those two chapters twice because I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t even… Jeez I still can’t process it!!!

“ I told you I hated you.”
“Yes,” he says. He nods. “Well You’d be surprised how many people say that to me.”
“I don’t think I would.”
His lips twitch. “You tried to kill me.”
“That amuses you.”
“Oh, yes,” he says, his grin growing. “I find it fascinating.” A pause. “Would you like to know why?”
I stare at him.
“Because all you ever said to me,” he explains, “ was that you didn’t want to hurt anyone. You didn’t want to murder people.”
“I don’t.”
“Except for me?”
I’m all out of letters. Fresh out of words. Someone has robbed me of my entire vocabulary.
“That decision was so easy for you to make,” he says. “So simple. You had a gun. You wanted to run away. You pulled the trigger. That was it.”

In case you wondered why this is a spoiler! Because for me it’s exactly the moment in which everything changes! 😉

I love everything about Warner, his honesty, his sweet words, his gentleness when he’s with Juliette, his anger and defiance when he’s around all the others, his broken heart, his fear, his insecurity, his self-confidence, his insolence, his intensity, his cheekiness, how he was able to quote Juliette’s journal, his protectiveness, his bravery his tattoos!!! (OH MY GOD HIS TATTOOS), his thoughts, his mind, his cleverness, his laughter…. See what I’m talking about?! XD

“Finding this,” he says, his voice soft as he pats the cover of my notebook, “was so” – his eyebrows pull together – “it was so extraordinarily painful.”

Let’s just say it and be done with it: I am Aaron Warner trash through and through and if Juliette doesn’t take him I’ll have absolutely no qualms to snatch him away from her! *LOL*

“He stands there, bearing the pain, blinking fast, jaw so tight, staring at his father with absolutely no emotion on his face; there’s no indication he’s just been slapped but the bright red mark across his cheek, his temple, and part of his forehead. But his arm sling is more blood than cotton now, and he looks far too ill to be on his feet.
Still he says nothing.”

“Do you know,” he says, closing the cover of the journal only to lay his hand on top of it. Protecting it. Staring at it. “I couldn’t sleep for days after I read that entry. I kept wanting to know which people were chasing you down the street, who it was you were running from. I wanted to find them,” he says, so softly, “and I wanted to rip their limbs off, one by one. I wanted to murder them in ways that would horrify you to hear.”

“I want to be the friend you fall hopelessly in love with. The one you take into your arms and into your bed and into the private world you keep trapped in your head. I want to be that kind of friend,” he says. “The one who will memorize the things you say as well as the shape of your lips when you say them. I want to know every curve, every freckle, every shiver of your body, Juliette – “

“Please.”
He says “Please don’t shoot me for this.”
And he kisses me.

“ The truth,” he says, “is a painful reminder of why I prefer to live among the lies.”

Kenji:

I really like that he’s kind of become Juliette’s best friend and as a side character that boy really never fails to lighten up the mood. He’s funny and hilarious but at least after chapter 10 we realise that he can be more than just intense as well. XD That boy knows exactly what he’s doing and his mind definitely is at least as sharp as Warner’s. ;-P

“I shake my head, try to bite back my amusement. Kenji is a walking paradox of Unflinchingly Serious Person and 12-Year-Old Boy Going Through Puberty all rolled into one.”

I turn to face him. “Listen, I’m grateful you’re going to help me train now – really I am. Thank you for that. But you can’t go around proclaiming your fake love for me – especially not in front of Adam – and you have to let me cross this room before the breakfast hour is over, okay? I hardly ever get to see him.”
Kenji nods very slowly, looks a little solemn. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I get it.”
“Thank you.”
“Adam is jealous of our love.”

“Yeah, bro.” Kenji puts his utensils down. “You are moody. It’s always ‘Shut up, Kenji.’ ‘Go to sleep, Kenji.’ No one wants to see you naked, Kenji.” When I know for a fact that there are thousands of people who would love to see me naked – “

Anderson:

I hate him!!! I loathe him and I really wish that someone would finally put a stop to his cruel games! That man is just despicable and neither Adam, nor Warner nor James deserve a father like that!!!! I really hope the Reestablishment and Anderson fall together and that said I just can’t wait to read the next book! ;-P

“But then,” he says, laughing a little, “just as I began drafting my plans, my son came to me and begged me not to kill you. Just you.” He stops. Looks up. “He actually begged me not to kill you.” Laughs again. “It was just as pathetic as it was surprising.”

“Anderson’s gun is no longer pointed at me. He forgets me long enough to press the barrel of his gun into Warner’s forehead, twisting it, jabbing it against his skin as he speaks.”

