Allgemein, P - T, Reviews, S

Review: Shatter Me (Tahereh Mafi)

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Rating: 4 Pfoten

I seriously don’t know why it took me so long to dig my claws into this book, but I definitely know that I don’t regret doing it! 😉

“Shatter Me” was an awesome read and I enjoyed it immensely! There were so many things I loved about this book and whilst it is true that many people complained about the writing style, I have to admit that I actually loved it.

“Hope is hugging me, holding me in its arms, wiping away my tears and telling me that today and tomorrow and two days from now I will be just fine and I’m so delirious I actually dare to believe it.”

I think it was something new and extraordinary and I loved the way Juliette described her world. The repetitions, her thoughts, the things she thought and even the truths she vehemently refused to admit. It all gave me a very good picture of her character and her mind, the many things she must have gone through shaping her into a person that distrusts everyone and desperately tries not to feel anything. XD Of course she’s failing but this actually only made her even more likeable. *lol*

See where I’m getting at? Tahereh Mafi knows exactly what she’s doing and she really managed to drag me into her world. Yes, I confess! I’m officially hooked now and I’m soo going to read all of the other books! ;-P
So be prepared to read many reviews! *LOL*

Okay, enough of the threats and right back to the characters! Oh, the characters! There’s so much to tell! XD

FAIR WARNING: Mild spoilers lying ahead of you! 😉

2

Juliette:

At the beginning of the book you don’t even know her name. Everything you know is that she’s been imprisoned for ages and that she’s more than just a little insecure. Considering her ability this is no surprise though, the fact she can hurt and even kill people with just the touch of her fingertips making it kind of hard to be all too sociable. Juliette may not talk a lot but she sees everything and she’s more than just observant. She obviously also seems to have a knack for poetry and I really enjoyed the way she used her words.

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.”

Adam:

That boy is hot as hell and Juliette’s new cell mate! Could a girl ask for more? Dark hair, blue eyes, awesome and muscular body! *drools* Okay, okay! I’m back on track! *lol* Yeah, as you can see Adam is just awesome boyfriend material and it’s no wonder that they kind of hit it off! He’s caring and gentle and he always tries to understand Juliette’s thoughts. I liked him from the beginning and I’m really curious to find out how things are going to proceed in the next books. =)

Sidenote: Is it just me or does he never tell Juliette that he loves her? O_o I thought this was kind of odd. Juliette told him she loved him but as far as I could read he never returned it…. Did I miss anything? xD

God, Juliette, I’d follow you anywhere. You’re the only good thing left in this world.”

Warner:

Oh my god! Warner! Gosh! Warner! Argh! Warner! *babbling mess* That boy, that boy gave me all the feels! Good and bad! Happy and angry! Disgusted and longing for more! *lol* I wanted him to touch Juliette and I wanted her to touch him! I just couldn’t decide if I wanted it because I wanted him to hurt or because I wanted them to make out! *LOL* What is it with me and the villains? Why do I love them so much!? XD First Maven and now Warner, I think I’m going to die! >_< Oh, well I think I’m supposed to say something about his character as well so here I go: He’s ruthless when he is with his soldiers but he is gentle whenever he is with Juliette. He seems to care about her a LOT and he even admitted that he loved her! But why does he hurt her so much? Warner is a big question mark and some sort of mystery I’m determined to solve. So yesh, I’m so going to read “Destroy me” after I wrote this review! XD

His smile is laced with dynamite. „Go to sleep.“
„Go to hell.“
He works his jaw. Walks to the door. „I’m working on it.”

„I’m nineteen years old.“ He clarifies. „I’m a fairly impressive specimen for my age, I know.“

Kenji:

I loved Kenji! That boy is so funny and I really enjoyed his sassy demeanour. He’s constantly hitting on Juliette and his character gives the book a hilarious edge. I want more of him and actually can’t wait to meet him again! =)

His grin is crooked. „I don’t know why, but I kind of like it when you threaten me.“
„That’s because you’re an idiot.“
„Nah.“ He shakes his head. „You’ve got a sexy voice makes everything sound naughty.“

So, if you haven’t already figured it out:
YES I liked “Shatter me” and I can easily recommend it to anyone who’s looking for a nice and short-lived page turner! =)

Enjoy! ;-P

Allgemein, K, K - O, Reviews

Review: Kingdom of Ash (Sarah J. Maas)

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Rating: 5 Pfoten

“Once upon a time, in a land long since burned to ash, there lived a young princess who loved her kingdom …”

And once upon a time there was a reviewer that loved this story and its characters so damn much that it broke her when it ended. Yes, believe me, it did. I was so thoroughly heartbroken that it took me TWO years to write this review.  Two entire years! This isn’t only a testimonial to how destroyed I was after finishing this series but also to how strongly I felt about it. For a while I didn’t even know if I wanted to write a review, but the more time passed and the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that I just had to get it out of my system. My heart and mind persisted that I write it down and who am I to deny my souls biggest desire?

So here I am, finally facing this review and no longer denying those words that craved to spill out of my fingers for such a long time. And the first thing I have to say is that “Kingdom of Ash” was a masterpiece that will probably never find its equal! Sarah outdid herself with this one and the conclusion to this series was incredibly breath-taking! I loved how all those loose ends were tied together, how she managed to give each and every single character not only the time to shine but also the necessary space to develop, to grow.

This is how the ending of a series should be done! This is how you write a stunning and harmonious ending! This is how you make your fans so happy they cry tears of joy! THIS IS IT! Period! I’ve never read such a brilliant ending to a series and I think I never will read anything like it ever again. Nothing will be able to be a match for it. I’m convinced of that. So before I continue to praise “Kingom of Ash” even more I’ll just jump right into my characters section and write it off my chest. I have so many thoughts and feelings… This is going to be a long, long review. *lol*

2

I’ve had A LOT of time to think about those characters so people buckle up and get ready for the freaky ride! This is going to be another one of my long-ass reviews, probably the longest one you’ll ever read from me. (It might be book length, no kidding! *lol*) So you can either leave it at that or join me on this super long and spoilery journey! It’s up to you! 😉 Here goes nothing!

Aelin:

”You do not yield.”

I DIED at the beginning of this book!! I just died! To see Aelin so throughly broken and weak! I just couldn’t take it! I suffered with her and I just wanted Cairn to die! He was a monster and he deserved every bit of pain he got from Rowan! Every single bit! My poor Aelin! She didn’t deserve this… no one deserves this! >_< I hated Maeve for what she did to her and I was praying for Rowan to arrive at the camp. I really thought Aelin would be broken after this but even though she was, she somehow found the strength to move on. It was such a heart-breaking journey and I believed every single bit of it. Sarah made it so palpable and real. I could see Aelin fight through it. She struggled, she fell, she got back up again, fell again, dragged herself with the mere strength of her hands. It was so painful to watch. T_T But in the end she succeeded, she faked it until it became reality. Until the parts of her that had been broken were able to mend. ❤ Aelin is my heroine! <333

”She’d fight for it, claw her way back to it, who she’d been before. Remember to swagger and grin and wink. She’d fight against that lingering stain on her soul, fight to ignore it. Would use this journey into the dark to piece herself back together – just enough to make it convincing.”

”I wanted to die by the end, before she ever threatened me with the collar. And even now, I feel like someone has ripped me from myself. Like I’m at the bottom of the sea, and who I am, who I was, is far up at the surface, and I will never get back there again.”

Rowan:

”Every horizon he’d gazed toward, unable and unwilling to rest during those centuries, every mountain and ocean he’d seen and wondered what lay beyond… It had been her. It had been Aelin, the silent call of the mating bond driving him, even when he could not feel it.”

And here is another character that killed me… slowly. Rowan’s search for Aelin was so gut-wrenching. I wanted him to find her so badly and I could feel all his anger, despair and the little bit of hope he held on to. He craved to find her, to save her from her fate at the hands of Maeve and Cairn and the longer his search for her continued the less I could take it. It hurt so much to read his POV. T_T When he finally found her I cried tears of joy and I prayed that he would be able to mend what had been broken. His compassion and his faith in her were one of the best things about this book and I’m so glad he was there for Aelin when she needed him the most. ❤ Also: He had no pity to spare for Cairn and I was fine with that. Rowan was every bit the relentless and strong fae warrrior I wanted him to be and I’m glad he was an individual in this book too. =)

Dorian:

”Dorian’s sapphire eyes churned, the hand on his sword tightening. Manon tensed at that contemplative, cold stare. The hint of the calculating predator beneath the king’s handsome face.”

YESH!!! Dorian didn’t die and became a force to be reckoned with instead! And I was so HERE. FOR. IT.!! I absolutely LOVED to see him so strong and uncompromising!! THAT’S MY BOY!!! What Sarah did with him here was everything I ever wanted and I was so damn happy with his character arc! He finally became what I always knew him to be: A strong and powerful king who used his abilities and skills in order to save the people he loved and cared about! <333 YES! I absolutely adore this precious cinnamon roll and I’m so glad he was able to hold on to his playful and gentle side. Dorian turning into a witch was definitely among my highlights of this book. *lol* PLUS the way he dealt with Maeve? Perfection! Utter perfection! All the scheming and plotting ahead. I AM IN AWE!!! The deal he made with Maeve and then the betrayal when she thought she had won! Ahhh! I swear Dorian betraying Maeve by trapping her in his mind and crumbling Morath almost as an afterthought is my new aesthetic!!! Like seriously! That’s so kickass! I can’t even! <333 #TeamDorianForeverAndForAlways

Dorian gave the witch one of those charming smiles and sketched a bow. “Dorian Havilliard, at your service.”
“The king,” one of the Crochans murmured from near the wyverns.
Dorian winked. “That I am, too.”

”This is war,” he said simply. We’re past that sort of thing.”
And it wouldn’t matter, would it, when his eternal soul would be the asking price to staunch so much of the slaughter? He’d already had it wrecked enough. If crossing line after line would spare any others from harm, he’d do it. He didn’t know what manner of king that made him.

”A sword of truth, yes, but also a reminder of what Adarlan had once been. What it might become again. If he did not falter. Did not doubt himself. For whatever time he had left.
He could make it right. All of it. He could make it right.”

”Who do you wish to be?
A king worthy of his crown. A king who would rebuild what had been shattered, both within himself and in his lands.”

Manon:

”I care,” she hissed. “I care if we lose this war. I care if I fail to rally the Crochans. I care if you go into Morath and do not return, not as something worth living.”

It’s been two years I finished this book and I’m still weeping whenever I think about Manon’s character arc! It was so beautifully done and I loved to see her fall in love with her people and with Dorian. ❤ Boy, did it break my heart though! I ladored that she finally admitted that she cares about her people and friends and her relationship with Abraxos will always be perfect! Manon realizing that she has feelings and even pretty strong ones at that made me so damn happy! It came at a high price for her though. That scene when she fell on her knees in the ashes of the Thirteen. I still get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes whenever I think about it. T_T  My heart aches so much for her. So many lives … her Thirteen that stood by her until the end. Ahhh I’m weeping again. *sobs* I’ll never forget that scene… and all the people with their white flowers. T_T *cries uncontrollably* Two freaking years and it still feels like I read it just yesterday. <333 My heart is in pieces… >_<
#StillRidingWithManonANDDorianIntoTheSunsetThough

”There is a better world out there,” she said again. “And I will fight for it.” She turned Abraxos away, toward the plunge behind them. “Will you?”

”She would beg, she would crawl, if it bought him the chance to live.
Her warrior-hearted mount. Who had saved her far more than she had ever saved him. Who had saved her in the ways that counted most.”

”Not a trace of the Thirteen, or their brave, noble wyverns.
Manon fell to her knees.
Ashes rose, fluttering, soft as snow as they clung to the tears on her face.
Abraxos lay beside her, his tail curling around her while she bowed over her knees and wept.”

Chaol:

”I don’t make bargains with bastards,” Chaol said, smiling again as he entered the hall beyond. “I’m certainly not going to start with you.”

Now that’s the Chaol I love and I’m so glad he found back to himself in “Tower of Dawn”. He’s become so much stronger than he ever was and he’s finally the person he should have always been. I loved that his father wasn’t able to get to him anymore and that he was so at peace with himself. Nothing could shake him and he was a firm and formidable force in the final war. ❤ We all know how much he suffered in ToD, but boy was it worth it! I love this new Chaol and I hope he’ll be happy with Yrene! =)

Yrene:

“Your son spent the last several months forging an alliance with the khaganate, and now all of the khagan’s armies sail to this continent to save your people. So while you sit here in your miserable keep, tossing insults at him, know that he has done what no other could do, and if your city survives, it will be because of him, not you.”

Ahhh I loved how the story of her became full circle in here! It all started with Yrene and Aelin meeting at an inn years ago and it turned into so much more than that! It shows how a little kindness can change the entire course of someone’s life and I lived and breathed for the moment those two met again! <333 I suppose in some way Aelin is the reason why Chaol is happy now because she helped Yrene find her way so many years ago. XD And this is just beautiful! ❤ Yrene has come such a long way from the young girl she was (truth be told, Aelin did too) and I adore the strong woman she has become. The way she put Chaol’s father in his place was marvellous and I’m sure she’ll be a great mom! =)

”I went to the Torre,” Yrene said, her voice cracking. “I took the money you gave me, and went to the Torre. And I became the heir apparent to the Healer on High. And now I have come back, to do what I can. I taught every healer I could the lessons you showed me that night, about self-defense. I didn’t waste it – not a coin you gave me, or a moment of the time, the life you bought me.” Tears were rolling and rolling down Yrene’s face. “I didn’t waste any of it.”

Yrene folded the queen’s fingers around the paper. “It is yours, as it always was. A piece of your bravery that helped me find my own.”
Aelin shook her head, as if to dismiss the claim.
But Yrene squeezed Aelin’s closed hand. “It gave me courage, the words you wrote. Every mile I travelled, every long hour I studied and worked, it gave me courage. I thank you for that, too.”

Lysandra:

“I was once forced to crawl before men. And gods above, I nearly crawled for you these months. And yet it takes me nearly dying for you to realize that you’ve been an ass? It takes me nearly dying for you to see me as human again?”

I’m still besotted with Lysandra! That woman is amazing! ❤ AND I’m glad she stood her ground and didn’t give into Aedion’s stupid bullying! Like seriously! What was he even thinking!? Lysandra risked so much for Aelin and her court and my heart broke for her when Aedion pushed her away. She really didn’t have it easy in this book and the mere fact she came out of it alive tells us everything we need to know. Lysandra is such a strong woman and she endured so much, yet she never broke! XD She’s my role model and I just love her! ❤ I was so glad that Falkan Ennar and her met at the end of the book and that she finally has an uncle that loves her as much as she deserves to be loved! The scene of their reunion was so heart-warming! =)))

”Whatever you wish,” Falkan said. “You shall never want for anything again.”
Lysandra was crying, and it was pure joy on her face as she flung her arms around Falkan and embraced him tightly.

Aedion:

”He’d said such horrible things to her that day she’d taken down the ilken. Where are our allies? he’d demanded. He was still trying to forgive himself for it. For any of it. All that he had was this one chance to make it right, to do as she’d asked and save their kingdom.”

AEDION YOU STUPID EEJIT!!!! I just couldn’t with Aedion in this! LIKE ARGH!!! That man made me so damn angry I can’t even!!! I get that he was worried and angry about Aelin that he was desperate to save his country and to survive, but none of it can justify how he behaved towards Lysandra! I mean he forced her to leave his tent when she was wounded and weak and she had to CRAWL in the snow to get out of it! CRAWL! In front of their men! WTF!? He humiliated her because she did what she had to do and that’s not okay! There is no excuse for his behaviour and if I would have been Lysandra I would have kicked him in his balls and served them for dinner! I really loved Aedion in the former books but in this one I hated him and if you ask me his redemption arc should have been more pronounced.  I can’t forgive him for what he did… actually I’m surprised Lysandra could. >_<

”You agreed to let Aelin go to her death, and leave us here to be slashed to bloody ribbons. You two told no one of this plan, told none of us who might have explained the realities of this war, and that we would need a gods-damned Fire-Bringer and not an untrained, useless shape-shifter against Morath.”

Fenrys:

”Let it kill him, wreck him. He would not serve. Not another heartbeat. He would not obey.
He would not obey.
And slowly, Fenrys got to his feet.”

MY PRECIOUS BABY!!!! <333 I love Fenry’s to bits and pieces! He deserves so much better than he got and what he had to go through in here was so horrible! Maeve didn’t just take his brother away from him, she also did it permanently by killing him and she even made him watch! Which was so wrong and cruel on so many different levels. T_T Fenry’s was at least as broken as Aelin but he continued to fight and against Maeve’s power over him. The pull to follow her and Cairn’s orders must have been so strong but he didn’t cave and I just about died when he got to his feet! Fenrys is precious he needs to be protected at all costs. ❤ With or without scars he’s my baby! Period!

Fenrys just nodded. “I haven’t been able to stomach it since then. I – I’m not even certain I can use it again,” he said, and repeated, “I’m sorry.”

3

Aelin & Rowan:

”He prayed that fire, that rage, had not broken. He knew how many days it had been, knew who Maeve had promised would oversee the torture. Knew the odds were stacked against her.”

Those two broke my heart! T_T Aelin prayed Rowan would find her and he was looking for her all over the world. I hate Maeve so much for taking Aelin from Rowan and for hurting both of them in such a cruel way! Aelin’s torture was awful and atrocious and just like her I wanted it to end. I hated that she was so broken by what Cairn did to her and I knew there was no way she would get out of something like this without having physical as well as mental scars. When Rowan finally found her and she wanted him to take off that mask I was crying along with her. It broke my heart! T_T To be in his presence eased some of her pain though and even though she barely spoke a word after what happened to her it was so good to see that slowly but deliberately she came back to him. Rowan was so damn gentle with her… and I was so glad he was there for her. ❤ Those two had a really amazing relationship and I hope they can finally be happy now. They deserve it! After everything they had to go through they deserve a peaceful life in Terassen! The more I think about it the more I’m sure Sarah only gave us that corny relationship in EoS so that we could hold on to something when bad things happened to Aelin in this book. XD They are together now though and I hope their HEA will last! ❤

Aelin sobbed, her body shuddering with the force of it. “Take it off.”
Rowan’s eyes flickered, panic and heartbreak and longing shining there. “I will. But you have to be still, Fireheart. Just for a few moments.”
“Take it off.” The sobs ebbed, tricking into something broken and raw. Rowan ran his thumbs over her wrists, over those iron shackles. As if it were nothing but her skin. Slowly, her shaking eased.