Oh well, as it seems my review finally has come to an end! *lol*

For everyone that actually managed to read until now:
Thank you! I really hope you enjoyed my review and I’d be glad if you’d stay tuned for my thoughts about “Ignite me”. ;-P

And before I forget: This was a buddy read with Megha!!!
We’re going to rock „Ignite me“ as well! 😉

Allgemein, P - T, Reviews, S

Review: Shatter Me (Tahereh Mafi)

13455782

Rating: 4 Pfoten

I seriously don’t know why it took me so long to dig my claws into this book, but I definitely know that I don’t regret doing it! 😉

“Shatter Me” was an awesome read and I enjoyed it immensely! There were so many things I loved about this book and whilst it is true that many people complained about the writing style, I have to admit that I actually loved it.

“Hope is hugging me, holding me in its arms, wiping away my tears and telling me that today and tomorrow and two days from now I will be just fine and I’m so delirious I actually dare to believe it.”

I think it was something new and extraordinary and I loved the way Juliette described her world. The repetitions, her thoughts, the things she thought and even the truths she vehemently refused to admit. It all gave me a very good picture of her character and her mind, the many things she must have gone through shaping her into a person that distrusts everyone and desperately tries not to feel anything. XD Of course she’s failing but this actually only made her even more likeable. *lol*

See where I’m getting at? Tahereh Mafi knows exactly what she’s doing and she really managed to drag me into her world. Yes, I confess! I’m officially hooked now and I’m soo going to read all of the other books! ;-P
So be prepared to read many reviews! *LOL*

Okay, enough of the threats and right back to the characters! Oh, the characters! There’s so much to tell! XD

FAIR WARNING: Mild spoilers lying ahead of you! 😉

2

Juliette:

At the beginning of the book you don’t even know her name. Everything you know is that she’s been imprisoned for ages and that she’s more than just a little insecure. Considering her ability this is no surprise though, the fact she can hurt and even kill people with just the touch of her fingertips making it kind of hard to be all too sociable. Juliette may not talk a lot but she sees everything and she’s more than just observant. She obviously also seems to have a knack for poetry and I really enjoyed the way she used her words.

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.”

Adam:

That boy is hot as hell and Juliette’s new cell mate! Could a girl ask for more? Dark hair, blue eyes, awesome and muscular body! *drools* Okay, okay! I’m back on track! *lol* Yeah, as you can see Adam is just awesome boyfriend material and it’s no wonder that they kind of hit it off! He’s caring and gentle and he always tries to understand Juliette’s thoughts. I liked him from the beginning and I’m really curious to find out how things are going to proceed in the next books. =)

Sidenote: Is it just me or does he never tell Juliette that he loves her? O_o I thought this was kind of odd. Juliette told him she loved him but as far as I could read he never returned it…. Did I miss anything? xD

God, Juliette, I’d follow you anywhere. You’re the only good thing left in this world.”

Warner:

Oh my god! Warner! Gosh! Warner! Argh! Warner! *babbling mess* That boy, that boy gave me all the feels! Good and bad! Happy and angry! Disgusted and longing for more! *lol* I wanted him to touch Juliette and I wanted her to touch him! I just couldn’t decide if I wanted it because I wanted him to hurt or because I wanted them to make out! *LOL* What is it with me and the villains? Why do I love them so much!? XD First Maven and now Warner, I think I’m going to die! >_< Oh, well I think I’m supposed to say something about his character as well so here I go: He’s ruthless when he is with his soldiers but he is gentle whenever he is with Juliette. He seems to care about her a LOT and he even admitted that he loved her! But why does he hurt her so much? Warner is a big question mark and some sort of mystery I’m determined to solve. So yesh, I’m so going to read “Destroy me” after I wrote this review! XD

His smile is laced with dynamite. „Go to sleep.“
„Go to hell.“
He works his jaw. Walks to the door. „I’m working on it.”

„I’m nineteen years old.“ He clarifies. „I’m a fairly impressive specimen for my age, I know.“

Kenji:

I loved Kenji! That boy is so funny and I really enjoyed his sassy demeanour. He’s constantly hitting on Juliette and his character gives the book a hilarious edge. I want more of him and actually can’t wait to meet him again! =)

His grin is crooked. „I don’t know why, but I kind of like it when you threaten me.“
„That’s because you’re an idiot.“
„Nah.“ He shakes his head. „You’ve got a sexy voice makes everything sound naughty.“

So, if you haven’t already figured it out:
YES I liked “Shatter me” and I can easily recommend it to anyone who’s looking for a nice and short-lived page turner! =)

Enjoy! ;-P

Allgemein, F - J, I, Reviews

Review: Imagine Me (Tahereh Mafi)

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Rating: 2 Pfoten, 5

 
Book 28 on My Book List 2020
 
 

„What happened to you, man?“ I whisper. „Where’d you go?“
„Hell,“ he says. „I’ve finally found hell.“

Me too, Ladies and Gentlemen, me too! >_<

Hell was reading this book and you better get yourself some chocolate before you continue to read because I’m so bitter that I could be mistaken for a lemon. I’m not just bitter though, I’m salty as well. So buckle up this is going to be a spicy ride. (Okay, I’m done with the food hints now. *lol* You get the idea! ;-P)

This book was just … URGH!!

I’m so disappointed right now I’ve been fighting to find the proper words for at least two weeks. And I just realized that I’ll probably never find them. >_< I think the most important thing you have to know is that I loved the original trilogy! It was so good and I’m such a huge Tahereh Mafi fan! Moreover I actually enjoyed books 4 and 5! They were different but they were still good! So what went wrong? A LOT!!!  Or basically everything!

Seriously, if it wouldn’t have been for my beloved Jello who had the questionable pleasure to experience my disappointment first hand I most certainly would have never made it through this book! So a huge shout-out to Jello for surviving this buddy read with me! *lol* You’re the best, girl! And I swear I would have never made it through this book without your support! <333 So thank you so much for keeping me company on this hard ride. XD It was tough for both of us but we got through it somehow! *sighs* This said let’s get to the root of the problem:

”My questions are endless.
I kill them.”

Oh, how I wish I would have had the same luxury!!!

Unlike Juliette I couldn’t just kill my questions though and instead of getting answers all I got was a headache and even more questions than before. There happened so many things that left question marks above my head and NONE, really NONE were answered! You’d think an author who writes the last book in a series that consists of 6!!! (SIX!!!) books in total would try to wrap it up all nicely in the end? Nope! Nah, Nuh-uh. Nopedy nope! I didn’t get my awesome ending wrapped up in a lovely bow and I’m so bitter about it! So, so bitter! And this comes from a fan that loved and read all the former books, mind you! I’m not writing this rant because I dislike Tahereh’s books or because I want to make her feel bad, I’m writing this rant because I LOVE Tahereh and her writing style and I can’t believe that she would write such an ending!!! I just can’t wrap my head around it!

„It is only in the desperate seconds before death that we realize the windows against which we broke our bodies were only mirrors, all along.”

What went wrong Tahereh? Why give us such a sloppy ending even though we know you are a magnificent writer?!  Where did your amazing and beautiful writing style go? I missed it during the entire book. The fact that I only wrote down 4 quotes from a book that consists of 450 pages should already tell us enough! After reading all the other books I couldn’t even pack all those lovely and beautiful quotes into my reviews. I had no problem this time around. In fact I had to go looking for those 4 quotes so that I actually COULD put something into this review. *shakes head*

Still, the writing style wasn’t the only thing that made me sad. I also missed the amazingness of my beloved characters. They used to be complex, they had character arcs and they developed. They grew and changed over time. In this book it was like they all went back to their starting point and couldn’t be more than stereotypes. Which is such a shame! And don’t even get me started on Juliette/Ella!

spoilerWTH, Tahereh?!!! I hated Robo-J so much and whenever I read “Yes, sir!” I felt like I wanted to puke!! What was the point in making her bland like that? That entire thing with Anderson and his sadistic streak, the fact that Juliette was attracted to HIM??!! WHAT DID I EVEN READ HERE?? At times it felt like I jumped right into a twisted and revolting version of “50 Shades of Grey” and the obedient/dull soldier looking up to her dominant master theme was THE WORST and so didn’t work for me!!!

Another thing that riled me big time was that the main topic of those last 3 books was Emmaline and then we barely get anything about her. The first 10% of the book and then… nothing! Like she wasn’t important enough to keep the plot moving. Instead we get… moments that made me want to tear my hair out! >_< And to add insult to injury we get an epilogue that was so unsatisfying that I sat there crying into the book! Not because it was so good, but because it made my heart bleed all over the pages by not being what I wanted it to be. T_T

This book should have been named “Torture Me” instead of “Imagine Me” but if I have to go with the theme, I’ll do it my way (and this is where it gets salty, my friends):

“Imagine Me” borrowing Winston’s whiskey flask and taking a big swig in order to get through this book. *lol* Thank you, Winston! ;-P

“Imagine Me” throwing this book against a wall.