She didn’t bother arguing. Not as she admitted, “I want it to be over.”
He went wholly still, but granted her the space to think, to speak.
“I want it to be over and done with,” she said hoarsely. “This war, the gods and the Wyrdgate and the Lock. All of it.“ She rubbed her temples, pushing past the weight, the lingering stain that no fire might cleanse. “I want to go to Terrasen, to fight, and then I want it to be over.”

Dorian & Manon:

”Only with her did he not need to explain. Only with her did he not need to be a king, or anything but what he was. Only with her would there be no judgement for what he’d done, who he’d failed, what he might still have to do.”

Ohh those two had to work through a lot in this book! They both had scars from the former books in this series and it was really great to see them work through their issues. Especially because they tried to do it together. They didn’t give each other an inch and both of them didn’t shy away from pointing out the truth. I think their dynamic was good for both of them and being the stubborn people that they are they probably needed each other more than they were willing to admit. Still, when push came to shove they could always count on each other. I loved their relationship so much, like seriously! So, so damn much! Their respect and the fact that they are each other’s equal, that they knew exactly what the other thought and felt and that they didn’t want to turn the other into something he couldn’t be. Just amazing!  They’ll always be my OTP! My sexy and playful power couple! <333 I will go down with this ship!!! Enough said! <3333

”I care about more than I should. I even care about you.”
Another wrong thing to say.
Manon stood – as high as the tent would allow. “Then you’re a fool.” She shoved on her boots and stomped into the frigid night.

Dorian leaned in close, tipping his head back to stare into her eyes as he purred, “Because while you might be older, might be deadly in a thousand different ways, deep down, you’re afraid. You don’t know how to ask me to stay, because you’re afraid of admitting to yourself that you want it. You’re afraid. Of yourself more than anyone else in the world. You’re afraid.”

He could have sworn fear entered her eyes. Yet she didn’t rage at him, roar at him – didn’t so much as snarl. She only asked, “You’re not afraid to go alone?”
“Of course I’m afraid. Anyone in their right mind would be. But my task is more important than fear, I think.”

”Dorian twined a wave of her silver hair around his finger. For a heartbeat, he allowed himself to drink her in. She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, his mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it.
But he could see the bars of the cage that would creep closer, tighter, every day. And either break her wholly, or turn her into something neither of them wished her to ever be.”

Chaol & Yrene:

”Yrene is the finest healer of her generation,” Chaol said with deadly quiet. “Her worth is greater than any crown.” And in this war, it might very well be.
“You don’t need to bother proving my value to him,” Yrene said, her icy eyes pinned on his father. “I know precisely how talented I am. I don’t require his blessing.”
She meant every damn word.

It was so beautiful to see their relationship thrive! To see how content they were around each other and how bravely they tackled every challenge that was thrown their way. It made me kind of sad to realize that they didn’t get all too much page time in KoA but I guess after they got an entire book for their relationship to develop and grow Sarah figured she could let them be happy with the way they are. She certainly wasn’t wrong with that because the little moments we got were all precious and I adored seeing them on page. XD Also Yrene is pregnant with Chaol’s child!!!! YESH!! Finally a ToG baby! *lol* They’ll have one hell of a fierce and stubborn child! <333

Chaol turned to where Dorian sat with Elide atop the shifter, the love on her husband’s face hardening to something fierce and determined.
“Keep her safe,” was all Chaol said. Perhaps the only order, Yrene realized, he would ever give his king. Their king.
It was why she loved him. Why she knew that the child in her womb would never spend a single moment wondering if it was loved.

Lysandra & Aedion:

”She had lied to him. Deceived him so thoroughly that any moment between them, any conversation… he didn’t know what had been real. Didn’t want to know. Didn’t want to know if she’d meant any of it, when he’d so stupidly left everything laid out before her.”

My heart was bleeding on the pages whenever I read about them. I swear, every word from Aedion’s lips was poison, every accusation thrown at Lysandra another twist with the knife that seemed to be stuck in my chest. I felt so bitter about my second favourite ship drowning or… well, tbh it rather crashed and burned without the sexy parts. T_T I never got my sexy scene, all I got was heartbreak and pain and I hated Aedion for it! I still can’t believe Sarah wrecked my ship so thoroughly. I know she tried to redeem him in the end but it was too little too late and I can’t really ship them anymore. At 60% of the book I would have been totally fine with – little kids, please don’t read this – Lysandra ripping out his balls and eating them for breakfast! How could he hurt her so much when he knew how she felt about him??!! And it wasn’t even like he wouldn’t have had her in the end. Sure she would have looked like Aelin but she still would have been Lysandra underneath. So if he wanted to blame anyone he should have blamed Aelin or Maeve or stupid Cairn. But certainly not Lysandra! She was ready to give up her life for his country and that’s how he repaid her for it? Not okay! I’m happy Lysandra is happy now but I don’t think I can truly ship them again. >_<

”After Wesley, after all of it, I wanted it to be you. What Aelin asked me to do had no bearing on that. What she asked me to do never felt like a burden, because I wanted it to be you in the end anyway.” She didn’t wipe away the tears that slipped down her cheeks. “And you threw me into the snow.”

Aedion’s grin turned predatory. “May I ask something of you, then?”
“I don’t think you’re in a position to make requests, but fine.”
That wolfish grin remained as he whispered in her ear, “If I don’t die tomorrow, may I kiss you when the day is done?”

Elide & Lorcan:

”I didn’t crawl after Maeve.”
She halted, hair swaying. Slowly, she glanced over her shoulder. Imperious and cold as the stars overhead.
“I crawled…” His throat bobbed. “I crawled after Aelin.”

I think we can all agree that those two had one of the most epic scenes in the entire book! I mean OMG! Them outrunning the flood was so damn suspenseful!!! Farasha was carrying them both and I was quite literally holding my breath for all of those pages!!! I had to know how it ended!!! XD And thankfully it ended good! I’m so glad they managed to sort things out and yes, Lorcan had to go through a lot to make up for his actions but in their case I could forgive him and Elide for being stupid for a little while. *lol* Their love story was such a nice slow burn and Elide riding like the wind in order to rescue her fae warrior will always be one of my favourite parts of this book! I can’t help but laugh about his title though. Lord Lorcan Lochan! *LOL* It’s epic! XD Ahh my heart feels all warm and fuzzy just thinking about them. ❤

”I love you,” he whispered in Elide’s ear. “I have loved you form the moment you picked up that axe to slay the ilken.” Her tears flowed past him in the wind. “And I will be with you…” His voice broke, but he made himself say the words, the truth in his heart. “I will be with you always.”

”I will marry you, Elide Lochan. And proudly call myself Lord Lorcan Lochan, even when the whole kingdom laughs to hear it.” He kissed her, gently and lovingly. “And when we are wed,” he whispered, “I will bind my life to yours. So we will never know a day apart. Never be alone, ever again.”
Elide covered her face with her hands and sobbed, at the heart he offered, at the immortality he was willing to part with for her. For them.

Aelin & Fenrys:

”Beyond words, unsure her throat would even work, Aelin blinked three times. Are you all right?
Two blinks answered. No.”

Their friendship was so pure and deep it almost broke me! <333 Even though they were in the clutches of Maeve and Cairn they still had each other and I loved Fenry’s for being there for Aelin and for Aelin trying to give him at least a little bit of comfort. They went through so much… through so, so, so, so damn much together and it forged a bond that will never be broken. The moment when Fenrys broke his oath to save Aelin I was crying. He gave his life for her and she sobbed his name until they finally got him out of Cairn’s camp and brought him to her! I was so relieved when he took the blood oath and she commanded him back to life because I probably would have died if he wouldn’t have come out of it alive! The moment he hugged her… ahh my heart!!! <333 I love them and their friendship. Such a deep and meaningful bond.

”A small sigh broke from Fenrys before he folded Aelin into his arms, a shudder rippling through him. Rowan couldn’t see her face, perhaps he didn’t need to, as her hands gripped Fenrys’s jacket, so tightly they were white-knuckled.
A good sign – a small miracle, that either of them wished, could be touched.”

Aelin, Chaol & Dorian:

”But Aelin was only staring at him. Staring and staring at him.
No one spoke as tears began sliding down her face.
Not at his being here, Chaol realized as he took up his cane and limped towards Aelin.
But at him. Standing. Walking.
The young queen let out a broken laugh of joy and flung her arms around his neck.”

Okay, I admit it I’m still a weeping and crying mess!! Those THREE! THOSE THREE!!! AHHH! I cried an ocean when they met again and I cried even more when they had to part at the end of the book! Their friendship was everything and even more and it was so good to see them all together again. After everything they went through, after everything they survived, after everything that happened, their friendship is still going strong. <333 They’re the original trio that started it all and to see them together on one page reduced me to being an emotional and babbling mess! I’ll never get over the love those three feel for each other and I’ll love them forever! <333 And now excuse me while I weep some more! T_T

”But Dorian stared at the rider before him. At the posture of the body, the commanding seat he possessed.
And as Chaol Westfall dismounted and ran the last few feet toward Dorian, the King of Adarlan wept.”

Aelin looked at Chaol and Dorian and sobbed. Opened her arms to them, and wept as they held each other.
“I love you both,” she whispered. “And no matter what may happen, no matter how far we may be, that will never change.”
“We will see you again,” Chaol said, but even his voice was thick with tears.
“Together,” Dorian breathed, shaking. “We’ll rebuild this world together.”

Nesryn & Sartaq:

”We’ve a battle to launch tomorrow. Again.”
“And a day of death has made me want to hold you,” the prince said, giving her that disarming grin she had no defenses against. Especially as he added, “And do other things with you.”

Nesryn and Sartaq is another couple I would have loved to see more of but unfortunately they were just side-characters in this one. As I already said with Yrene and Chaol I understand Sarah’s decision to let them be in the background though. Still, I love Sartaq! ❤ He’s still his disarming flirty self and Nestryn and he got at least a few moments together. So I’ll count my blessings and be happy that this super, super slow burn finally turned into a solid and good relationship! *lol* I can’t picture Nesryn as an Empress but I know she’ll be a great one. Just like Sartaq will be an awesome Khagan! XD

”Empress? Really?”
Sartaq’s dark eyes glittered. “We won the war, Nesryn Faliq.” He tugged her close. “And now we shall go home.” She’d never heard such beautiful words.

4

Just in case those last 5.598 words didn’t already make it abundantly clear: I LOVED “Kingdom of Ash”!! It’s one of the best endings of a series I ever read and I’m in awe of Sarah’s genius! She managed to do something not many authors are capable of doing and actually tied up all her loose ends. Her impeccable writing style leaves noting to be desired and after two years I can still say: This is a masterpiece! <333 So read it, enjoy it, cry over it, laugh and weep with your favourite characters and know they’ll always have a special place in your heart – even if you close the final page of this book! <333

Allgemein, P - T, Reviews, T

Review: Tower of Dawn (Sarah J. Maas)

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Rating: 5 Pfoten

”There are choices in my past,” he said tightly, “that I have come to regret. But I can only move on – and attempt to fix them. Fight to make sure they do not occur again.”

Where do I even start with this review?
It was different. Different than all the books that came before because the pacing wasn’t as fast as in the former books and Sarah actually took her time to support the development of her characters and the plot. I know some people might think that an entire book about Chaol would be boring or that such a slow pacing would be detrimental for the overall storyline of the series but for me it wasn’t! Quite the contrary!

I think this book was necessary and needed and if you didn’t read “Tower of Dawn” because you don’t like Chaol and think you can ignore his story, it’s your choice, but I think you’re missing out on a lot of fun and important information that is vital to understand the events in “Kingdom of Ash”. 😉

Yes, this is a book about healing and recovering from injuries, it’s a book about guilt and redemption, it’s a story about a broken man who fights his way back into life, it’s about acknowledging the darkness that lives within all of us and about embracing it in order to learn how to move on. It’s about acceptance! Acceptance of the past, the present, the future, about recognizing your fears and faults, about making amends, but most of all it’s a story about a man who fights his inner demons and learns to love himself.

It’s one of the most beautiful stories I’ve read so far and even though the slow burns and pacing killed me I can still say that it fit the atmosphere of the book perfectly. This was a harmonious masterpiece and I can only speak for myself but from me Sarah gets all the stars and even more!!! <333

I loved this and thoroughly enjoyed it and I hope many other people will read and love it too! =))

2

You are now entering my “Spoilery Spoiler Section” and if you want to be spoiled take a seat, grab something to eat and drink and enjoy another one of my endless ToG essays. *lol* If you haven’t read this book yet and plan to dive into it soon you better leg it though. XD Consider yourself warned! ;-P

Chaol:

”Lord Chaol Westfall, Hand of the King.
He hated it. More than the sound of wheels. More than the body he now could not feel beneath his hips, the body whose stillness still surprised him, even after all these weeks later.
He was Lord of Nothing, Lord of Oath-Breakers. Lord of Liars.”

Oh Chaol!!! How much I suffered with him throughout the course of this entire book!!! He was so broken and loathed himself so much. To read his POV was more than just painful and to see how all his actions gnawed on him made me infinitely sad. He was practically flagellating himself and his self-hatred knew no boundaries. >_< This poor, poor man!!! Trapped in a broken body and left with a shattered soul. There were so many things he never worked through and if you ask me, it was about time he confronted his inner demons. (Quite literally I may add) And boy how he did it! I AM SO DAMN PROUD OF MY BOY!!! I CAN’T EVEN PUT IT INTO WORDS!!! Chaol’s journey was worth every second of my time! I finally saw the boy I liked so much in those first two books and it was so good to have him back again! To see his journey, to see how he grew in this book, how he accepted his mistakes and learned from them, how he became a stronger person! Gosh, this was everything I ever wanted and more! ❤ Hands down one of the best character arcs I ever had the pleasure to read about! =)) Thank you Queen Maas!!! *bows*

”A man used to being obeyed, yes, but a man also inclined to care for others. Look after them. Driven to do it by a compulsion he couldn’t leash, couldn’t train out of him. Couldn’t have broken out of him.”

”He’d been sinking and drowning since. Long before his spine.
He wasn’t certain if he’d even tried to swim. Not since that sword had gone into the river. Not since he’d left Dorian in that room with his father and told his friend – his brother – that he loved him, and knew it was good-bye. He’d … left. In every sense of the word.”

”A body on a bed. A dagger poised above his heart. A head rolling on stone. A collar around a neck. A sword sinking to the bottom of the Avery.”

”Life. He had life to savor, to fight for.
And the breaking that had started and ended here … Yes, it belonged to him. He was allowed to break, so that this forging might begin.
So that he might begin again.”

Yrene:

”The day I reached these shores, I cast aside that girl. And I will be damned if I let her reemerge. Or let someone tell me what to do with my life, my choices again.”

Haha! Boy, was I angry at Yrene!!! That horrible behaviour!! *lol* Seriously, the way she treated Chaol at the beginning of the book was so appalling! I mean I understand why she did it and why she hated him so much, but she didn’t even know him and never even gave him the benefit of the doubt. So I was basically bristling with indignation when she treated him that bad. XD Once she started to heal him she realized how wrong she was though and to see how she started to care for Chaol, how she realized that he was a good man. Well, let’s just say it was worth all the trouble they had at the beginning. ;-P Plus I loved that Yrene was so stubborn and headstrong and that she never backed down! That woman had guts! *lol* Especially when she threw Hasar into the water because she insulted Chaol. It takes quite some courage to go to such lengths and if there is one thing Yrene has in abundance then it’s certainly bravery. XD

Nesryn:

”So she’d figured it was better to remain, to be passed over, not for mere pay, but for the fact that there were so few other guards like her, helping those who needed it most. It was for them she stayed on, kept her head down while lesser men were appointed.”

And here I go with another woman that received my anger at the beginning of the book. *lol* Once again I understand why Nesryn acted the way she did and decided to leave with Sartaq, but damn did it bother me that she didn’t even tell Chaol in person. Yes, they had to leave quickly and were pressed for time, but still. She basically left him to deal with this huge pile of crap and that poor boy was already unable to cope with anything that happened. She should have known better than that and shouldn’t have left him to his own devices. Promises or not this was a shitty move and she knew it. 😉 Despite all that I still like her though. I mean Nesryn is a woman who’s self-confident and knows her weaknesses and strengths. She’s comfortable in her own skin and goes her own way. I have to admire that even though it made me angry at the beginning. *lol*

Sartaq:

”There is beauty in my father’s lands,” the prince went on while Kadara ripped into that monstrous carcass, “but there is much lurking beneath the surface, too.”

I LOVE SARTAQ!!! Of all the new characters that were introduced in this book this man definitely was the best!!! GAH! I don’t even know where to start! I loved everything about him! I mean he’s the khagan’s son and he’s a ruk rider and he’s charming, funny, sweet, eloquent, down-to-earth and never hesitates to voice his opinion. He is so honest, honourable, compassionate, caring, courageous and attentive it’s impossible not to love him. <333 Of all the khagan’s children I liked him the most and this right from the very first page he was introduced. XD I really hope we’ll see more of him in “Kingdom of Ash” and I can’t wait to see how all the other characters are going to react to him! =))

”I am sorry – for your loss. As long ago as it was. I … As a warrior, I grew up walking hand-in-hand with Death. And yet this one … It has been harder to endure than others. And my mother’s grief perhaps even harder to face than my own.”

Hasar:

”Hasar was many things, but she was loyal. To her core. To the few, few people whom she favoured. It had always warmed something in Yrene. To have someone who actually meant what they said. Hasar would behead the killer if they were unfortunate to encounter her. She would ask no questions, either.”