“Imagine Me” setting it on fire and then chucking it out of the window.

And “Imagine Me” letting it being run over by a car only to get drenched in rain! All for good measure, of course! 😉

“Imagine Me” hoping for a great ending and getting THIS and…

spoilerA DOG!!! Not even a wedding but a freaking dog??! I understand why Tahereh wrote that scene but I really would have rather wanted to read their wedding scene! Damn it!

“Imagine Me” and my face falling when I realized this was neither about Emmaline nor about my OTP.

spoilerI mean Juliette and Warner’s relationship was basically non-existent! They spent about 90% of this book apart and then he KISSES her back into her mind??!! Like seriously? Are you kidding me? Juliette doesn’t even recognize, let alone remember Warner but she makes out with him? How could Tahereh reduce their beautiful and deep relationship to nothing but physical attraction? There was so much more than that between them and it was the physical aspect she latched on to?!! WE (the fans) and Warner & Juliette deserved so much better than that!!!

“Imagine Me” being one of Tahereh’s biggest fans but being so damn salty I could turn a lake into the sea. If you ever come across an Austrian lake that’s as salty as the Black Sea: I’m sorry, that was me! XD

“Imagine Me” getting whiplash from shaking my head too much! My neck hurts, no kidding!

“Imagine Me” losing my appetite every single time Juliette said “Yes, sir!” (I need to eat lots of Christmas cookies to compensate for that!!)

“Imagine Me” wanting to erase the memory of this book with bleach! Yes, I’m that desperate! Come to think of it Evie and Max would come in pretty handy right now. XD

“Imagine Me” collapsing under the weight of all those question marks, because let’s face it: This book was all over the place! I feel like Atlas and it’s no fun!

And last but not least: “Imagine Me” renaming this book “Torture Me”!

The only good thing about “Torture Me” was Warner’s and Kenji’s bromance! Well, and this quote:

„To the world, she is formidable.
To me?
She is the world.“

That’s it! My fan heart is so broken right now, I want to “imagine” a world with a better ending than this! T_T

Okay, I’m done with the puns and I’ve vomited all my bitterness into this review. I’m sorry to say it but I can’t give this more than 2,5 paws. 2,5 paws because otherwise it would feel like I’d let Tahereh get away with this disaster of a book and someone has to speak the truth. As a huge fan of this series my heart is bleeding but I stand by my opinion! #SorryNotSorry

Let’s hope Mafi’s next book will be better again!

Allgemein, Bookish Fox Knowledge

September Wrap-Up & My 2nd Bloggiversary!

Wrap Up

What to say about September? Well, I’m kind of glad it’s over?! I think I might be repeating myself here but 2020 is the worst year ever and there are still 3 months left. Or only three months left? Let’s try to stay positive and say „only“. Yep, I think I can live with that. Anyway I’m kind of starting to feel like FitzChivalry or Rowan Damisch and the only thing that’s helping me right now is that they never gave up and sort of prevailed in the end. Sort of… let’s not think all too hard about that, okay? ;-P

So what else is new? My first month of working a couple of hours more was pretty okay I guess. I mean I noticed that I have less time for the nice things in life, but I can deal with it somehow. Or rather I can deal with it because by now there’s coffee running through my veins instead of blood? *lol* I think I’m not even kidding. ;-P I mean I’m either typing my reviews and blog posts at night (like this one at 23:00 p.m) or early in the morning. (at around 5:00 a.m) So if you do your maths you know when I sleep. (*pssst* The answer almost never. *lol*) I suppose insomnia does have its advantages after all. XD

But it wasn’t all rain this month though! There was some good news too! Both of my Give-Aways arrived savely at their destinations and as far as I could tell the winners were happy to get them! =) So there’s that! Plus: I had my second bloggiversary on September 28th and I can’t believe how far I’ve come in those last two years! ❤ It’s amazing and I really hope I’ll celebrate even more bloggiversaries with you! =)) And on this positive note I’ll just stop here and go right to my montly Wrap Up! 

Books read:(6 books &webcomic, I know 6 books is still a lot but September definitely wasn’t my best month this year)

Pages read:  2.298 (3 of those 6 books were actually pretty long! *lol*)

Average rating: 4,17 (One 5 stars book and it was amazing!! ❤ The rest wasn’t bad either as well. XD)

Books that were on my reading list:  1 (from 2019 and 0 from 2020. <_< I think I’ll just ignore this section. Just kidding. I’m currently reading at least 3 books that are on my 2020 list, but they are HUGE and I started too late!)