I still don’t know if I should like her or if I should dislike her. *lol* On the one hand I admired her brutal honesty and ruthlessness but on the other hand I didn’t like her attitude towards Chaol and Nesryn. Well, truth be told, even towards Yrene. I mean Yrene is her best friend, yet she didn’t even hesitate to use her in order to get some information from Chaol. She didn’t care if her best friend felt threatened by her and she didn’t give a damn about Yrene’s feelings when she basically forced her on Chaol. Right after the motto: The end justifies the means. She seems to be an intriguing character but I didn’t see all too much of her so I’m still undecided. Mhmm… maybe KoA will help me to get to know her better? =)

3

Yrene & Chaol:

”So you may look at me with resentment Yrene Towers, and I will not blame you for it. But believe me when I say that there is no one in Erilea who loathes me more than I do myself.”

To say those two had a bad start would be putting it more than just mildly! *LOL* They were at each other’s throat right from the moment Yrene walked into Chaol’s room, but they both had to go a long way and it was so nice to see them grow. Not just character-wise but also in the sense of growing together. I think that describes it really well. Over time their initial distrust turned into hesitant acceptance, a solid friendship and then into something more. And I LIVE for relationships like that! <333 Those two were so amazing together and there were so many moments that caused me to gasp. For instance the intense scene at the dinner party of the khagan’s children! I swear the air was burning between them! And the moment when Yrene coaxed him into walking towards her? Gosh, such a beautiful chapter and so typical for Chaol. He only started to walk because he wanted to apologize to her. *shakes head* Sweet boy! I have to admit that the ending kind of threw me though. I mean he went all this way, Yrene healed him fully and then he gave his life for her and once again was almost killed in the process. It’s just not fair that he had to suffer again, that he’ll suffer for the rest of his life now that Yrene made that deal with the goddess, but it still … idk it fits?! Their lives are connected now, not just by their love but also by the bond that was forged when Yrene saved him. And considering how deep their love is, this is kind of perfect and suitable? I mean, they probably couldn’t imagine a life without each other anyway so I guess it’s good they are tethered to each other? *lol* I’m making no sense, but I hope everyone who read this book knows what I mean! XD And I really, really, really hope they’ll both survive KoA! >_<

”Everything I thought, everything I had planned and wanted … It’s gone. All I have left is my king, and this ridiculous, slim scrap of hope that we survive this war and I can find a way to make something of it.”
“Of what?”
“Of everything that crumbled in my hands. Everything.”

”I don’t share a bed with patients. And you’re with Captain Faliq,” she added quickly. “And you’re –“
“Not in fit form to pleasure a woman?”
He was shocked he said it. But again more than a tad smug to see her eyes flare.
“No,” Yrene said, somehow going redder. “Certainly not that. But you’re… you.”
“I’m trying not to be insulted.”

Yet Yrene wrapped her arms around herself and said, “I feel safer here.”
Chaol tried not to blink at her. At the words.
With him. She felt safer here with him.

”He didn’t understand – how she could be so delicate, so small, when she had overturned his life entirely. Worked miracles with those hands and that soul, this woman who had crossed mountains and seas.”

Nesryn & Sartaq:

”After last night’s party, I had thought you would be … preoccupied.”
With Chaol. Her brows rose. “All day?”
The prince gave her a roguish smile, finishing off his long braid and picking up his spear once more. “I certainly would take all day.”

BLESS SARTAQ and his unapologetic flirting!!! *lol* I loved him so much and it was so funny to see self-confident Nesryn blush! Those two killed me! Throughout the entire book I may add! GAH! I swear I rarely came across such a slow burn (the only other example that instantly comes to mind is “The Raven Cycle”) and up until almost the last page I was like: “KISS GODDAMIT!! KISS!!! WHY WON’T YOU FINALLY KISS??!!! ADKASDLFSJAJKLMNÖ!” I swear, I was constantly complaining to Gem about them not even holding hands (Thank you for enduring my rants btw! *lol*) and I couldn’t believe that Sarah actually went for such a slow burn! XD I mean when I think about EoS… well you get the idea. Haha! Anyway, those two were so cute together, especially Sartaq, that I just wanted this ship to sail. Badly! And OMG was it a relief when they FINALLY kissed in the end! I hope they’ll have a few tender moments in KoA as well and that this isn’t all we get because ARGH I might actually die if a chaste kiss is everything they are going for. Look at me complaining about all those sexy scenes in EoS and now begging for some with Sartaq and Nesryn. *lmao* Sarah, you clearly messed me up big time… *shakes head*

”It took her another minute to stop trembling. Sartaq patiently waited, stroking her hair, fingers rippling over the ridges of Borte’s braid. She let him, leaned into the touch while she studied the gap they’d now have to jump, the stairs still beyond.”

”But even as the night moved on, as Nesryn sang in that beautiful mountain-hall, she felt Sartaq’s stare. Different from any he’d given before. And though she told herself she should, Nesryn did not look away.”

Sartaq smiled at her – gently. Sweetly. In a way she had not yet seen.
“I loved you before I even set eyes on you,” he said.
“Please,” Nesryn wept.
Sartaq’s hand tightened on hers. “I wish we’d had time.”

Nesryn left her body. Could only manage to breathe.
And when she tried to bow, Sartaq gripped her shoulders tightly. Stopped her before her head could even lower. “Never from you,” he said quietly.

Dorian & Chaol:

”Even as boys, I knew he was not his father’s son. I knew a better future lay with him, if I could make sure Dorian lived long enough. If he not only lived, but also survived – emotionally. If he had an ally, a true friend, in that court of vipers. Neither of us was old enough, strong enough to challenge his father. We saw what happened to those who whispered of rebellion. I knew that if I, if he set one foot out of line, his father would kill him, heir or no. So I craved the stability, the safety of the status quo.”

Those moments when Chaol thought about Dorian were the death of me. So much pain on both sides and Dorian never even blamed Chaol for leaving him in the castle. I can’t wait until those two are reunited again and I’m sure I’ll cry like a baby when they face each other after everything that happened. I just want them to hug and to be happy! <333 This friendship survived so much, I hope it will survive that final war too! They deserve it! *sobs* T_T

”I don’t know. He is free – he is alive. But is he fine? He suffered. Greatly. In ways I can’t begin to…” His throat tightened to the point of pain. “It should have been me. I had always planned for it to be me instead.”

Aelin & Chaol:

”Chaol?”
For wherever you need to go – and then some. The world needs more healers.
There, in her handwriting…
Chaol looked up at last, blinking away tears as he scanned his wife’s face. Every beautiful line, those golden eyes.
A gift.
A gift from a queen who had seen another woman in hell and thought to reach back a hand. With no thought of it ever being returned. A moment of kindness, a tug on a thread…

THIS MOMENT!!! I cried so freaking much when Chaol discovered that Aelin was the woman who helped Yrene all those years ago. This scene was so moving I’m having tears in my eyes just thinking about it. Precious Chaol crying. T_T Ahh, I swear there are so many different feels when I think about this revelation and they make me a crying mess, so I better stop talking about them now. XD

4

All told, I enjoyed this book even more than I expected and to say I loved every single second of it would probably be the understatement of the century. There was never a dull or boring moment and after reading five books (6 if you count “The Assassin’s Blade”) I was actually surprised that I’m still able to fall for newly introduced characters. Thank you, Sarah! ❤

And of course special thanks also go to my precious Gem! I wouldn’t have survived this book (and the slow burns) without you and I’m so glad we’re already reading the last book together! =) I can’t believe we actually buddy read this entire series!!! *lol* What’s going to come next?! We need another long series like that! XD

A, A - E, Allgemein, Reviews

Review: A Curse So Dark and Lonely (Brigid Kemmerer)

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Rating: 4 Pfoten

Book 11 on My Book List 2020


”My father once said we are all dealt a hand at birth. A good hand can ultimately lose – just as a poor hand can win – but we must all play the cards fate deals. The choices we face may not be the choices we want, but they are choices nonetheless.”

So after reading “A Curse so Dark and Lonely” I was actually kind of surprised to discover that a lot of my favourite bloggers only rated this book 3 or 2 stars. I get that they are tired of “The Beauty and the Beast” retellings but I don’t get the low ratings. O_o In short: Yours truly is confused! *lol* Sure, there are a lot of retellings at the market right now and yes, ACOTAR is among them, but that doesn’t mean that this wasn’t good. Quite the contrary, in its own way it had quite a unique spin. Well, at least in my humble opinion it did. 😉

For instance Harper, the love interest, has cerebral palsy, the beast is no beast right away but slowly turns into one the more time passes, and even more interesting Rhen actually has a (best) friend. XD (Though I’m pretty sure a lot of people might disagree with me, when it comes to that last part.) Also there’s an evil sorceress that apparently has nothing better to do than to torment our MCs. Who doesn’t love a wicked witch? *lol*

Joking aside this was a lot of fun to read and it definitely kept me reading. Sure, you might argue that the jump from modern DC to Emberfall was quite sudden and jarring and yes, I’m the first one to admit that Grey (the side-character) was my favourite character in this book. Still, I might have not been as attached to Harper and Rhen as I was to Grey, this doesn’t mean that the book or its characters were bad though. Sometimes you just like the side-characters more and this is certainly one of those particular cases. (Come to think of it this seems to be a recurring thing when it comes to “The Beauty and the Beast” retellings. After all I loved Lucien and Rhys way more than Tam too. XD) Anyway, if you’re looking for a fast and entertaining TBATB retelling I’m pretty sure you’ll like this one too. 😉 And now that we got that out of the way, let’s jump right to my characters section!

2

Welcome to Emberfall where we always have autumn and it never gets cold. But that’s not all!  We also have a lot of amazing sights like for instance lots of spoilers, a beast, enemy troops and a super evil enchantress. Just like the spoilers you might want to avoid the enchantress though. *lol* This is a fair warning! If they get their hands on you I’m not responsible. ;-P

Harper:

”She wasn’t conscious. She wasn’t going willingly.” Her words are fierce. “And for the record, I’m not either.”

Ahh that fire! I really liked Harper right from the beginning. This is a girl that thinks on her feet and stands by her opinion! She is certainly no damsel in distress and I was happy to see such an independent character. Harper is ready to fight for her life and for what she thinks is right and she won’t back down just because of an evil enchantress and a curse. I think in some way that made her the perfect match for Rhen because she’s not broken and he actually needed a strong willed person like her. This said, I don’t know a lot about cerebral palsy but for me the rep was done really well. I liked that Harper was honest about it and that she considered herself to be lucky. Just like epilepsy, cerebral palsy seems to come with different characteristics and with a different severity for every person that’s affected by it and I could really relate to that. I’m really curious where Harper’s character will go in the next book and I can’t wait to see more of her relationship with Rhen.

”It affects everyone differently,” she says. “Some people can’t walk, or they can’t speak, or they have to use a wheelchair. I was a lot worse off when I was younger, so I had to have surgery to correct my left leg. I still have trouble with balance, and I walk with a limp, but I’m really lucky.”

”You are not angry about what Lilith has done?”
“Oh, I’m furious. But not about my face.”
“Then what?”
Her voice fills with steel. “I’m mad I missed.”

Rhen:

”I remember a time when my people feared the day I would come to lead – because I was seen as spoiled and selfish and not half the man my father was.
Now I am spoiled and selfish in another way, and no better fit to rule.”

Lord Vincent Aldrhen, Prince of Emberfall, son of Broderick, King of the Eastern Lands. Wow! That’s quite a long title, no wonder he goes by Rhen. *lol* Rhen was a very difficult character to gauge. I guess this is mostly due to him having to endure not only the curse but also the company of Lilith. At first I thought he was just reserved and cautious but the more I found out about him, the more I realized that he was thoroughly broken. He didn’t dare to hope that the curse could be broken and after so many years he was demoralized and resigned. Not even desperate, just done with the world and the curse. Well, and then Harper came along and gave him hope. I really liked that he always did what was best for his people and it’s no surprise Grey was so loyal to him. What Karis Luran told him at the end was quite a revelation though and I’m more than just ready to find out if it’s true. XD

”My lady, please – please know I meant you no harm. I meant your family no harm. I have tried everything I can think of to break this curse. I have tried to destroy myself. I would undo it if I could. I promise you.”

”This was my father’s kingdom,” he says. “This is now my kingdom. I may not be able to save myself – but I may be able to save my people.”

Grey:

Grey sights and gather up the cards. “You asked how I got her to play with me. As if there were some trick to it.” He wraps up the stack. “My lord, I did nothing. I sat down and asked.”

Ahhh my precious Grey! I haven’t been as enamoured by a side-character ever since I read ACOTAR and this says quite something! Lucien was/is so intriguing and Grey is too! XD For me he was legit the best thing about this book and I can’t wait to read “A Heart so Fierce and Broken” because I’ll finally get his POV! I loved that he was such a complex character yet at the same time he was so easy to be around. He took everything in stride and his loyalty to Rhen and Harper was amazing. ❤ This said I think that he suffered at least as much from the curse as Rhen did because he is a good person and to stand aside while Rhen was tortured by Lilith must have been pure hell for him. He’s compassionate and kind and he has some special brand of dark humour that was especially endearing. (at least for me it was. *lol*) In short: He’s an angel and an honourable soul and I really hope that he won’t suffer even more in the next book. I hate that Lilith and Karis Luran drove a wedge between him and Rhen and I really hope they’ll be able to talk things out in book two. >_<

”If His Highness allowed it, I would take her provocation by tenfold. I would fight her until I had no breath left to breathe.” His voice turns almost lethal, and in the dim light of the hallway, Grey’s eyes seem to darken. “My duty is to bleed so he does not. And now,” he says, “my duty is to bleed so you do not.”

”I speak too freely. This cursed drink has bewitched my thoughts.”

3

Harper & Rhen:

”Rhen,” she calls after me.
I pause in the doorway and face her.
“I’m not going to fall in love with you,” she says.
Her words are not a surprise. I sigh. “You won’t be the first.”

Mhmm… I know they are the two MCs that were supposed to fall in love but I didn’t really feel their relationship. If anything it was more some sort of friendship that formed between them and even though they were attracted to each other I never had the feeling that they were I dunno, head over heels? Truly, madly, deeply? *lol* But then again this was the same problem I had with ACOTAR. Only attraction just isn’t working for me and considering that they apparently fell in love by the end of the book their relationship was actually pretty chaste. I think the most outrageous thing they did was hold hands and brush lips. XD What a scandal! *lol* Sorry, my sarcasm is surfacing. ;-P I think what it comes down to, is that I missed the passion between those two. But maybe I’ll get more of it in the next book? *shrugs* One thing is for certain though, for the main MC couple their love story was pretty lukewarm and probably the only thing I didn’t like about the book. Let’s hope I’ll be persuaded and swept of my feet by them in the next instalment.

She studies me. “I never know when to trust you. Everything always sounds so calculated.”
I jerk back, stung.
“Until you said all that.”

”What will you offer to stop it? What will you offer for passage home?”
“Anything.” She draws a hitching breath. “God, Rhen. Any –“
“No!” My voice is sharp, and she jumps. I put a finger over her lips. “Never offer blindly, my lady. Not for your family. Not even for yourself. Certainly not for me.”

”I want so desperately to turn it into more, to see where this blossoming attraction will lead. But I have come close before. I have found this moment before. The only difference is that I have never wanted it so badly. I draw back, then press my lips to her forehead.
“I want to know it’s real, too,” I say.

”I’m sorry,” Harper whispers. “I’m sorry I didn’t break the curse.”
I lift a hand to brush the tears off her cheeks. Oh, Harper. I wish she had. Not because of the curse, or because of Karis Luran, or because of Emberfall.
Because I have fallen in love with her.”

Harper & Grey:

”I’m finding that Grey has a dark sense of humor hidden under the formality. It’s subversive. I like it.”

Haha! I really liked those two! And yes, in my opinion they had more chemistry than Harper and Rhen. Might have been due to Grey’s intensity though. *lol* Either way I enjoyed their friendship and it was such a natural thing. Like they were just honest with each other and appreciated each other’s company. Nothing about them was complicated and it was the easiness and their companionship that made their scenes together so nice to read. =) Also that scene at the inn! *lol* I loved that Grey just followed Harpers order and how surprised she was at what he did. Haha! One of the best scenes in the entire book. XD I’m not sure I like the insinuation of Grey being romantically interested in Harper though. For me they had nothing but a great friendship and that conversation between Grey and Rhen when they drank together didn’t sit well with me. It came out of nowhere and sure Harper is great but we all know she’s Rhen’s love interest so why insinuate a love triangle that will lead nowhere? Just for the sake of it? Nope. Not buying it. They will be friends and that’s it. ;-P

I look at Grey, remembering how he made faces at the children in the snow. “You’re good with kids,” I say. “That’s like the most … incongruous thing about you.”
“Is it?” he says, his voice dry. “Truly, my lady?”

I hold his gaze and refuse to look away. “Commander Grey. Prove how serious I am.”
Grey’s hand flicks out. The man shouts and drops to the ground. The hilt of a knife protrudes from his knee. Whoa. I have no idea what I expected him to do, but that’s even better.

Harper & Jake:

”You think I’m going to sit upstairs eating cake with Noah while you’re out risking your life?” he snaps. “Quit staring at me. I’m coming with you.”

Harper and Jake gave me all the sibling vibes! ❤ I loved their relationship and that they were so close. We might have only gotten them together near the end of the book but the few scenes they had were really wholesome and typical for siblings. The bickering, the conversations, the wish to take care of each other, their protectiveness, it was on point. Also I kind of liked that Jake had a bf and that no one was bothered by this. *lol* In fact Grey’s reaction was hilarious! The healer’s concubine. I’m still not over it. XD I can’t help but wonder what they’ll do now that they are stuck in Emberfall though. Harper was always supposed to end up with Rhen, but her brother and Noah came there by accident and I’m curious if they’ll stay in Emberfall or if Grey will return them to DC one day. Guess I’ll have to find out by continuing with the series. 😉

”No,” says Jake, speaking for the first time in a while. “Harper, you didn’t do this.”
“But I could have stopped it. I couldn’t get out of my own way –“
“No,” he snaps. “And damn it, for once would you listen to me? You didn’t curse him. You didn’t bring yourself here.” He takes a long breath. “You didn’t – you didn’t give Mom cancer. You didn’t force Dad to borrow money from the wrong people –“
“You didn’t, either,” I say to him. “But you still went to work for Lawrence.”
“I did what I had to do,” he says. “To give Mom time. To protect you.”
“Me too,” I say.

Then he smiles, a shadow of the old Jake, before life clobbered us all. “Mom would be really proud of you, Princess Harper.” He kisses me on the forehead, then heads back through the doors into the castle.

Lilith & Rhen:

„I cannot wait to see how your monster manifests this season,” she says. “Perhaps I will keep you on a chain and put you on display for my enemies.”
A sudden chill grips my spine. This is an outcome I have never considered.
“Would you like that?” she says, moving closer again. “Mine for all eternity, Prince Rhen?”

I rarely witnessed such an abusive relationship in a book and whilst Harper’s and Rhen’s relationship was super chaste the same couldn’t be said about Lilith and Rhen. That woman tortured him in every way possible, manipulated him, enslaved him, sexually and emotionally abused him, humiliated him and did everything in her power to make him submissive. >_< I felt so sorry for Rhen and it’s no wonder he gave up hope and was broken. Seriously, Lilith’s relationship with Rhen was such a harsh contrast to his relationship with Harper and the differences couldn’t have been even more pronounced. Which was most likely Brigid Kemmerer’s intention. An abusive relationship vs. a wholesome one. Still, I hated Lilith for what she did to Rhen and Grey and I really hope Grey managed to end her. Hopefully she won’t appear in the next book. Good riddance!

”Humiliation burns my eyes, my throat. When she breaks the kiss, relief nearly breaks me. I want to shove her away, but I am pinned to the wall. My breathing is rough and ragged. I cannot look at her. I can barely move. My hands are still in fists, my muscles so tense I am trembling. And hope that bloomed in my chest has now withered and died.”

Rhen & Grey:

”Are you prepared to die, Grey?” I demand. “Because that is all that exists at the end of this path. I am sure of it. This was never a curse to be broken. This is a death sentence. The true curse has been the thought that we might find escape.”

What they both endured and what they went through together… I think it’s safe to say that they aren’t just friends but actually brothers. (no pun intended, I swear. *lol*) They tried to keep it professional for so long but the longer the season proceeded the more they gave up on their formality. And I think that was good the way it was. After so many seasons it was about time they admitted that they are friends. You can’t survive things like they did without forging a bond and theirs is strong. I’m confident that whatever Karis Luran and Lilith threw their way … they’ll overcome it in the next book. They have too much history together and I believe in them. Grey might think he won’t be welcome at Emberfall but we all know that Rhen misses him sorely! So there’s that! I really hope they’ll meet in “A Heart so Fierce and Broken” and that they’ll finally be able to have the friendship they were supposed to have all along. =)

”I do speak freely, my lord.”
His loyalty should inspire me. It does not. I have done nothing to earn it. I find that I regret his oath.
“Leave me,” I say.
The door whispers shut. Grey has always been good at following orders. And for the first time, I wish he wasn’t.

”Your first order was to seal the borders. You sent word to each city to govern from within.”
I do not understand how he can speak of my failures as if they are victories. “It was all I could do.”
“You asked why I keep my oath. In that moment, I never meant it more.”
“I do not deserve your loyalty, Grey.”
“Deserved or not, you have it.“

”You are incorrigible. I have no idea how I put up with you for so long.”
I raise an eyebrow, more amused than anything else. “Is that the drink talking?”
The shadow of a wicked smile finds his lips. “You told me to speak my mind.”

4

“A Curse So Dark and Lonely” definitely lived up to its title. Some scenes were truly dark and I felt really sorry for the lonely MCs! XD In this case I’ve to admit that I loved the side-character more than the MCs though. Grey just stole them both the show and I was quite fine with that. ;-P Still, for another TBATB retelling this was as good as they come and I can’t wait to get my hands on the second book. I’ve been told there will be Grey’s POV so I’m already pumped! *lol*

Allgemein, P - T, Reviews, T

Review: The Wicked King (Holly Black)

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Rating: 5 Pfoten

Book 9 on My Book List 2020

”The three of you have one solution to every problem. Murder. No key fits every lock.” Cardan gives us all a stern look, holding up a long-fingered hand with my stolen ruby ring still on one finger. “Someone tries to betray the High King, murder. Someone gives you a harsh look, murder. Someone disrespects you, murder. Someone ruins your laundry, murder.”

I wish I could disagree with Cardan but he’s right! *lol* All this book is about are intrigues, machinations, power games and murder and tell you what? I’m so here for it! Like SO here for it! XD Holly Black knows how to write her faeries and I’ll never get tired of her books. There’s just something about them that keeps me on my toes and forces me to be on my guard. ;-P It’s rare to find this is a book and I appreciate her even more for it.

This said, I’ve to admit that for some people this book might seem to be pretty slow. There is a lot of build-up and it takes a while until the storyline gets into motion. Or rather it’s set into motion right at the start of the book but it kind of trickles in the background. You know something is brewing but you can’t put your finger on it and the more the story unfolds the more you get that feeling of uneasiness. The feeling that something is wrong and the awareness that you’re missing something crucial. 😉

I think this made for a super intriguing atmosphere and my urge to continue to read fought a constant battle against the connoisseur within me that wanted nothing more than to savour this book. XD Especially the Jude/Cardan scenes almost caused me to throw all caution to the wind. *lol* I didn’t give into the temptation though and considering THAT ending I’m glad I took my time to analyse every single sentence. I have theories! A BUNCH of them and I’ll make sure to go into detail in my characters section. 😉

2

Take my hand and follow me,
To the land of faerie,
Where I will spoiler thee.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you in advance,
Come enjoy the revel and let us dance.
You and I, we shall have some fun,
And if you’re scared,
Well, now is your last chance to run! ;-P

Jude:

”Watching his fear ripen fills me with an almost voluptuous satisfaction. I, who have had little power in my life, must be on guard against that feeling. Power goes to my head too quickly, like faerie wine.”

Jude Duarte is one of those characters I can’t help but adore. I love this girl so much! She’s cunning and intelligent which is always a dangerous combination, but she’s also compassionate and even though she tries to hide it, it always shows. Like for instance when she tried to prepare Heather for what would happen in Faerie. Still, Jude has become a force to be reckoned with and I’m in awe of all the strings she pulled. She’s become a formidable faerie which is probably the biggest compliment you can pay her and by running an entire kingdom in the background she’s grown as well. It’s not about gaining power anymore but about holding it (like Madoc pointed out so nicely) and considering it all she’s doing a great job. Or she did until she got betrayed by the Ghost and was spirited away to the Sea. >_<  I couldn’t believe it went into this kind of direction and I think her month as a captive of queen Orlagh changed her profoundly. She was reminded of her limits and she was willing to play along in order to save herself. I guess in some way it made her realize that she’s still so very powerless when it comes to the machinations of the courts. And for our reckless Jude this must have been quite a damper. Cardan at her disposal or not, they could have killed her easily. I think what it will always come down to is that she craves the power to be her own master and as long as she hasn’t achieved that she won’t be able to rest. Speaking of which: OMG!!! That ending! She’s the Queen of Faerie now but no one knows and she’s exiled!!!! WTF??!!!  Jude better come back because I need a happy ending! T_T

”You want to know what I did to make him raise me up?” I ask, leaning toward her, close enough that she can feel the warmth of my breath. “I kissed him on the mouth, and then I threatened to kiss him some more if he didn’t do exactly what I wanted.”

”I hate the way I cling to him, the nails of one hand digging into his back, my thoughts splintering, and the single last thing in my head: that I like him better than I’ve ever liked anyone and that of all the things he’s ever done to me, making me like him so much is by far the worst.“

”Sometimes, when lying on the cold stone floor, I wonder if there’s a limit to what I will let them do, if there is something that would make me fight back, even if it dooms me.
If there is, that makes me a fool.
But maybe if there isn’t, that makes me a monster.”

”I imagine what it would be like to have my own crown, my own power. Maybe I wouldn’t have to be afraid to love him. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe I wouldn’t have to be scared of all the things I’ve been scared of my whole life, of being diminished and weak and lesser. Maybe I would become a little bit of magic.”

Cardan:

Cardan leans forward as though they are sharing a jest. “Oh, tell me the rest. I like tricks and snares. Even ones I was nearly caught in.”

Okay, Cardan lounging on his throne is my new aesthetic! XD Also that one earring dangling from his ear! Ahh, did anyone else imagine him as the 8th member of BTS? *LOL* Anyway! Let’s talk about my precious boy who became more and more intriguing! I never thought I could be even more obsessed or besotted with him but “The Wicked King” certainly proved me wrong. I love this new calculating Cardan and I was kind of happy to see that he grew into his power. He played them all! And he did it masterly! Every gesture, every move he made, and every single word that left his lips, it was calculated and deliberate. The sings were all there and they became even more pronounced after Jude returned from the Sea. The way he commanded the situation with Queen Orlagh was amazing and it was really surprising to see how clever and skilled he is. I could see it from miles away but what truly gave his game away was the moment when he held council about how to proceed with Queen Orlagh. Cardan acting reasonable and making sense was such a dead giveaway. *lol* I can’t wait to see what he’s going to do now but I’m also kind of worried about him. Without Jude by his side things will get even trickier. >_<

”When he becomes drunk, his subjects become tipsy without knowing why. When his blood falls, things grow. Why, High Queen Mab called Insmire, Insmoor, and Insweal from the sea. All the isles of Elfhame, formed in a single hour.”

”Now, Queen of the Undersea, we will have a truce as you had with Eldred, as you had with Mab. We will have a truce or we will have a war, and if we fight, I will be unsparing. Nothing and no one you love will be safe.”

”When my father sent me away, at first I tried to prove that I was nothing like he thought me. But when that didn’t work, I tried to be exactly what he believed I was instead. If he thought I was bad, I would be worse. If he thought I was cruel, I would be horrifying. I would live down to his every expectation. If I couldn’t have his favor, then I would have his wrath.”

”I wasn’t kind, Jude. Not to many people. Not to you. I wasn’t sure if I wanted you or if I wanted you gone from my sight so that I would stop feeling as I did, which made me even more unkind. But when you were gone – truly gone beneath the waves – I hated myself as I never have before.”

Cardan shakes his head and drinks another cup of tea. “We show her that I am no feckless High King.”
“And how do we do that?” I ask.
“With great difficulty,” he says. “Since I fear she is right.”

Vivi:

”Revenge is sweet, but ice cream is sweeter.” She goes to the freezer and removes a tub of mint chocolate chip. She brings that and two spoons back to the sofa. “For now, accept this delight, unworthy though it is for the Queen of Faerie in exile.”

I can’t believe Vivi truly thought that Heather would come out of Faerie unscathed and I really disliked her for her actions. At first she didn’t tell her the truth and then she added insult to injury by glamouring her after things went downhill. No wonder Heather moved out of their apartment. If someone would have done the same to me I would have moved out as well. I think Jude was right with everything she said about Vivi not being able to understand what it means to be a human in Faerie. She’s a faerie and she never seemed to care all too much about Taryn and Jude’s struggles. So I don’t know if Heather will come back again but if Vivi wants her back she’ll have to do so much better than she did before.

3

Jude & Cardan:

”I wondered if it wasn’t you shooting bolts at me.”
I make a face at him. “And what made you decide I wasn’t?”
He grins up at me. “They missed.”

ADKASDLFKAsDJFASKDFJASDFLKASJDFAKLSDFJASLKDFJSDfH!!! Okay, sorry, but that just needed to get out! *lol* Now I feel better and can write about it! XD So first things first: I love them! Their love-hate relationship is legit one of the best things about this series and I ship them so hard it almost kills me to read their scenes! <333 Their chemistry is off the charts and I just can’t get enough of them. This said: I guess in some way Cardan finally got his revenge for Jude forcing him on the throne. *lol* Well, he certainly did a number on her by exiling her from Faerie! I don’t think it was about revenge though. I don’t even think it was about power. I’m sure he had completely different motives so hear me out and let me explain! I DO believe that he meant every single word he said before he married her and he wasn’t lying because faeries can’t lie. So I think his main reason to exile her was to keep her safe. When she was abducted and imprisoned in the Sea he realized how much he truly loves her and that changed everything. She’s his weakness, the only thing that could be able to hurt him and he’s not holding on to power for himself but for her sake. I mean he trusted her so much that he gave Taryn what she wanted because he thought it was her. His love and trust for Jude will be his downfall and it was the reason why he exiled her even though he loves her. So he tricked her out of her hold over him and now he’s free to do what needs to be done in order to protect her. Which was a pretty clever move on his part. Still, I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY MARRIED AND THAT JUDE IS THE QUEEN OF FAERIE NOW!!! OMG! That totally caught me by surprise and I was speechless! *lol* So whatever happens between those two in the final book, I’m so ready to read it! <333 Give me all that love and hate, because apparently it’s both in their case. ;-P

Cardan steps close to me, his gaze devouring. I am not sure I can bear his cutting me down again. Luckily, he seems at a loss for words.
”I hate you,” I whisper before he can speak.
He tilts my face to his.
“Say it again,” he says as the imps comb my hair and place the ugly stinking crown on my head.

”You believe I planned your humiliation?” He laughs. “Me? That sounds like work.”
“I don’t care if you did or not,” I tell him, too angry to make sense of my feelings. “I just care that you enjoyed it.”
“And why shouldn’t I delight to see you squirm? You tricked me,” Cardan says. “You played me for a fool, and now I am the King of Fools.”

He shucks his cuffed white shirt over his head in a single elegant gesture, revealing bare skin and scars. My hands are shaking. He captures them and kisses my knuckles with a kind of reverence.
“I want to tell you so many lies,” he says.

”But how did she make you agree?” I demand. “She has no power. She could pretend to be me, but she couldn’t force you –“
He puts his head in his long-fingered hands. “She didn’t have to command me, Jude. She didn’t have to use any magic. I trust you. I trusted you.”

”Faerie suffered with us at each other’s throats. You attempted to make me do what you thought needed to be done, and if we disagreed, we could do nothing but manipulate each other. That wasn’t working, but simply giving in is no solution. We cannot continue like this. Tonight is proof of that. I need to make my own decisions.”

Taryn & Locke:

”But you know me too well to bother.” She shakes her head. “When I’m with him, I feel like the hero of a story. Of my story. It’s when he’s not there that things don’t feel right.”

I said it once and I’ll say it again: Those two were conspicuously inconspicuous in. I always waited for their involvement but they made sure to act in the background and not to show their true motives. To be honest I didn’t expect anything different. I knew sooner or later they’d make their move and I was right! XD The way Taryn betrayed her sister. Just WOW! I’m curious if we’ll see more of them in the next book because I kind of missed Locke’s machinations. Yes, he made Jude the Queen of Mirth but that was about everything he did (aside from trying to get her killed) and it certainly wasn’t enough. He can do better than that and I really hope I’ll get more of the cunning fox in the next book.

”I am done with being polite. We’re not going to play word games or make up riddles. Humiliating the High King is a bad idea. Humiliating me is a terrible idea. Running around my sister is just dumb. Maybe you thought I was too busy to take my revenge? Well, Locke, I want you to understand that for you, I will make time.”
His face pales. He’s obviously not sure what to make of me right now.

Nicasia & Cardan:

”Would you marry me, then? Tie the sea to the land and bind us together in misery?” Cardan gazes at her with all the scorn he once reserved for me. It feels as though the world has been turned upside down. But Nicasia does not back down. Instead, she takes a step closer.
“We would be legends,” she tells him. “Legends need not concern themselves with something as small as happiness.”

As it seems Nicasia is still in love with Cardan, but unfortunately (or fortunately, always depends on your POV) he doesn’t seem to reciprocate her feelings. I guess her try to force him into a marriage only made him dislike her even more and those two definitely won’t become a couple anytime soon. That horse is definitely out of the barn. *lol* I think Cardan wants love and the fact he chose Jude tells us everything we need to know. So I’m sorry Nicasia, but you’ve lost the game. 😉 #SorryNotSorry

Jude & Madoc:

”You don’t believe that I could care about you, even after you betrayed me?” He watches me with his cat eyes. “I’m still your father.”
“You’re my father’s murderer,” I blurt out.
“I can be both,” Madoc says, smiling, showing those teeth.

I know this might sound weird but I’m still down for this twisted father-daughter relationship! *lol* They have such an interesting dynamic and the fact they both seem to care about each other yet still don’t give each other an inch is just awesome. When an opportunity arises it is seized no matter the consequences or what kind of repercussion it might entail for the other.  They obviously respect each other though so I wonder if there actually might be a happy ending for those two. As opaque as Madoc is, the genuinely seems to care about Jude and I’m pretty sure she considers him to be her father too, no matter what she tells him. XD Ahh I like them. Guess we’ll find out what will happen in “The Queen of Nothing”.

”I’ve been glamoured and carried into a revel, weeping and alone. As far as I can tell, the only difference between tonight and all the other nights when I endured indignities without complaint is that those benefited you, and when I endure this, it benefits me.”
Madoc looks shaken. “I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t want to know,” I return.

”Does he know?” Madoc asks, grinning in a slightly terrifying yet paternal fashion. “Does our High King have any idea how good you are at running his kingdom for him?”
“Keep hoping he doesn’t,” I say, trying for a breezy confidence that I don’t feel when it comes to anything to do with Cardan or our arrangement.

”Power is much easier to acquire than it is to hold on to.”

”Orlag and the Undersea we will vanquish together. But when they are gone, it will be us staring across a chessboard at each other. And when I best you, I will make sure I do it as thoroughly as I would any opponent who has shown themselves to be my equal.”

4

This was perfection and I enjoyed “The Wicked King” even more than I thought I would, which is no easy thing to accomplish! I lived and breathed for all the backstabbing and cunning in this book and I can’t wait to see what will happen in the next one. Considering all the scheming and plot twists we witnessed in here (oh what a pleasure!) I’m pretty certain Holly Black will have no mercy in the final book as well! I’m ready, Holly! Destroy me! 😉

A - E, Allgemein, E, Reviews

Review: Empire of Storms (Sarah J. Maas)

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Rating: 4 Pfoten

”The world,” Aelin said, “will be saved and remade by the dreamers, Rolfe.”