September Reads:

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A Charm of Finches: 5 Pfoten
 
I LOVED this book so much I couldn’t even put it into words. Of course I tried, but I think I failed miserably. XD Guess as long as Suanne doesn’t hold it against me that’s okay for me though. But seriously, if you haven’t discovered Suanne’s books already, you definitely should make sure to take a closer look! They are awesome, they are beautiful, her stories are unique and taken from life and there are so many thoughts that go into them that it’s just overwhelming! ❤ If you actually want to read my attempt at a proper review you can do it here!
Defy Me: 4 Pfoten
 
I don’t know if I like that series or if I don’t. I mean I loved the original trilogy! It will always hold a special place in my heart, but those last two books including „Defy Me“. I just don’t know. I think the series steered off course and right now nothing makes sense anymore. The characters are reacting to crazy happenings but that’s about all they do. I mean I love every second I’m able to spend with my favourite characters, yet at the same time I can’t help but wonder where this is heading. If you want to hear all of my confused thoughts you can read my full review here!
 
 
It’s been a while I read a fantasy book with so many different nations and creatures but it was a lot of fun to dive back into the fantasy fold. *lol* This was a review copy I got from the author in exchange for an honest review and it was a really great one indeed! I thought it would be more on the funny side and even though some parts of it were a lot of fun to read, it still tackled surprisingly serious topics. So this was totally unexpected and I kind of found myself paging through it. XD 
Catwoman: 4 Pfoten
 
We all know Maas can write! What I didn’t know up until I read this book was the fact that she can actually write convincing lesbian characters. I went into this expecting the typical Maas brand but what I got was so much more and this made me really happy! We have a lesbian MC, a bi MC, a super slow burn that doesn’t end in mind-blowing intimacy and I was like: OMG is this actually a Maas book?! „Catwoman“ was a real surprise and I hope Maas will continue to write books like this one! So damn good! =))
 
The Toll: 4 Pfoten
 
Neal Shusterman did something not many authors manage to do: He wrote a great ending to an amazing series! Sure, there were some things I didn’t like, but in general I’ve to say that he wrapped it up nicely with a bow. XD And even after two books he introduced us to new characters that were awesome and turned my world upside down! ❤ All I’ll say is Jerico Soberanis! She/he owns my heart!! As does Greyson! And Rowan and Citra and so many others. *lol* You get the idea. ;-P Legit one of the best series I ever read. 
 
 
I love Kenji’s POV and this short novella was once again such a pleasure to read. =) Plus I loved all the things that were confronted in this. Kenji isn’t just a funny character, he’s also a deep character with a lot of thoughts and feelings and an intelligent mind to sort through everything that happens. I can’t wait to see more of his POV in „Imagine Me“ and I really hope that things will make more sense in this last book! XD Please Tahereh turn this thing around! 

Rankenzeile

So how was your September? Are you ready to finish the chapter of 2020, too? Did you read a lot of books and are you looking forward to spooky October? Do you have any book recommendations for scaredy cats foxes like me? When do you usually write your blog posts and did you already celebrate your second bloggiversary?! And if yes: How? XD

Talk to me and let me know! 😉

*hugs’n’kisses*

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The Sassy Library Fox

A - E, Allgemein, D, Reviews

Review: Defy Me (Tahereh Mafi)

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Rating: 4 Pfoten

“Whatever, bro. No judgment. The world’s on fire. Have some fun.”

I think that sentence indicates the overall mood of this book, because wow, the world truly is on fire. *lol* Joking aside I’ve to admit that my feelings about “Defy Me” are pretty mixed. On the one hand this was totally not what I expected it to be, but on the other hand it was still good somehow?! I don’t know how to explain this but I was kind of disappointed by how it all turned out, yet at the same time I was going with the flow and enjoyed many scenes and parts of the book.

“Shatter Me” is one of the first series I binged and loved and there’s always this sort of nostalgia when I read another of Mafi’s books. I just love Warner, I adore Kenji and I like Juliette (or Ella) and therefore I’ll always be happy to read more about them. The longer this series continues the more it gets unrealistic and crazy though. And this is me, one of the series biggest fans, speaking their mind. So while I’m all like: Gimmi more!!! I also feel like this series has been going on for too long and that it probably would have been best to stop after book 3. Urgh! I hate myself for even thinking this, but it is the way it is and you all know you’ll always get unapologetic honesty from me. 😉

So did I enjoy “Defy Me”?  Yes and no! Yes, because as I already said I got a lot of my favourite characters and no, because the plot kind of lacked depth? I mean sure, there were quite a lot of revelations but when it comes to the pace it was really slow and there actually didn’t happen a lot. So whilst I enjoy character driven books I still would have liked for the plot to have a little bit more substance. Urgh, look at me trying to find the right words. *lol* Anyway, I still enjoyed it and even though I’m worried about the last book I’ll still read it, because I really hope that Mafi will be able to tie everything up with a nice bow. XD

This said, let’s talk about the characters! And believe me, there’s a lot to talk about! ;-P

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And here comes another warning: My characters section is full of spoilers and to read through it might kill some of your enjoyment when you actually read the book. This said: Pirates ye be warned! ;-P Proceed at your own risk!

Ella (aka Juliette):

”I had no idea how much we’d lost, no idea how much of him I’d longed for. I had no idea how desperately we’d been fighting. How many years we’d fought for moments – minutes – to be together.”

Now the Juliette – or Ella – in this book was exactly my kind of girl! After reading “Restore Me” I wasn’t happy with the direction in which her character developed, but I’ve to say that I really like that new Ella. XD Maybe it were all those memories that made her stronger or the fact that her biological parents are horrible. No matter what it was, it was really good to see her take control of her life again! That’s what I missed in the other book! Our strong and independent girl that makes decisions and acts on them, throwing all caution into the wind! *lol* Okay, she didn’t throw ALL caution into the wind but she certainly acted more like herself in this one. Then again I suppose to have your memories constantly erased and to be filled with new and torturous memories whenever you’re set back will take a toll on anyone. I mean WTF?! I hate her parents for what they did to her, Emmaline and Warner. And I’m really glad Ella ended Evie. Or did she? Maybe she can heal herself too?! I guess we’ll find out in the last book. For now all I say is: Welcome back, Ella! It’s a pleasure to see you again! 😉

”Aaron?” I say again, this time softly. “Are you all right?”
He blinks, startled. “Yes,” he says, drawing in a sharp breath. “Yes. Yes, I’m perfect.”
I manage a small smile. “I’m glad you finally agree with me.”
He frowns, confused, and then, as realization hits – He blushes.

Warner:

”A profound, painful ache has rooted inside of me, carrying with it the weight of years. Being apart from Juliette –Ella – has always been hard, but now it seems unsurvivable.
I’m being slowly decimated by emotion.”

My sweet, sweet boy and awesomeness on two legs!!! Ahhh he already suffered so much and once again my heart broke for him! ❤ I hate and despise his father so damn much! If he’d spent eternity in hell it still wouldn’t be enough! Still, can I say that I FREAKING LOVED Warner in here?!! I saw so many new sides of his character and I adore them all!!! XD I mean he’s still a tortured soul but behind that perfect and ruined facade of his, he’s actually a funny, strong and sassy boy! I mean Warner getting annoyed because his attempt to kill his father was thwarted was priceless!!! An insult to his skill set!? *LOL* Also: Four books in this series!!! FOUR FREAKING BOOKS and I can’t remember ever hearing Warner curse! Haha! And so typical for him he even bothers to explain it with his special brand of sophisticated dignity and poise! *LOL* So yes, my boy might be tortured and broken but he’s mending and I absolutely love the person he’s becoming. I really thought I couldn’t love him any more than I already do but as it seems Mafi is proving me wrong. ❤ I loved the ending so much because Warner was so happy, which is the reason I’m so damn afraid of the next book. I’m sure it will all go to hell and I just can’t take it. >_< Let Warner be happy, please?!

”Enjoy hell,” I whisper, before walking away.

”Shit.”
“Did you just swear?” Nazeera says, stunned.
“I’m in an extraordinary amount of pain.”
“All right, that’s it, we’re out of time.”

“I can’t remember a single time in my life when someone apologized to me for hurting my feelings. No one has ever cared about my feelings long enough to apologize for hurting them. In my experience, I’m usually the monster. I’m the one expected to make amends.”

“No one warned me about the nightmares, the panic attacks, or the dark destructive thoughts that would follow. No one explained to me how darkness works, how it feasts on itself or how it festers. I hardly recognize myself these days. Becoming an instrument of torture destroyed what was left of my mind.“

Kenji:

”I turn, stare at the wall. I can’t be distracted by her anymore. She knows I’m into her – my infatuation is apparently obvious to everyone within a ten-mile radius, according to Castle – and she’s clearly been using my idiocy to her best advantage.
Smart. I respect the tactic.”