So, it took me ages to start writing this review and truth be told I’m still not sure if I’m ready to do it. This book was the equivalent of a wild roller coaster, just with the minor and rather distinctive difference that there actually was no brake in the end. It felt like an amazing ride up until the moment the brakes failed and the entire waggon tumbled into nothingness!
And if you already think that my description is messed up: YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!! *lol* Because to read this book and especially the ending is even worse than any allegory I could come up with!! XD

I mean it! I’m still SO DAMN SHOOK and it will take me ages to recover from that book! Still, I really loved “Empire of Storms” and even though the ending killed me and left my mind reeling and my heart bleeding I probably enjoyed this way too much. Sarah can write and she proved it once again with an amazing book that left me gasping and wanting for more.

This time around not everything was sunny and nice though. There were some things I didn’t like because they were idk… just weird. *lol* I mean I get why love played a huge role in EoS and believe me when I say that I loved all the ships that developed throughout the series, in this fifth book some of the relationships seemed to be kind of dissonant though. Or should I rather say the timing for those relationships to develop was sort of improper?!

Or to put it even more bluntly: It’s abnormal how much time they spent with making love when the entire world around them is in chaos and war! *lol* Especially Aelin and Rowan. XD Just saying! Haha! You’d think they’d have more important matters on their mind but nope. Apparently horny fae males can do it everywhere. *lol* Ooops, did I just say that?! Young kids under 13 you forget that you ever read this, okay?! *smiles innocently*

So where were we? Oh yes, inappropriate timing and love. You all know me and know that I’m a sucker for things like that but this time around it all felt kind of forced. Like Sarah realized that this is the last book she can use to form proper ships and decided to do them all in one go! Don’t get me wrong, I loved those ships and I drooled over rooted for them with every fibre of my heart. Sometimes I just thought that it was happening way too fast and didn’t fit into the overall plot. That’s just my opinion though so don’t let this keep you from enjoying the book. =) It’s definitely worth reading!!! <333

1

”Morath is unleashing its horrors,” Lysandra said. “Maeve stirs across the sea. Two goddesses walk hand in hand with Aelin. More than that, Mala and Deanna have watched over her the entirety of her life. But perhaps it wasn’t watching. Perhaps it was … shaping. So they might one day unleash her, too. And I wonder if the gods have weighed the costs of that storm. And deemed the casualties worth it.”

2

I didn’t do one of my spoilery spoiler sections for quite a while so to all of you who just started to read my reviews: This is the part where I spoil the hell out of the book, everything I write about the characters is uncensored and pretty direct. So if you didn’t read the book and plan to do it: Don’t continue to read my review! This is a fair warning, you better don’t ignore it. I assume no liability. ;-P

Aelin:

”She looked over her shoulder. “To call in old debts and promises. To raise an army of assassins and thieves and exiles and commoners. To finish what was started long, long ago.”

OH GOSH!!! AELIN!!! That wonderful, stupid, brilliant and fire breathing bitch!!! I can’t even!! I don’t know where to start! I mean ARGH!!! I hated her so much for some of her actions!! I was angry because she didn’t tell anyone about her plans, because she was so egoistic and ordered them all around! I hated the way she treated Aedion and what she asked Lysandra to do and throughout the entire book I didn’t know whether I wanted to strangle or kiss her! Talk about A LOT of mixed feelings! *lol* But that ending?!! Oh gods! That ending was so heart-breaking! It all made perfect sense, all her scheming, plotting, lying and hiding things. Boy, did it hurt to read those last 50 pages… I don’t even want to know what is going to happen in the last book, it definitely won’t be pleasant for Aeling though. Poor girl, poor, poor, poor girl! *sobs* T_T

”I’m sorry,” Aelin said, shoulders curving inward, head dropping low as the tears slid down her flushed cheeks. “I’m so sorry.” How many years had those words been locked up?

Rowan:

”Even if Maeve had kept me enslaved, I would have fought her. Every day, every hour, every breath.”

I definitely liked Rowan in this one! After my slight disappointment of his portrayal in “Queen of Shadows” it seems like he found his way back to being an individual. I guess it might have helped that him and Aelin weren’t always together in Eos and this kind of gave him the opportunity to shine as the fierce fae warrior that he is. XD I’d have hated him to become just an accessory for Aelin because he’s actually a pretty cool character and I know that he can stand his ground. Yes, they love each other but that doesn’t mean he has to lose himself and everything that makes him him. So, yes, I admit it, I’m glad Sarah managed to get her act together. *lol*

”Sometimes I wish I knew every thought in that head, each scheme and plot. Then I remember how much it delights me when you reveal it – usually when it’s most likely to make my heart stop dead in my chest.”

Aedion:

”The fear of loss … it can destroy you as much as the loss itself.”

Mhmm… Aedion my precious bisexual Cupcake! *lol* I still love him so much and I still think he deserves the world and this even though he did a lot of stupid things I didn’t agree with! For instance treating Dorian like shit! I mean WTH?! Then again with a person like Aelin whose actions were always like some sort of punch it’s actually no wonder that he was always so grumpy! (Not to mention the thing with his father!!!) He would have deserved her trust and he didn’t get it, so I can’t blame him for being pissed. XD Especially after finding out about Aelin’s plans with Lysandra. Urgh! Still, given some time and a verbal slap from Lysandra he always realized his faults and tried to correct them as good as possible! He has the ability to listen to people and I think this is worth a lot! XD (Especially if you know Aelin… *lol*)

”He couldn’t explain why, but he wanted her there. She got under his skin so damn easily, but … Lysandra steadied him. Perhaps because she was something new. Something he had not encountered, had not filled with hope and pain and wishes. Not too many of them, at least.”

Lysandra:

”He was enslaved; he was tortured for months. Not just by his father, but by that thing inside of him. He was violated, and even if you cannot draw up forgiveness for stabbing Aelin against his own will, then try to have some compassion for that.”

Lysandra, the voice of reason! <333 I swear sometimes it felt like she was the only level-headed person in Aelin’s entire court! I loved that she talked back to the guys and didn’t even bother to be nice about it. I just love her! She’s one hell of a woman and I swear if she doesn’t accept Aedion at her side I’ll try my luck with her! *lol* (and with Manon but that’s another matter. XD) Lysandra was just amazing in this book and the way she fought? Boy, that woman is brave and fierce! Some of the best fighting scenes were with Lysandra and that’s just awesome! Finally a woman that truly knows how to kick people’s asses! Physically and verbally of course! *lol* <333 Gosh, what a woman! *shakes head and sighs deeply*

”I never had friends – not as I do now. And today on that beach, when I saw that fleet and thought it belonged to our enemy … For a moment, I wished I’d never met any of you. Because the thought of any of you …” She sucked in a breath. “How do you do it? How have you learned to enter a battlefield with your Bane and not fall apart with the terror that not all of you might walk off it?” Lysandra

Manon:

”Her grandmother’s creature – that’s what Manon was. It had never seemed like a hateful thing.”

I am so proud of Manon!!! I can’t even! She finally decided to follow her heart and even though it cost her dearly I’m still so damn happy that she chose HER path! I always suspected that there was more to her and when I found out that she is the last Crochan Queen my jaw kind of dropped to the floor! OMG! What a mean twist of fate. Poor girl, she was so confused, wounded and alone but she still didn’t give into her despair and I loved her for it! This woman is MADE (figuratively and literally speaking) of iron and I just can’t get enough of her. I LOVE. HER. SO. MUCH!!! <333 #WatchManonAndMeAsWeRideIntoTheSunset, #P.SWe’reTakingDorianWithUsToo ;-P

”And Manon understood in that moment that there were forces greater than obedience, and discipline, and brutality. Understood that she had not been born soulless; she had not been born without a heart. For there were both, begging her not to swing that blade.”

Dorian:

”The man fighting inside his father had kept the blow from being fatal. Dorian had possessed no such control, no such strength, when he watched the demon use his own body – when the demon had tortured and killed and taken what it wanted. Maybe his father had been the stronger man in the end. The better man.”

DORIAN!!! I’ll never get tired of loving this man!! Of all the guys that are part of this series he’s still my favourite and number one! Dorian is my precious cinnamon roll and nothing will change that! With every book I just love him more and more and I can’t wait to read “Kingdom of Ashes” because I know he’ll be great! There’s a dangerous and sexy edge to him now and boy, I’m living for it!!! <333 The only thing that worries me is that according to Elena it’s either Aelin or Dorian who has the strength to kill the Valg, because if that means one of them has to die in the end I’m going to be so pissed. Especially if it’s Dorian which is pretty likely since he has the keys now and is trying to finish what Aelin couldn’t. I mean damn! I swear if Dorian dies I’m going to cry for days. T_T He doesn’t deserve to die but Sarah always has her whipping boys (I’m still waiting for a happy end for Lucien!!! Dammit!!!) and I’m so afraid that Dorian will have to die in the end. =((( Please Sarah, don’t do it!!! Please!!! *sobs* #TeamDorian forever and for always

”I have seen death, and worse,” he said, those sapphire eyes frozen as he surveyed her from head to armored boot-tip and back again. “The death you’d offer is kind compared to that.”

Elide:

”Why?” And with all of Lorcan’s considerable focus honed in on her, with the way he’d glanced at her red-painted mouth, Elide wanted to tell him. About the tower, and Vernon, and her parents. About why, if she were to ever feel desire, it’d be a result of trusting someone so much that those horrors faded away, a result of knowing they would fight tooth and claw to keep her free and never lock her up or hurt her or leave her.

I finally got more of Elide and I have to say that I enjoyed every second of her POV. She’s such a clever, calculating and cunning woman! (The three C’s I love the most! *lol*) And I loved the moment she acted like Manon and actually managed to get rid of the Ilken! I mean how cool was that? This girl knows how to survive and I couldn’t help but love her for her strength. Still, I’m sorry for everything she had to go through and I really hope that she’ll find peace once the war is over. Deep down inside her she’s really broken and even though she and Lorcan are on bad terms right now I’m still pretty sure that he can give her what she craves the most. *sigh* Poor girl. =(

”Storms mean looking for shelter,” she murmured. “Shelter means being stuck inside with nothing to do but gossip. Gossip means news from merchants and sailors about the rest of the land.” Those eyes cut to him, dry humor dancing there. “That is what thunder means.”

Erawan & Maeve:

Those golden eyes simmered like hot coals. “Because destroying a symbol can break the spirits of men as much as bloodshed.”

I HATE THAT EVIL WITCH!!! If I’d have my way, I’d let her rot in hell! Next to Erawan of course! Gosh, I hate those two so much! They are horrible people and despicable and urgh I just want them to vanish! Someone has to stop them and they need to do it fast!! >_<

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Manon & Dorian:

She’d forgotten how much taller he was. Face-to-face, Dorian panted as he stared down at her and breathed, “Hello, witchling.”
Some ancient, predatory part of her awoke at the half smile. It sat up, cocking its ears toward him. Not a whiff of fear. Interesting. Manon purred back, “Hello, princeling.”

THIS SHIP IS MY OTP!!! Forget Aelin and Rowan! Dorian and Manon are the real deal! I love them soo much and I couldn’t get enough of them. Their conversations were so awesome and I loved the fact that they were equal. They treated each other like equals and there were no discussions or arguments! They know what they are capable of and they are so honest it hurts! *lol* Also can we appreciate the tension between those two! GOSH! It almost killed me! They are such a power couple and even though their relationship seems to be more rough than those of the other couples they are still gentle with each other. <333 There is respect, there is love, there is a mutual understanding about who they are! WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK FOR!? I LOVE THIS SHIP AND I’LL GO DOWN WITH IT! Period! ❤

”Not spared him. Rescued him.
He wasn’t a fool. He knew she’d done it for whatever reasons were useful to her. She was so alien to him as the warrior sitting at the other end of the boat – more so. And yet, that darkness, that violence and stark, honest way of looking at the world… There would be no secrets with her. No lies.”

”You could have made her suffer – you went for a clean blow instead. Why?”
“Because even with our enemies, there’s a line.”
“Then you have your answer.”
“I didn’t ask a question.”
Manon snorted. “You’ve had that look in your eyes all night – if you’re becoming a monster like the rest of us. The next time you kill, remind yourself of that line.”

Rowan & Dorian:

Rowan considered for a moment, and then said,” I have known many kings in my life, Dorian Havilliard. And it was a rare man indeed who asked for help when he needed it, who would put aside pride.”

This is legit the best bromance of this entire series! I adore their friendship so much! They understand each other and Rowan knows exactly how Dorian feels! Plus I love that he doesn’t underestimate him and that he trusts him to make the right decisions! And they seem to have similar powers, which is great because Rowan was able to help my precious boy to learn how to control his abilities! ❤ I really hope that friendship will last! =)

”Rowan knew most underestimated the sharp intelligence under that disarming smile. Knew that Dorian’s value wasn’t his godlike magic, but his mind.”

Lysandra & Aedion:

Aedion grinned. “Good to know I’m finally getting under your skin. Or is it skins?”
That staggeringly beautiful face turned positively wicked. “Careful, Aedion. I bite.”

They are definitely my second OTP! *lol* I still love their easy banter and I was so glad that this ship started to sail somehow! XD And let’s face it: Aedion telling Lysandra that he’s going to marry her was really one hell of an awesome scene! <333 I loved it! Those two can be so peaceful together, it warms my heart. They are both so fierce and loyal but they can be really tender and sweet as well. They are just perfect for each other… *sighs* And they are a slow burning ship which was a really nice change! Still, I want a kiss in “Kingdom of Ash” or even a hot sex scene. *lol* Yes, you read right, I have no doubt that with those two it will be as much fun as with Dorian and Manon! Haha! ;-P

”He hated Aelin for asking this of Lysandra, both to defend them and to secure the Mycenians to fight for Terrasen. Hated the people who had left such scars on the shifter that Lysandra was so willing to throw her life away.”

”The ghost leopard sat beside him, tail twitching, and met his eyes for a moment before she laid her enormous head on his thigh. In silence they watched the stars flicker over the calm waves, Lysandra nuzzling her head against his hip.”

Aelin & Rowan:

”This was what drove her out of her mind – this fire between them. They could burn the entire world to ashes with it. He was hers and she was his, and they had found each other across centuries of bloodshed and loss, across oceans and kingdoms and war.”

Is it just me or were they actually too much in this book? Their relationship became so corny and perfect that it was more than just a little unrealistic. I noticed this in ACOTAR and I’m seeing it here too, it’s just too perfect. They are so perfect together, that they lose their ability to shine as individuals and call me crazy but I really dislike that in books. The love of Aelin and Rowan is just so all-consuming it leaves no room for other things. And it’s come to a point where it’s so kitschy that I almost puked because of the constant sweetness overload. I know many people love them and they are their OTP but seriously, for me they lacked zest. Rowan loves Aelin no matter what she does and that just feels wrong. In a real relationship you argue, you scream and this even though or especially BECAUSE you love each other. 😉 Those two? Nothing. It’s just my opinion though so if you feel differently that’s okay as well. =))

”I love you. There is no limit to what I can give you, no time I need. Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you.”

Elide & Lorcan:

”I made a promise to protect you. I will not break it, Elide.”
She made to pull away, but he gripped her a little harder, keeping her eyes on him.
“I will always find you,” he swore to her. Her throat bobbed. Lorcan whispered, “I promise.”

What can I say? I always knew they’d become a couple. *lol* But I really don’t like how things came to an end between them. I mean he almost died for her but she is ignoring him now? Come on, give that boy a break! I know Elide feels bound to Aelin’s court but if she truly loves Lorcan they should find a way, right? Poor Lorcan, I only feel sorry for him right now and I think he deserves to be loved as much as Elide does. So please can you just get together again and give each other the love you deserve? *looks hopeful*

”Lorcan’s onyx eyes were unreadable as he scanned her face. And then he said quietly, “ I wanted to go to Perranth with you.”

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Considering it all I really enjoyed “Empire of Storms” and thanks to my precious Gem this was another wonderful buddy read! =) The only reason I’m giving this four stars is the simple fact that some things felt kind of forced and therefore left me wondering. *lol* It’s just my personal opinion though. Either way, EoS was still an amazing ride and I can’t wait to dive into “Tower of Dawn”. =)) Gem, are you ready for book 6?
Allgemein, Reviews, P - T, Q

Review: Queen of Shadows (Sarah J. Maas)

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Rating: 5 Pfoten

”When you shatter the chains of this world and forge the next, remember that art is as vital as food to a kingdom. Without it, a kingdom is nothing, and will be forgotten by time.”

If you read any of my updates I’m sure you’ll already know how I feel about this book. To say it was better than its predecessors would probably be the understatement of the century so all I’ll say is that Sarah once again surpassed herself. ❤

There were so many new characters that got introduced during the book and I’m not lying when I say that I loved them all. XD I think one of the most amazing things about Sarah’s books is that she has so many awesome and strong heroines! They do what they want to do, they are brave, they dare to dream, they dare to hope and they always make their way! It’s just so amazing to read! =)))

Of course not everything in “Queen of Shadows” is sunshine though and boy did it hit me with the feels sometimes! There were actually moments I was so frustrated that I felt like tearing the book apart (Don’t worry I did no such thing, I love my books too much to harm them. *lol*) and there were some chapters that killed me over and over again. I guess by now you all know which chapters I’m talking about. 😉

Well anyway, let’s not talk about the epic fights or the hopeful ending. WHAT a hopeful ending? YES!!! Jeez, I think this must be the first time I’m not destroyed after one of Sarah’s books. I’m actually h- … hopeful! I’m not licking my wounds or trying to deal with my emotions so knowing Sarah I have absolutely no doubt that she’s going to destroy me with “Empire of Storms”.

Ladies and Gentleman, this is the quiet before the storm and I’m so not ready for it! XD Which is probably the main reason I’m writing this review. I’m trying to stall for time. *lol* #SorryNotSorry

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Spoiler warning! My character section is so full of spoilers you won’t even have to read the book anymore. ;-P So if you still want to read this series and want to experience it all by yourself you better stop reading now! Don’t say I didn’t warn you! XD

Aelin:

”How can I take away somebody who means the world to someone else? Even if she’s my enemy.”

Boy, did I have mixed feelings about Aelin in this book! On the one hand I really loved her and could understand her decisions, but on the other hand all I wanted to do was to yell at her! *lol* I mean she sometimes really didn’t make it easy to like her in this book, knowing about her past and everything she’s been through I could see through her façade though. I mean it’s obvious she struggled with her new role as Queen and because of her insecurities and fears she sometimes made mistakes that got her into trouble. A crown is a heavy weight; I don’t blame her for not being perfect. Hell, I’m pretty sure I would have made plenty of mistakes as well. XD

”But now that she was here … everything was an effort not to say she was sorry. Sorry not for what she’d done to his face, but for the fact that her heart was healed – still fractured in spots, but healed – and he … he was not in it. Not as he’d once been.”

Chaol:

”Magic has saved your life a few times now, if I recall correctly.”
“Yes,” he breathed, “you and Dorian both – and I’m grateful, I am. But where are the checks against your kind? Iron? Not much of a deterrent, is it? Once magic is free, who is to stop the monsters from coming out again? Who is to stop you?”

And here is my second problem child! Chaol! Jeez, he said quite some nasty stuff! I mean I know where he’s coming from and I understand that he worries for his people and kingdom; I’m not okay with what he said about magic though. Before you go all like: “Oh don’t you dare to say anything against my baby!” now *raises eyebrow and looks at Gem and J.* I’ll tell you that despite all this I actually still love him. *lol* He did the best he could do and he’s just human. Of course he is afraid of magic and what it might do to his kingdom. I mean in spite of being the former captain of the king’s guard he’s still young. I’m sure he can’t even remember the world with magic and it’s no surprise he’s afraid of it. If he proved anything over those last 4 books then it is that he’s able to learn and to change though. So yes, I have faith in him and I’m sure as long as he follows his heart, he’ll always do the right thing. Plus: WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HURT HIM LIKE THAT, SARAH?! I think Chaol suffered enough over those last few books and now this too?! Not fair. T_T

Dorian:

”He deserved this darkness, and once the invisible boundary shattered and the waiting thing pounced, infiltrating and filling him … he’d have earned it.”

MY PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL!!! *sobs* Gosh, how much did I suffer with him, how much did I weep for his shattered and broken soul. The pain he went through, the torture he had to endure. T_T Every chapter was another stab into my heart and by the end of the book I almost lost hope that he’d be free again. I thought he was going to die, that nothing would be left of him, but then, then he broke his chains and OMG did I cry when he finally escaped!!! Still, he’s so broken and lonely and I’m not sure how he’s going to deal with everything that happened to him. I’m so worried about Dorian and I really hope he’ll be able to find happiness! #TeamDorian forever and for always!!! <333

”There were tears running down Aelin’s face as Dorian gripped the black stone encircling his throat. And bellowing his grief, his rage, his pain, he snapped the collar from his neck.”

”The sun would still rise and fall, the seasons would still change, heedless of whether he was free or enslaved, prince or king, heedless of who was alive and who was gone. The world would keep moving on. It didn’t seem right, somehow.”

Manon:

”I’m not in the habit of forcing my servants.”
“Only slaughtering men like pigs, correct?”
“Their deaths equate to their behavior in life,” Manon replied with a kind of calm that made Elide wonder whether she should start running.

Ahh Manon! My sexy relentless, fierce and ruthless witch! I love her! She’s one of those characters I can’t help but adore! I know she isn’t really a heroine, but she certainly is no villain either. In fact she’s such a complex character that I just can’t get enough of her! I FREAKIN LOVE THIS WITCH! And I’m so damn glad she finally decided to do what SHE thinks is right! YESH!!! Screw that old hag of a matron and do your thing Manon! Because you’re amazing and you could be so much more than just the monster others see in you! It’s time to disobey orders and to kick asses! Show them your iron fangs, baby! XD #GuessImTeamManonNowToo

Asterin let out another joyless laugh. “You would not have disobeyed even if it had been Blackbeaks down there, would you? Loyalty, obedience, brutality – that is what you are.”

”Do you believe monsters are born, or made?”

Rowan:

”You will make mistakes. You will make decisions, and sometimes you will regret those choices. Sometimes there won’t be a right choice, just the best of several bad options. I don’t need to tell you that you can do this – you know you can. I wouldn’t have sworn the oath to you if I didn’t think you could.”

I like Rowan but despite him becoming the main love interest for Aelin I still don’t love him as much as I love Dorian or Aedion. Hmm.. I dunno what it is but I think I’m kind of unhappy with his development. I mean in “Heir of Fire” he was this kickass, broody and fierce warrior that took no shit and now he’s almost become a purring kitty in Aelin’s arms. I mean I do get that he loves Aelin and would do everything for her, but I think his love for her made him less interesting somehow? Idk. It’s like he lost some part of himself now that he fell in love with his Queen and I really hope we’ll see the fierce warrior in “Empire of Storms” again. Please?

Aedion:

”Whatever you had to do to survive, whatever you did from spite or rage or selfishness … I don’t give a damn. You’re here – and you’re perfect. You always were, and you always will be.”

AEDION IS MY CUPCAKE! Seriously I think he’s one of the cutest guys ever and he definitely deserves the world! I love how fiercely loyal he is and that he always tries to see the good in people. He never wavered and he always did the right thing, even if it hurt him and was at his own expense. Like for instance accepting that Aelin let Rowan take the oath and didn’t even mention it! Gosh darn it! Aedion deserved better than that! I’ll personally pull Aelin’s long fae ears if she ever hurts him like that again!! Also is Aedion bi? I mean he commented on Rowan being handsome so I think that actually might be a possibility! Just one more reason to love him! <333

Lysandra:

“No. And what kills me is that I can’t remember what my real face was. That was the danger of shifting – that you would forget your real form, because it’s the memory of it that guides the shifting. I remember being plain as a dormouse, but … I don’t remember if my eyes were blue or gray or green; I can’t remember the shape of my nose or my chin. And it was a child’s body, too. I don’t know what I would look like now, as a woman.”

I’m in love with Lysandra too! *lol* Yes, I can’t help it! She’s such an awesome woman as well and she’s a hell of a fighter! Gosh did I love her comments! That girl brought so much life into Aelin’s court and I lived for her remarks. She always tried to appear nonchalant and bitchy but deep down within her there’s a heart of gold and by the end of the book even Aelin was able to see it. To think they were enemies and rivals once… I’m so glad they finally became friends. Plus: How cool is it that Lysandra is a shape shifter?!! I mean OMG!!! I didn’t expect that and I was so surprised when I found out. XD

”The soldiers in the sewer were screaming as she tore into them – a death for every day in hell, a death for the childhood taken from her and from Evangeline. She was fury, she was wrath, she was vengeance.”

Elide & Nesryn:

”You told me Dorian would fix the world, make it better. Buf if he’s gone, if we made the mistake today in keeping him alive, then I will find another way to attain that future. And another one after that, if I have to. I will keep getting back up, no matter how many times those butchers shove me down.” – Nesryn

Those two were both strong women in their own way, but I feel like we didn’t get to see all too much of them. I just wish there would have been more scenes with Elide & Nesryn. I mean they both intrigued me and their characters sounded very interesting, in the end I don’t feel like I really got to know them though. *sigh* Well, there are so many characters in Sarah’s books, it’s no wonder some of them fall by the wayside. Let’s hope there will be more of them in Eos! 😉

Arobynn:

”Sam had been tortured in ways she hadn’t even known until she read Wesley’s letter. The worst of it had been requested by Arobynn. Requested, as punishment for Sam’s loving her – punishment for tampering with Arobynn’s belongings.”

That manipulative jerk eventually got what he deserved! But damn I wish it wouldn’t have happened the way it did in the end. To die in his sleep was a death too merciful for him. For all the horrible and atrocious things Arobynn did he should have at least been awake and aware of the fact that he died. I understand why Lysandra could only kill him in his sleep though. *sigh* My poor brave girl!

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Aelin & Chaol:

For a heartbeat, she pitied him, and part of her wished she could say it more kindly, more compassionately. “There’s no getting Dorian out. There’s no saving him.”
“Like hell there isn’t.”

THOSE TWO! Gosh, they constantly seemed to be at each other’s throat and they frustrated me immensely! I hated that Aelin thought she couldn’t save Dorian and loved Chaol for never giving up on him, yet at the same time I disliked Chaol for calling Aelin a monster! I swear their anger and the way they treated each other had me all like: No, NO, NO! You’re supposed to help each other!! You’re supposed to save Dorian! Pull yourself together and work it out! GODDAMMIT!!! Thankfully by the end of the book both of them finally realized that they need each other and they eventually made amends. Jeez! It was about time! *sighs deeply* Urgh they were so stressful.

”We do not look back, Chaol. It helps no one and nothing to look back. We can only go on.”
There she was, that queen looking out at him, a hint of the ruler she was becoming. And it knocked the breath out of him, because it made him feel so strangely young – when she now seemed so old.

Rowan & Aelin:

”I could still probably braid this,” she mused. “Very teensy-tiny braids, so – “ He growled, but leaned back against the tub, his eyes closed. “You’re no better than a house cat,” she said, massaging his head. He let out a low noise in his throat that might very well have been a purr.

Haha! I loved it when Rowan lost all common sense at seeing Aelin in a flimsy nightgown! *LOL* Such a mighty fae warrior and then he sees her like that and isn’t even capable to utter a single word. XD Fun times. ;-P Still, I really like their connection and that they are so close to each other, I kind of dislike the notion of Rowan disappearing as an individual though. I just hope that he’ll give her hell in “EoS” again. *lol* Because I lived for their easy banter and the fact that they always gave each other a run for their money! XD It would be boring if Rowan would end up as nothing more than the man at Aelin’s side.

”I spent centuries wandering the world, from empires to kingdoms to wastelands, never settling, never stopping – not for one moment. I was always looking toward the horizon, always wondering what waited across the next ocean, over the next mountain. But I think … I think that whole time, all those centuries, I was just looking for you.”

Manon & Dorian:

He cocked his head. “I’ve never been with a witch.”
Let her rip out his throat for that. End it.
A row of iron fangs snapped down over her teeth as her smile grew. “I’ve been with plenty of men. You’re all the same. Taste the same.” She looked him over as if he were her next meal.
“I dare you,” he managed to say.
Her eyes narrowed, the gold like living embers. He’d never seen anyone so beautiful. This witch had been crafted from the darkness between the stars.

I SHIP THEM SO HARD I CAN’T EVEN!!!! ADKFADSFASDJFKSDFJA! I love it that Manon was the only one who got that Dorian is still alive and I love that she was so drawn to him! And boy those two short conversations they had! THEY GAVE ME LIFE!!! I WANT MORE OF THEM!! Just more!! I want my fierce, ruthless witch and my precious cinnamon roll to be together!!! PLEASEEEEE!!!! *dies out of sheer excitement*

”And through the darkness of his memories, through the pain and despair and terror he’d tried to forget, a name echoed in his head.”

Manon & Asterin:

”That wildness, that untamed fierceness … They weren’t born of a free heart, but of one that had known despair so complete that living brightly, living violently, was the only way to outrun it.”

Asterin’s story broke my heart and I want her to be happy again!!! I hated it so much that they both were at odds with each other and that Asterin had to suffer so much even though she only wanted to help Manon. She loves her. It’s more than just obvious! As it seems Manon had to come a long way until she realized what truly matters, but I think now that she did, she’s finally ready to oppose her matron! I really can’t wait to see THAT fight! XD

”Things are changing,” Manon said.
“Good,” Asterin said. “We’re immortals. Things should change, and often, or they’ll get boring.”
Manon lifted her brows, and her Second grinnend. Manon shook her head and grinned back.

Lysandra & Aedion:

A strange, ever-changing female scent hit him, and Aedion found Lysandra leaning against the hallway door. Tears gleamed in her eyes even as she smiled.
She gazed at the closed bedroom door, as if she could still see the prince and queen inside. “That,” she said, more to herself than to him. “That is what I am going to find one day.”
“A gorgeous Fae warrior?” Aedion said, shifting a bit.
Lysandra chuckled, wiping away her tears, and gave him a knowing look before walking away.

Another ship I want to sail! I think Aedion and Lysandra would make such a great couple! *lol* Besides I’m sure Lysandra might actually be the only one who would be able to keep up with Aedion. Haha! I mean they tease each other so nicely and Aedion is even slightly unsettled when she’s turning into a ghost leopard which means he has a lot of respect for her and this is always important in a relationship! =) Let’s see if Aedion will be Lysandra’s gorgeous Fae warrior in ‘”Eos”! ;-P

Aelin & Dorian:

”It is going to take a while. And it might never be right again. Buy you …” She gripped his hand, as if he hadn’t used those hands to hurt and maim, to stab her. “You will learn to face it, and to endure it. What happened, Dorian, was not your fault.”

I still love their strong friendship, despite Aelin being willing to kill him of course. XD But I guess after meeting those Valg Princes at Wendlyn she was allowed to doubt his survival. Still, they both can change the world together and they are both so strong! I have faith in them and I’m sure if they help each other and stick together they can really shatter the chains of their world and make it right! =)

Dorian & Chaol:

”I didn’t realize I looked that bad,” Dorian said, his voice raw.
He knew then – that the demon inside the prince was gone. Chaol wept.
Dorian surged from the chair and dropped to his knees beside the bed. He grabbed Chaol’s hand, squeezing it as he pressed his brow against his. “You were dead,” the prince said, his voice breaking. “I thought you were dead.”

Those two had me in tears at the end. T_T I was so happy they both found each other again!!! Their friendship went through so much in those last four books and now they are finally together! I love them and I admit it, I even kinda ship them. XD I mean hello, Chaol told Dorian that he loves him! XD Can’t blame me for shipping them, can you?! ;-P Besides, it’s obvious they love each other. At least as friends they do. XD
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All told I really loved “Queen of Shadows” and I can’t wait to get to book five! I’m sure Sarah will have a lot in store for us and I’m kinda scared to start it. As long as my precious Gem continues this journey with me I shall be fine though! ;-P Thanks for reading this series with me! XD We just have to read two more books!!! Two more books Gem and we’ll be ready to read “Kingdom of Ash”. =)

Allgemein, F - J, I, Reviews

Review: Imagine Me (Tahereh Mafi)

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Rating: 2 Pfoten, 5

 
Book 28 on My Book List 2020
 
 

„What happened to you, man?“ I whisper. „Where’d you go?“
„Hell,“ he says. „I’ve finally found hell.“

Me too, Ladies and Gentlemen, me too! >_<

Hell was reading this book and you better get yourself some chocolate before you continue to read because I’m so bitter that I could be mistaken for a lemon. I’m not just bitter though, I’m salty as well. So buckle up this is going to be a spicy ride. (Okay, I’m done with the food hints now. *lol* You get the idea! ;-P)

This book was just … URGH!!

I’m so disappointed right now I’ve been fighting to find the proper words for at least two weeks. And I just realized that I’ll probably never find them. >_< I think the most important thing you have to know is that I loved the original trilogy! It was so good and I’m such a huge Tahereh Mafi fan! Moreover I actually enjoyed books 4 and 5! They were different but they were still good! So what went wrong? A LOT!!!  Or basically everything!

Seriously, if it wouldn’t have been for my beloved Jello who had the questionable pleasure to experience my disappointment first hand I most certainly would have never made it through this book! So a huge shout-out to Jello for surviving this buddy read with me! *lol* You’re the best, girl! And I swear I would have never made it through this book without your support! <333 So thank you so much for keeping me company on this hard ride. XD It was tough for both of us but we got through it somehow! *sighs* This said let’s get to the root of the problem:

”My questions are endless.
I kill them.”

Oh, how I wish I would have had the same luxury!!!

Unlike Juliette I couldn’t just kill my questions though and instead of getting answers all I got was a headache and even more questions than before. There happened so many things that left question marks above my head and NONE, really NONE were answered! You’d think an author who writes the last book in a series that consists of 6!!! (SIX!!!) books in total would try to wrap it up all nicely in the end? Nope! Nah, Nuh-uh. Nopedy nope! I didn’t get my awesome ending wrapped up in a lovely bow and I’m so bitter about it! So, so bitter! And this comes from a fan that loved and read all the former books, mind you! I’m not writing this rant because I dislike Tahereh’s books or because I want to make her feel bad, I’m writing this rant because I LOVE Tahereh and her writing style and I can’t believe that she would write such an ending!!! I just can’t wrap my head around it!

„It is only in the desperate seconds before death that we realize the windows against which we broke our bodies were only mirrors, all along.”

What went wrong Tahereh? Why give us such a sloppy ending even though we know you are a magnificent writer?!  Where did your amazing and beautiful writing style go? I missed it during the entire book. The fact that I only wrote down 4 quotes from a book that consists of 450 pages should already tell us enough! After reading all the other books I couldn’t even pack all those lovely and beautiful quotes into my reviews. I had no problem this time around. In fact I had to go looking for those 4 quotes so that I actually COULD put something into this review. *shakes head*

Still, the writing style wasn’t the only thing that made me sad. I also missed the amazingness of my beloved characters. They used to be complex, they had character arcs and they developed. They grew and changed over time. In this book it was like they all went back to their starting point and couldn’t be more than stereotypes. Which is such a shame! And don’t even get me started on Juliette/Ella!

spoilerWTH, Tahereh?!!! I hated Robo-J so much and whenever I read “Yes, sir!” I felt like I wanted to puke!! What was the point in making her bland like that? That entire thing with Anderson and his sadistic streak, the fact that Juliette was attracted to HIM??!! WHAT DID I EVEN READ HERE?? At times it felt like I jumped right into a twisted and revolting version of “50 Shades of Grey” and the obedient/dull soldier looking up to her dominant master theme was THE WORST and so didn’t work for me!!!

Another thing that riled me big time was that the main topic of those last 3 books was Emmaline and then we barely get anything about her. The first 10% of the book and then… nothing! Like she wasn’t important enough to keep the plot moving. Instead we get… moments that made me want to tear my hair out! >_< And to add insult to injury we get an epilogue that was so unsatisfying that I sat there crying into the book! Not because it was so good, but because it made my heart bleed all over the pages by not being what I wanted it to be. T_T

This book should have been named “Torture Me” instead of “Imagine Me” but if I have to go with the theme, I’ll do it my way (and this is where it gets salty, my friends):

“Imagine Me” borrowing Winston’s whiskey flask and taking a big swig in order to get through this book. *lol* Thank you, Winston! ;-P

“Imagine Me” throwing this book against a wall.