I know a lot of people think that Kenji turned into a completely different person because he’s become more serious and has a lot of depressing thoughts, but what those people don’t keep in mind is that this is only due to the fact that we never got his POV. We only saw Kenji from the outside and the way the characters around him perceive him. Yes, on the outside he’s all smiles and fun but on the inside he’s a very deep character and feels so many different emotions that it’s really painful to see them revealed. In short: He’s human! You can’t always be happy and the part he’s showing the people around him is not how he feels inside. I mean I’m pretty sure about 90% of my friends on here would say I’m a funny and cheerful person, but that doesn’t mean that I’m always like that. I do have my dark days too and it’s the same with Kenji. So yes, he’s different but only because we finally get to see his private feelings, thoughts and fears. 😉 I still love Kenji and I think I love him even more now because I can understand him better. XD

”But right now I’m out of gas. I’m out of James’s jokes. I’m fresh out of fake smiles. Right now I’m nothing but pain and exhaustion and raw emotion, and I don’t have the bandwidth for another serious conversation. I really don’t want to do this right now.”

“Today has been a shitstorm of shit. A tornado of shit. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know whether to sit down and cry or set something on fire.“

Nazeera:

”None of us got to choose this life. None of us enjoyed being taught to torture before we could even drive. And it’s not insane to imagine that sometimes even horrible people are searching for a way out of their own darkness.”

Nazeera is still some sort of wildcard for me. Yes, we got a little bit more info about her motivations and affiliation but the overall picture of her character is still very blurry. I don’t know why she’s helping them and I want a better reason than the one we were given. Am I really supposed to believe that she only helps them because she sees the errors of the supreme commander’s ways? True, they did a lot of bad things, mostly to Emmaline, Ella and Warner, and okay, she apparently was Emmaline’s best friend, but there’s got to be more to her story! Something must have happened that caused her to join Castle’s camp and I really want to know what! I really hope there’ll be an answer in the last book!

Evie & Max:

”Perhaps it’s impossible for you to understand how I’m feeling right now. Perhaps you don’t care to know the depth of my disappointments. But you and Emmaline are my life’s work.”

I think Evie and Max should go and … you know what I’m about to say, right?! *lol* But seriously, those two are such horrible human beings that I’m actually starting to doubt if they are even human. I mean WTF??!! How could they do that to their own daughters?! I hate them so much and I just want them to burn in hell! Poor Emmaline! The way she lives now… it’s no life at all. It’s torture and Evie and Max are to blame! I really hope Evie is truly dead now but after Anderson came back again I kind of doubt that we really saw the last of her. For Emmaline’s sake I hope that she is but I’m sure Mafi still has something in store for us. >_<

Max smiles wider. “Quite a live, yes. Despite your best efforts to murder him.”
“That seems impossible”
“You sound irritated,” Max says.
“I am irritated. That he survived is an insult to my skill set.”

3

Ella & Warner:

I have to step away from her. “I don’t – “I look at her again. “Are you sure I don’t know you?”
And she smiles. Smiles at me and my heart shatters.
“Trust me,” she says. “I’d remember you.”

YESH!!! MY OTP IS BACK IN THE GAME!!!!! <333 GJAHAHHAHAHAHAH! I’m so happy they are together again and managed to talk it out! I mean they sort of didn’t have to talk it out all too much because Ella’s memories put everything into perspective but they still spoke about their breakup which is good! XD I loved the quote above because it connects us right with the first book and this was done really masterfully! 😉 If there is one thing I didn’t like about “Defy Me”, then it was the fact that it took them so damn long to get together again! I mean they basically only reunite at the end of the book and I really would have liked to have more quiet and tender Ella and Warner moments. There can never be enough happy moments for them. XD Also the plot existed only of them finding together and a few revelations which was kind of minimalistic, but then again I got the impression that this was what you’d call “a filler book” before the finale begins so I suppose now that all the chess figures are in place we’ll get quite the action in the last book. Or at least I hope we do. ;-P Anyway, I kinda dig the idea of them marrying even though I think they are too young. After everything they’ve been through it’s no surprise though. Mhmmm let’s see what Mafi will do with this plot device in “Imagine Me”. *lol*

”Her face is pressed against my neck. She’s clinging to me like she might never let go and it does something to me, something heady, to know that she could possibly want me – or need me – like this. It makes me want to protect her even if she doesn’t need protecting. It makes me want to carry her away. Lose track of time.”

”Sweetheart, I really need to know if this means yes or no –“
“Yes,” I cry, slightly hysterical. “Yes. Yes to everything with you. Yes to forever with you. Yes.”

There’s tragedy and beauty in his eyes: something stoic that refuses to be moved, and something childlike that can’t help but feel joy. He looks, in short, like he’s in pain.
“Aaron,” I whisper. “Is this okay?”
He takes a few seconds to respond, but when he finally does, he nods. Just once – but it’s enough.
“Yes,” he says softly. “This is okay.”