“Imagine Me” setting it on fire and then chucking it out of the window.

And “Imagine Me” letting it being run over by a car only to get drenched in rain! All for good measure, of course! 😉

“Imagine Me” hoping for a great ending and getting THIS and…

spoilerA DOG!!! Not even a wedding but a freaking dog??! I understand why Tahereh wrote that scene but I really would have rather wanted to read their wedding scene! Damn it!

“Imagine Me” and my face falling when I realized this was neither about Emmaline nor about my OTP.

spoilerI mean Juliette and Warner’s relationship was basically non-existent! They spent about 90% of this book apart and then he KISSES her back into her mind??!! Like seriously? Are you kidding me? Juliette doesn’t even recognize, let alone remember Warner but she makes out with him? How could Tahereh reduce their beautiful and deep relationship to nothing but physical attraction? There was so much more than that between them and it was the physical aspect she latched on to?!! WE (the fans) and Warner & Juliette deserved so much better than that!!!

“Imagine Me” being one of Tahereh’s biggest fans but being so damn salty I could turn a lake into the sea. If you ever come across an Austrian lake that’s as salty as the Black Sea: I’m sorry, that was me! XD

“Imagine Me” getting whiplash from shaking my head too much! My neck hurts, no kidding!

“Imagine Me” losing my appetite every single time Juliette said “Yes, sir!” (I need to eat lots of Christmas cookies to compensate for that!!)

“Imagine Me” wanting to erase the memory of this book with bleach! Yes, I’m that desperate! Come to think of it Evie and Max would come in pretty handy right now. XD

“Imagine Me” collapsing under the weight of all those question marks, because let’s face it: This book was all over the place! I feel like Atlas and it’s no fun!

And last but not least: “Imagine Me” renaming this book “Torture Me”!

The only good thing about “Torture Me” was Warner’s and Kenji’s bromance! Well, and this quote:

„To the world, she is formidable.
To me?
She is the world.“

That’s it! My fan heart is so broken right now, I want to “imagine” a world with a better ending than this! T_T

Okay, I’m done with the puns and I’ve vomited all my bitterness into this review. I’m sorry to say it but I can’t give this more than 2,5 paws. 2,5 paws because otherwise it would feel like I’d let Tahereh get away with this disaster of a book and someone has to speak the truth. As a huge fan of this series my heart is bleeding but I stand by my opinion! #SorryNotSorry

Let’s hope Mafi’s next book will be better again!

A - E, Allgemein, C, Reviews

Review: Clockwork Prince (Cassandra Clare)

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Rating: 5 Pfoten
 

”It is always better to live the truth than to live a lie.”

I love this quote because it sums up everything that happens in this book. There are many truths that come to the light of day and there are even more lies that are revealed and cause some damage. The difference between “Clockwork Angel” and “Clockwork Prince” always kind of astonishes me. While the first book is pretty slow and character driven this second book is all those things as well but it still feel so very different than “Clockwork Angel”.

For one thing, it’s way darker than its predecessor and we get a better understanding for all those characters and the struggles they have to deal with. They were already amazing characters on the surface but “Clockwork Prince” digs deeper than that and we finally get to see all of their different facets. Jem is more than just the kind angel everyone expects him to be, Tessa is more than the damsel in distress everyone believes her to be and Will is not the self-centred and arrogant scumbag he wants us to see. So if I have to name the difference between the first and the second book I’d say that this one goes deeper.

There’s more depth to the characters, the stakes are higher. Everything – from the storyline to the protagonists – is darker and more pronounced. There’s an urgency to “Clockwork Prince” that was never visible in the former book and it’s like an undercurrent that runs through the entire story. I just love how CC doesn’t only manage to capture my attention but also makes me feel so much with her characters. They are real people and my heart is bleeding for them. ❤

And before I write another essay (which I totally could! *lol*) I’ll go to my characters section instead and talk about all those wonderful feelings! ;-P

2

The London Institute is full of secrets and once you take a closer look you’ll not only discover the truth but you’ll also be spoiled! XD So if you continue on your way:  Stay alert and be aware that there will be spoilers at every corner! Continue at your own peril!

Tessa Gray:

”You didn’t think about him,” said Tessa. “But perhaps you should have. Don’t you understand he thinks you made a mockery out of what’s killing him? And you’re supposed to be his brother.”

I really love Tessa’s character arc! At the beginning of the first book she was naive and basically a damsel in distress but in here we see how strong she’s become. She fights for the people she loves and cares about, she talks back to Will and gives him a run for his money and she tries to help Jessamine even though she betrayed her in the worst way possible. Tessa is a really compassionate, brave and kind character and I’m not surprised both, Will and Jem, fell for her. Also it’s nice to see her take the initiative and to go for what she wants. She’s more determined and headstrong than she was before and I like it. XD It was difficult to see how she struggled with Nate’s death because no matter what he did to her, he was still her brother and she just couldn’t hate him. >_<

Tessa was unmoved. “I won’t know if I like it until I try it, will I?”
“I’ve never swum naked in the Thames, but I know I wouldn’t like it.”
“But think how entertaining for sightseers,” said Tessa, and she saw Jem duck his head to hide the quick flash of his grin.

”Do not mock him.” Tessa’s tone was sharp.
“Nothing is beyond mockery, Tess.”
“Jem is. He has always been good to you. He is nothing but goodness. That he hit you last night, only shows how capable you are of driving even saints to madness.”
“Jem hit me?” Will, fingering his cheek, looked amazed.

”He could never stay angry at you, Will; he loves you too well for that. I do not even think he would hold anger toward me. But this morning he told me he thought he would die without ever loving anyone as his father loved his mother, without ever being loved like that in return. Do you want me to go down the hallway and knock on his door and take that away from him? And would you love me still, if I did?”

Will Herondale:

„If I might make a suggestion,” said Will. “About twenty paces behind us, in the Council room, is Benedict. If you’d like to go back in there and try kicking him, I recommend aiming upward and a bit to the left-“

First of all I want to say how amazing that “throwing the apple and the dagger” scene was! *lol* There’s a nonchalance about this boy that is amazing! XD Yes, he can be super arrogant but in contrast to others he can back up his arrogance with truly remarkable skills. He has every reason to be confident. ;-P This said, I suffered so much with Will in this book! The entire thing with the curse from the demon Marbas was so heart-breaking and once he found out the truth… Oh gods! Just imagine living 5 years like that and then finding out that there was actually never a curse. To gain this kind of knowledge! It must have been so devastating! T_T When Will finally realized it and broke down I just wanted to hug him and make it better. >_< That poor, poor boy! Still, I’m glad the truth is out now and it was really good to see Will’s true self. The person he hid behind all those walls for so long is a truly beautiful boy and I can’t wait to see even more of him in the next book! <333

”What did they do?” Will’s voice rose. “What did they do? Nothing. It is me. I am poison. Poison to them. Poison to anyone who loves me.”

”Can you imagine it? Can you?” He raked his hands through his black hair, letting the tangled strands fall back into his eyes. “Never letting anyone near you. Making everyone who might otherwise love you, hate you. I left my family to distance myself from them, and that they might forget me. Each day I must show cruelty to those I have chosen to make my home with, lest they let themselves feel too much affection for me.”

”I feel myself diminished, parts of me spiraling away into the darkness, that which is good and honest and true – If you hold it away from yourself long enough, do you lose it entirely? If no one cares for you at all, do you even really exist?”

”You and I, Tess, we’re alike. We live and breathe words. It was books that kept me from taking my own life after I thought I could never love anyone, never be loved by anyone again. It was books that made me feel that perhaps I was not completely alone. They could be honest with me, and I with them.”

„Will slid to his knees. His hands were locked across his stomach as if they were keeping his guts from spilling out. Five years, he thought. Five years wasted. He heard his family screaming and pounding on the doors of the Institute and himself ordering Charlotte to send them away. And they had never known why. They had lost a daughter and a son in a matter of days, and they had never known why. And the others – Henry and Charlotte and Jem – and Tessa – and the things he had done –“

Jem Carstairs:

”When Will truly wants something,” said Jem quietly, “when he feels something, he can break your heart.”

It’s kind of funny but with this reread I started to appreciate Jem’s character even more. Not that I didn’t already do that but with every reread I fall more and more in love with him. The first time reading the series it was only Will, but now my heart is beating for Jem as well. There’s just something about him! His innocence and kindness is charming and for him every relationship is built on love, trust and consent. He’s so damn pure I can’t even!!! <333 And to know that the drug he has to take in order to live will also kill him one day is … it’s just not fair. T_T Jem deserves so much more than this short life is able to give him and it hurts so damn much to know that he won’t get it. Every time I read about his struggle my heart ached even more! Every moment he showed his true feelings for Tessa I sighed. And whenever we got a glimpse of his fear I felt like dying. Jem’s impending death is looming over his head and he’s doing such a great job at trying to be brave. T_T My heart is breaking so much for this sweet, kind and gentle boy. *sobs*

”Please,” he said softly. His voice was husky. She recognized the emotion. It was shame. “I do not want you to see me on my knees, grubbing around on the floor for the drug that I need to live. That is not how any man wants the girl he-“ He took a shaking breath. “I’m sorry, Tessa.”

”What does it matter?” he said in a voice so low it was almost a hiss. “What does any of it matter? I’m dying. I won’t outlast the decade. What does it matter if the violin goes before I do?”

”She had assumed his kindness was so natural so innate, she had never asked herself whether it cost him any effort. Any effort to stand between Will and the world, protecting each of them from the other. Any effort to accept the loss of his family with equanimity. Any effort to remain cheerful and clam in the face of his own dying.”

”If I was harsh with you, it was because I cannot bear to see you treat yourself as if you are worth nothing. Whatever part you might at to the contrary, I see you as you really are, my blood brother. Not just better than you pretend to be, but better than most people could hope to be.” He placed a hand on Will’s shoulder, gently. “You are worth everything, Will.”

”I can offer you my life, but it is a short life; I can offer you my heart, though I have no idea how many more beats it shall sustain. But I love you enough to hope that you will not care that I am being selfish in trying to make the rest of my life – whatever its length – happy, by spending it with you. I want to be married to you, Tessa. I want it more than I have ever wanted anything else in my life.”

”His beauty did not blaze like Will’s did in fierce colors and repressed fire, but it had its own muted perfection, the loveliness of snow falling against a silver-gray sky.”

Mangus Bane:

”He was really going to have to do something about this annoying softhearted impulse to assist the desperate, Magnus thought. That, and his weakness for blue eyes.”

I really liked that Mangus was a bigger part of this book and I still love my warlock like crazy! I swear he’s the constant in every Shadowhunter book and since the thing with Camille didn’t work out it makes me so happy to know that he WILL find true love in the later books! ❤ Also can we take a second and appreciate his humour and the fact that he always interrupts people when things get too steamy? *LOL* He’s such a – sorry for the crude language but there is no other word to describe him – cockblocker. XD Haha! I mean Magnus interrupting couples before they can get it on is such a running gag. I loved the short nod at his weakness for blue eyes and the fact that he kissed Will just to make Camille jealous! Typical Magnus! Even if he’s going down, he’s going down with style! ;-P

”We’re well equipped to handle danger,” Tessa said.
Magnus eyed her bosom openly. “I can see that,” he said. “Armed to the teeth, as it were.”

”There is a soul under all that bravado. And he is really alive, one of the most alive people I have ever met. When he feels something, it is as bright and sharp as lightning.”

3

Tessa & Will:

”Tessa,” he said, holding out a hand to stop her.
She looked at him, wishing she could ask him to go back to calling her Miss Gray. Just the way he said her name undid her, loosened something tight and knotted underneath her rib cage, making her breathless.

Their relationship in this book just about killed me! I mean we all know they love each other, yet we also found out about the reason why Will is pushing Tessa away and the poor girl is so confused because she has no idea why he’s treating her the way he does. Everything between them is hot and cold and then right back to hot and cold again. They can’t find a middle ground. It’s either all consuming passion or it’s pure iciness. A huge part of that is due to Will’s fear of the curse and what it might do to Tessa and so we can only watch and suffer while those two make irrevocable decisions that tear them apart even more. To witness this was so painful and urgh I just wanted to jump into the book and tell them to be honest with each other. So unfortunately when the truth finally comes out it’s too little too late and their ship goes down, down, down… T_T After everything Will did to keep Tessa away it’s no wonder she went right into Jem’s arms though. >_<

”When he saw her, he wanted to be with her; when he was with her, he ached to touch her; when he touched even her hand, he wanted to embrace her. He wanted to feel her against him the way he had in the attic. He wanted to know the taste of her skin and the smell of her hair.”

”He would have given everything he had in the world and everything he would ever have, just to lie beside her in the narrow infirmary bed and hold her while she slept. Pulling away from her had been like pulling his own skin off, but he’d had to do it.”

”I don’t care,” he said fervently. “I don’t care.” His arms went around her, and he held her; she rested her cheek against the warm juncture of his neck and shoulder.”

Tessa & Jem:

She smiled at him. “How did you know just what I’d want to see?”
“How could I not?” he said. “When I think of you, and you are not there, I see you in my mind’s eye always with a book in your hand.” He looked away from her as he said it, but not before she caught the slight flush on his cheekbones.

So after Jem held back in the first book and gave Tessa and Will a chance to hit it off (which they didn’t); he finally decided to step out of the friendzone and told Tessa about his feelings for her. Which I adored!!! I mean here’s a man that says what he’s thinking! He’s so direct and honest with her it’s amazing! <333 I love their relationship and that they can talk about everything without holding back. The communication between those two is great and Jem is an angel! Seriously, he didn’t even expect Tessa to reciprocate his feelings and the fact that he didn’t makes him even more precious! I loved that we finally got to see Jem’s passionate side and it’s so cute that he always seems to lose control whenever he’s around Tessa. He can’t take his eyes off of her and everything he feels is plainly written on his face. XD This said, I was no huge fan of the ending. I mean I know Tessa is confused and Will finally telling her the truth must have been quite a shock. Still, the insinuation that she will stay with Jem because he’s going to die and she doesn’t want to hurt him left a really bitter taste in my mouth. She should love Jem for being Jem and not because he has a terminal disease. The way this last scene was written implied that she would gladly go with Will if she wouldn’t have accepted Jem’s proposal and I’m not okay with this. For some reason I never noticed this in my former rereads but it felt like Jem is second choice and I don’t like it. Jem deserves the world! He deserves everything! Especially a person that loves him for who he is! So yeah, I’m feeling kind of bitter about this but I hope that Tessa’s feelings in the last book will be genuine.

”James,” he said. “Ordinarily only Will calls me that.”
“I’m sorry –“
“No. Don’t be. I like the sound of it on your lips.”

”He gasped against her mouth. He must have been so sure she would push him away that for a moment he went still. Her hands glided over his shoulders, urging him with gentle touches, with a murmur against his lips, not to pause.”

”Every time you say that word, ‘friendship’, it goes into me like a knife,” he said. “To be friends is a beautiful thing, Tessa, and I do not scorn it, but I have hoped for a long time now that we might be more than friends.”

”I’ve never minded it,” he went on. “Being lost, that is. I had always thought one could not be truly lost if one knew one’s own heart. But I fear I may be lost without knowing yours.”

”She willed herself to melt into the kiss, to dissolve against him as she had done before. His mouth was soft on hers and tasted sweet, and his hand when it cupped her neck was strong and gentle. She moved closer to him, wanting to feel the beat of his heart.”

Jem & Will:

”Jem’s your parabatai. I’ve seen you with him. You love him, don’t you?”
“Jem is my great sin,” said Will. “Don’t talk to me about Jem.”

I really loved how nonchalant Jem was about giving Will a black eye! *lol* Heaven knows he deserved it so I don’t feel bad about it and I’m glad Jem didn’t either. Haha! Their relationship is still EVERYTHING! And I stand by my opinion! I still ship them! They have such a strong connection, they feel so close and their deep love for each other, it’s unlike anything I ever read! <333 To say they had it easy in this book would be a lie though. Both of them struggled with their personal problems, yet they always found their way back to each other. They would do everything to make each other happy, even if it means to let go of the one thing they both want more than anything else in the world. >_< I just can’t with those two. They are so gentle and tender with each other and you can see their love in every single action they make. To hear Will voice his feelings about Jem… it broke my heart. A love so strong shouldn’t be severed by death and it kills me to know that Jem is getting weaker. T_T Ahh I just love them so much! My two precious boys! *sobs uncontrollably*

Will looked at Jem thoughtfully. “I seem to have woken up with what they call a Monday mouse,” he said, pointing at the bruised skin under his eye. “Any idea where I got it?”
“None.” Jem helped himself to some tea.

”He owed Jem his life. He could not take from him the one thing Jem wanted more than anything else. Even if it meant Will’s own happiness, for Jem was not only someone to whom he owed a debt that could never be repaid, but, as the covenant said, someone he loved as he loved his own soul.”

”I would always have forgiven you,” he said. “I would have forgiven you if you hadn’t apologized. In fact, I wasn’t expecting you would. Tessa’s influence, I can only guess.”
“I am not here at her request. James, you are all the family I have.” Will’s voice shook. “I would die for you. You know that. I would die without you.”

”He is like me,” said Jem simply. “An addict.”
Will looked at him over their joined hands. “He is not like you. And you will not die like that.”

”What?”
“I said that Jem proposed to me,” she whispered. “He asked if I would marry him. And I said I would.”
Will had gone shockingly white. He said, “Jem. My Jem?”

Charlotte & Henry:

”I would change it if I could. Of all the people in the world, I did think you understood. You know – you know it isn’t just tinkering for me. You know I want to create something that will make the world better, that will make things better for the Nephilim. Just as you do, in directing the Institute.”

It’s so weird that both of them thought the other didn’t love them! They should have spoken more about their feelings and shouldn’t have assumed things but then again they are both not the kind of type to speak about their emotions so directly. No matter how openly they show their affection for Will, Jem, Jessamine and Tessa, they apparently never showed it to each other as well. So I’m glad they finally had that conversation and I feel so sorry that Jessamine betrayed them. She was like a daughter for them and all they got was scorn and betrayal. Poor Charlotte broke my heart when she gave Jessamine over to the Silent Brothers and to stand up to Benedict and to face all those other Shadowhunters couldn’t have been easy. I’m just glad her and Henry talked things out and are finally on the same page! XD

”You are not plain,” Henry said, his face still blazing. “You are beautiful. And I didn’t ask your father if I could marry you out of duty. I did it because I loved you. I’ve always loved you. I’m your husband.”
“I didn’t think you wanted to be,” she whispered.