Ella & Kenji:

”Can we cry about it later? I’ll tell you everything.”
“Hell yeah we can cry about it later.” Kenji tugs gently on my hand to get us moving again. “I have so much shit to cry about, J. So much. We should make, like, a list.”

Aww their friendship is still everything! <333 I love how open and honest they are with each other. They don’t beat about the bush but address things directly and even though we didn’t get a lot of their friendship in this one it’s still amazing. I hope to see more of their interactions in the next instalment and I swear Kenji definitely needs Ella’s advice! *lol* How else is he supposed to handle Nazeera! That boy is totally out of his depth! Haha! Also Kenji admitting that Ella’s situation is breaking his heart. Ahhhh!! He cares about her so much that it hurts him to see her sad and in pain. That’s #friendshipgoals right there! <333

”And now he’s gone. Warner is gone. Everyone from Omega Point might be dead. Everything we built… everything we worked toward – “I feel myself break, snap open form the inside. “I can’t lose him, Kenji.” My voice is shaking. My hands are shaking. “I can’t – You don’t know – You don’t –“
Kenji looks at me with actual pain in his eyes. “Stop it, J. You’re breaking my heart. I can’t hear this.”

Kenji & Warner:

Kenji flips us both off.
Aaron laughs. And then, leaning in –
“You really think I look good in everything?”
“Shut up, asshole.”
Aaron laughs again.

I still kind of SHIP THEM?! *LOL* I just can’t help but be in awe of Kenji being able to actually make Warner laugh!!! And the fact that Kenji thinks he looks good in everything?! Just too damn precious!! Like it’s really obvious that Kenji sorta digs him. XD Apparently Warner likes him too! Since we all know that Ella & Warner are the endgame and our OTP I’ll just accept their bromance and settle for being happy with it though! ;-P

”Bro, you really need to, like, eat a pizza or something,” he says, slapping me on the shoulder as he leaves. “You have too many abs.”
“What?” My eyebrows pull together.”

Nazeera & Kenji:

”Can’t look at you.”
She hesitates. “Why not?”
“Too pretty.”
She laughs, but angrily, like she might punch me in the face. “Kenji, I’m trying to be serious with you.”

I loved tired Kenji!! *lol* That boy can’t think clearly when he’s tired and the things he admitted and said to Nazeera!? Adorable, just freaking adorable! ❤ I swear if she doesn’t give him a decent chance and toys with him I’ll personally scratch her eyes out! XD Kenji deserves a really nice girl that understands him and takes care of him. That appreciates him for who he is! So you better be that girl Nazeera! Also it was really nice to finally get a sexy scene with Kenji. I always knew that he can be sweet and sexy so I was glad we eventually got to experience that side of him. And yes, Nazeera and my boy DO have chemistry. I just hope she’ll show her true colours in the last book. =)

Anderson & Warner:

”You know what? It’s better this way. Better for you to know,” he says quietly. “Better for you to understand exactly why you’re never going to see her again.”
“That’s not up to you.”

And I still DESPISE and HATE Anderson! Why isn’t that scumbag of a father dead already? Damn Evie and Max and all their stupid experiments. If they wouldn’t have helped him, Anderson would be where he belongs. Six feet under! And good riddance! Why can’t that man finally die?! My boy needs to be free of him in order to move on and as long as he is around that won’t happen. So can Mafi finally put an end to Anderson’s despicable reign? I think Warner suffered enough and I think he deserves a life, NO A WORLD, without his father in it. Can we get it real soon, please?!

”My mother warned me, years ago, to hide my heart from my father, and every time I slipped – every time I let myself hope he might not be a monster – he punished me, mercilessly.”

”He knew, when he made that deal, what he was asking me to do. I didn’t. I was sixteen, still young enough to believe in hope, and he took advantage of my naiveté. He knew what it would do to me. He knew it would break me. And it was all he’d ever wanted.
My soul.”

4

Just like after reading “Restore Me” I don’t know how to feel about this book. This time around my emotions at the end of “Defy Me” weren’t as intense as they were after reading its predecessor but I think that’s mostly due to the nature of the ending. And even though in here it all tied up nicely for a change I still have quite a lot of mixed feelings about it all. Plus, I can’t help but feel like this ending is just the calm before the storm. I know it! I know that all hell is going to break loose as soon as I open “Imagine Me” and I’m so scared of reading what will happen. >_< Let’s just hope this is going to be an ending I can live with. XD