”Jessamine has been with us since she was a little girl. It would have been too much for him, too much. He does not have it in him to be cruel.”
“Charlotte.” Tessa touched her shoulder gently. “Charlotte, you are not cruel either.”
“I do what I must. There is nothing to worry about,” Charlotte said again, and burst into tears.

Tessa & Nate:

”You couldn’t leave well enough alone. You had to pry into my business. Delighted to see me brought low, are you? What kind of sister does that make you, Tessie?”

I just hate Nate, okay?! This boy was so selfish and horrible! Every time he met Tessa he made sure to let her know how little he cared about her! What’s even worse is that he tried to give her a bad conscience for not going along with his plans. Like seriously! Are you kidding me? You blame your sister because she didn’t agree to being married off to an old lunatic who wants to use and hurt her?! URGH! I just can’t with Nate! I understand that Tessa is heartbroken because he died, he was her brother after all, but the things he did were just vile and if it would have been me I wouldn’t have forgiven him. Also Jessamine… why the freaking hell did she marry him?! She should have known better than that.

”My brother,” Tessa said in a barely controlled voice, “is a lying murderer, incapable of feeling. He may have married you, Jessamine, but he does not love you. The Shadowhunters have helped and protected me, as they have done you. And yet you turn on them like a dog the moment my brother snaps his fingers. He will abandon you – if he does not kill you first.“

4

I love this series and its characters with every fibre of my heart! ❤ It might have taken me four months to read this but that’s just because I savoured every single letter and sentence. XD The background stories were amazing and to read this was bittersweet. “Clockwork Prince” is a wonderful sequel and I can’t wait to read “Clockwork Princess”. I know it will destroy me, but my faerie heart is kind of looking forward to it. *lol*

P.S: That demon pox song, though!!! XD

 
 

Allgemein, F - J, H, Reviews

Review: Heir of Fire (Sarah J. Maas)

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Rating: 5 Pfoten

”She has no hope, Prince. She has no hope left in her heart. Help her. If not for her sake, then at least for what she represents – what she could offer all of us, you included.”
“And what is that?” he dared ask.
Emrys met his gaze unflinchingly as he whispered, “A better world.”

First of all: YES, the rumour is true!
This series really gets better and better with each and every single book! 😉
Just thought I’d let you know! *lol*

To be honest, after “Crown of Midnight” all I hoped for was that “Heir of Fire” would be able to keep the pace. And tell you what? It actually exceeded my, admittedly, already high expectations! Yes, Sarah! You did an amazing job with this one! I was hooked right from the beginning and I didn’t want to stop to read this damn book!!!

I loved this book, I loved it so freaking much! It was so, so, so, so, SOOO, good!!!
And I was happy with it, I was SO happy with it!
UNTIL… UNTIL the last 20 pages hit me!! ARGH!!! T_T

I thought I’d be able to write about “Heir of Fire” without getting all too emotional but as it seems all my plans and good intentions just went out of the window. I can’t write about this book without getting emotional! I just can’t! It was too much!! That ending was too much!!! WHY?

WHY THE FREAKIDY FREAKING HELL, SARAH!!!!????
How could you do this to me??!!
HOW?!

I LOVE THIS BOOK!
BUT I HATE THIS ENDING SO MUCH!

I hate it,
I love it,
I hate that I love it,
I love that I hate it!

ADSFJKLMNÖ ADKFASLDFJASDKFASDK!
*throws book against the wall*
*a second time*
*for good measure*

Okay, I think I’m ready to continue now. *takes deep breath and collects herself*

All right! Let’s do this!
Just like with “Crown of Midnight” I won’t waste your time by writing about the plot. It’s way too complex to explain it without any spoilers and because of that, I guess it might be best if I just go for another round of “Keyword Boggle”!
It was so much fun the last time around, wasn’t it? ;-P

So here I go: Celaena, Dorian, Chaol, Rowan, Aelin, Manon, Abraxos, Sorscha, The King, magic, faeries, witches, darkness, fire, ice, wind, a kitchen, a healer, an apartment, blood, murder, and let’s not forget about the black stones. XD

I guess by now you could write your own book! *lol*
We’re still speaking about Sarah’s book though, so I’ll head directly into the characters section and won’t keep you in suspense any longer.

2

Do I still have to say it? Yes? Okay! Beware of my characters section because it’s known as the spoilery spoiler section of my reviews! Don’t read on, close your eyes, eat an ice, please think twice, I’m not nice, my reviews have spice. And spoilers, lots of spoilers, but you already know that or you wouldn’t have continued to read that bad rhyme! ;-P

Celaena:

”So you’d save another land, but not yours. Why can’t your friend save her own kingdom?”
“Because she is dead!” She screamed the last word so loudly it burned in her throat. “Because she is dead, and I am left with my worthless life!”

*sighs deeply* Oh, Celaena! How much pain does this poor girl have to endure? It hurt to read about her feelings after Nehemia’s death, it hurt to read how much she ached and wished she could have been someone else. That she could have saved her friend. That Nehemia would live instead of her. That Chaol would have trusted her. That he would have told her… Oh boy, Celaena’s heart was a black void of desperation and pain that only seemed to get worse before it even got a chance to get better. In the end it did get better though and I’m so happy about that! She finally found her inner strength and she accepted her heritage! Which is awesome, because I really can’t wait for her to kick some ass! *lol* Heaven knows the King’s behind is already a formidable target and please Sarah if there is any justice in your world you’ll let him burn for what he did!!! You’ll let him suffer for all the pain he caused!!! I can’t wait to see Celaena’s power unleashed! Guess the palace is going to be “hot stuff” soon! ;-P

”He had chosen the king. Even though he’d claimed he loved her, he still loyally served that monster. Maybe she had been a fool for letting him in, for dreaming of a world where she could ignore the fact that he was captain to the man who had shattered her life again and again.”

”No, all she could see were the slaves she’d left behind, the ashy mountains and those mass graves they dug every day, the faces of her people, who had worked beside her – her people whom she had left behind. Whom she had let herself forget, had let suffer; who had prayed for salvation, holding out hope that someone, anyone would remember them.
She had abandoned them – and she had been too late.”

”She would not let that light go out. She would fill the world with it, with her light – her gift. She would light up the darkness, so brightly that all who were lost or wounded or broken would find their way to it, a beacon for those who still dwelled in that abyss. It would not take a monster to destroy a monster – but light, light to drive out darkness.
She was not afraid.”

Chaol:

”He was afraid of what they would do to his kingdom. Because this was still his kingdom. He was working for Dorian, not Aelin – not Aedion. And he didn’t know where all of this put him.”

YESH! I know it was a long and hard way for Chaol but as it seems he’s finally on the right track! I loved that he began to question everything. He was so insecure and hurt that he had no other choice than to face his outlook on things and in the end this eventually forced him to see behind the kings carefully kept façade. Which is awesome, because I know deep down within him Chaol is a very good man!!! He was just completely oblivious to the fact that the served a monster! Still, I’m glad he decided for Dorian and I swear if Celaena and Chaol don’t do anything about this damn ending, I’m going to riot!!!! CHAOL you gotta help your Prince and rightful king!!!!

”I will not turn my back on my kingdom or my prince,” Chaol snapped. “I will not fight in your army and slaughter my people. And I will not break my vow to my father.” His honor might very well be all he would have left after the end of this.

Aedion was quiet long enough that Chaol got up to leave. But then the general said, “What would you have given – just to see her again?”
Chaol couldn’t turn around as he said, “It doesn’t matter now.”

Chaol kept his sword drawn. “I will not go to Anielle,” he growled. “And I will not serve you a moment longer. There is one true king in this room – there always has been. And he is not sitting on that throne.”

Dorian:

”Once Dorian might have already said something about it. But having magic, getting drawn into whatever mess Celaena was in, seeing that other world in the secret tunnels … all of that had changed everything. The best he could do these days was maintain a low profile – to keep his father or anyone else from looking too long in his direction.”

WHY SARAH??!! WHYYYYY? *breaks down and sobs* Why do you have to use him as a human punching bag? Dorian is so decent and compassionate; he doesn’t deserve to be broken!!! First you hurt him by finding out about Chaol’s and Celaena’s secret, then you kill off his girlfriend and in the end you even let him be forced into the Kings slavery!!?? LIKE SERIOUSLY!!?? WTFH!!?? WTF!!?? I CAN’T WITH THIS ENDING!!! I JUST CAN’T!!! HE SUFFERED ENOUGH!!! I don’t even want to know what is going to happen now that he’s wearing this freaking collar! He saved Chaol’s life! GODDAMNIT!!! GIVE MY BOY A BREAK!!! Sarah, I swear it here and now if Dorian isn’t saved by the end of book 4 I won’t continue to read this series. I just won’t! I know it’s the author’s right and decision to kill off characters or to make them suffer as they please, but I just can’t take it anymore. Dorian is my cutiepie and cinnamon roll and I think my heart hurts enough! I survived 3 books of ACOTAR watching how my precious Lucien went through hell and I just can’t take this anymore. Lucien never got his happily ever after and it still hurts!!! So no, sorry but no! If Dorian isn’t at least halfway alright after “Queen of Shadows” then I’m quitting this series! Period! I made up my mind! There was so much potential to give Dorian’s character a chance to evolve and to be awesome and interesting! So much raw magic that could have been used, but all that happened was that Sorscha died and Dorian sacrificed himself for Chaol. I’m pissed, I’m majorly pissed! And coming from me that means a lot! So yeah, this wrong is better set right or I’m quitting! I’m serious and I mean it! This said:
#TeamDorian forever and for always!!! <333

”He’d been a fool once, swearing he would tear the world apart for Celaena. A boy in love with a wildfire – or believing he was in love with one.”

”Because you’re not really scared of those things, are you? No – it’s what they represent. The change. But let me tell you,” Dorian breathed, his magic flickering and then subsiding in a flash of pain, “things have already changed. And changed because of you. I have magic – there is no undoing that, not getting rid of it. And as for Celaena …” He clamped down on the power that surged as he imagined – for the first time, he realized – what it was to be her. “As for Celaena,” he said again, “you do not have the right to wish she were not what she is. The only thing you have a right to do is decide whether you are her enemy or her friend.”

”We’re all risking something.” There was so little of the friend he’d grown up with. The prince glanced at his pocket watch. “I need to go.” Dorian stalked to the stairs, and there was no fear in his face, no doubt, as he said, “You gave me the truth today, so I’ll share mine: even if it meant us being friends again, I don’t think I would want to go back to how it was before – who I was before. And this …” He jerked his chin towards the scattered crystals and the bowl of water. “I think this is a good change, too. Don’t fear it.”

Aedion Ashryver:

”Handsome was a light way of describing what Aedion was. Overwhelming was more like it. Towering and heavily muscled, Aedion was every inch the warrior rumor claimed him to be.”

I like Aedion! I like him a lot!!! He’s such a tortured soul and he tried everything possible in order to protect his people! He was an intriguing new character and I can’t wait to see more of him. I really liked his interactions with Dorian because they were so much fun! *lol* Those two have a lot of potential to become close friends, but I guess the ending of this book kind of nullified that possibility. Still, I want Aedion’s noble and brave soul to be rescued as well and I don’t even want to know what the king is going to do with him. T_T I hope Aelin returns soon because her boys definitely need her right now! Poor Aedion, he waited for so long!!! And if I’m already at it! He saved Chaol’s ass too, so Chaol better get his groove on! He needs to make plans to save him as well! XD

”Cousin – that had been his most beloved title. Cousin, kin, protector. Those were the secret names he harboured deep within, the names he whispered to himself when the northern wind was shrieking through the Staghorns.”

”Aelin would come back from Wendlyn, no matter what the captain believed. Aelin would come back, and when she did … With every breath, Aedion felt that lingering scent wrapping tighter around his heart and soul. When she came back, he was never letting her go.”

”All you monsters can burn in hell. Because my queen is coming – and she will spike you to the walls of your godsdamned castle. And I can’t wait to help her gut you like the pig you are.” He spat at the king’s feet, right on top of the fake ring that had stopped bouncing.

Rowan:

”She noticed then that his arms were bandaged, and more bandages across his broad chest peeked up from beneath his shirt. She’d burned him again. And yet he had held on to her – had run all the way here and not let go once.”

The fierce, broody and intense warrior! I like him even though I have to admit that his abilities as a teacher kind of lack experience. *lol* Still, he’s a decent fae and despite the way he acted at the beginning of the book his heart actually seems to be in the right place. I loved that he took care of Celaena once he realised why she’s so broken and I suppose their fight at the beginning was kind of necessary. They both needed to let off some steam. XD I genuinely hope we’ll see more of him in the next book, because I feel like there is so much more to tell! 😉

”How – how did you come back from that kind of loss?”
“I didn’t. For a long while I couldn’t. I think I’m still … not back. I might never be.”
She nodded, lips pressed tight, and glanced toward the window.
“But maybe,” he said, quietly enough that she looked at him again. He didn’t smile, but his eyes were inquisitive. “Maybe we could find the way back together.”

Manon:

Silent as death, Manon slid up behind him. The fool didn’t even know she was there until she brought her mouth close to his ear and whispered, “Wrong kind of witch.”

I’M IN LOVE WITH MANON BLACKBEAK!!! This woman is so savage and fierce! I love it! *lol* As it seems for once my prayers were answered! I got more of the iron teeth witches and I loved every single chapter! XD Manon is so damn amazing! I just couldn’t get enough of her and followed her storyline closely. Truth be told, I just want to lean back and watch how her and Abraxos change the world. Haha! I disliked Manon’s grandmother a lot though and even though she became Wing Leader I’m pretty sure there will be some major estrangement in the future. Still, I loved Manon’s connection with Asterin and her Thirteen and I really hope they’ll always be at her side. Maybe Petrah will join them one day? Idk! I truly hope she’ll be fine some day because I really liked her too. >_<

”You’re mine,” Manon said to him.
The wyvern blinked at her, Titus’s blood still dripping from his cracked and broken teeth, and Manon had the feeling that he had come to the same decision. Perhaps he had known long before tonight, and his fight with Titus hadn’t been so much about survival as it had been a challenge to claim her.
As his rider. As his mistress. As his.”

”And Manon, because no one was watching, because she did not care, flung out her arms as well and savoured the freefall, the wind now a song in her ears, in her shriveled heart.”

”You touch him again,” Manon said, “and I’ll drink the marrow from your bones.”

3

Chaol & Dorian:

He met Dorian’s gaze. There was nothing kind in it. But Dorian said, “I’m trying, Chaol.”
Trying, because Chaol’s not consulting him on the plan to get Celaena out of Adarlan had been a breach of trust, and one that shamed him, though Dorian could never know that, either. “I know.”

Oh, those two broke my heart! I really wanted them to solve their problems and then this damn ending came along!!! ARGH! They need a chance to fix all this! Sarah give them a chance, please!? They deserve it! And OMG Chaol told Dorian that he loves him!!! Way too late but he did it!!! <33 I just want my two boys to be happy and friends again. *sobs* They both suffered enough in those last two books, they really deserve some peace!!! And to take away their chance to make amends!! So mean, Sarah! So, so mean!!! >_<

”You think I’d run to my father?” The words were barely more than a strangled whisper as the temperature plummeted.
Chaol stepped forward, putting himself between Aedion and Dorian, his palms exposed. Placating. “I can’t afford to guess – to hope. Even with you.”

”You cannot pick and choose what parts of her to love.” He pitied Chaol, he realized. His heart hurt for his friend, for all that Chaol had surely been realizing these past few months. “Just as you cannot pick which parts of me you accept.”

”He looked at his friend, perhaps for the last time, and said what he had always known, from the moment they’d met, when he’d understood that the prince was his brother in soul. “I love you.” Dorian merely nodded, eyes still blazing, and lifted his hands again towards his father. Brother. Friend. King.

Sorscha & Dorian:

”She usually talked like this when she was nervous. Which, Dorian had noticed with some satisfaction, was when he came near. And not in a bad way – if he’d sensed that she was truly uncomfortable, he’d have kept his distance. This was more … flustered. He liked flustered.”

I suppose their relationship was doomed right from the beginning but I still would have liked it to work out. They were so sweet together, but I can’t shake the feeling that I missed some major parts of their plot. I really wish Sarah would have given us more of them because to me their entire storyline felt kinda rushed. Still, I was glad Sorscha helped Dorian to hide his magic and her being a spy was such an unexpected plot twist. >_< It really killed me when the King ordered her death and I can’t even describe how much Dorian’s pain hurt me! T_T I’m still not over this… probably I’ll never be!

”Yes,” he breathed, and kissed her. It was fast – but her face was flushed, and her eyes wide as he pulled back. His own eyes were wide, gods be damned, and he was still rubbing his thumb against her soft cheek. Still contemplating going back for more, because that hadn’t been nearly enough.”

Celaena & Rowan:

”Why don’t you just bite me again?”
“Why don’t I give you the lashing you deserve?”
He looked so dead set on it that she blinked. “If you ever take a whip to me, I will skin you alive.”

Oh, ho ho! Those two!! So much passion, so much pain! They were quite a sight to behold! *lol* I loved how their initial animosity turned into a solid friendship and I was so glad Celaena finally told someone about her past! This was so damn necessary and I’m glad Rowan was there to listen to her troubles and fears! ❤ I’m sure they’ll become lovers in the future, but as it seems Sarah just wants to torture us a little bit more. ;-P After all she’s good at that, torture seems to be her middle name! XD Bet the J. is just a fib! Haha!

”It was a selfish wish, and a fool’s hope.” She read the rest of it in his eyes. But it came true. “Dangerous, for a prince of ice and wind to pray to the Fire-Bringer,” she managed to say.
Rowan shrugged, a secret smile on his face as he wiped away the tear that escaped down her cheek. “For some reason, Mala likes me, and agreed that you and I make a formidable pair.”

 
4

Okay, I think I ranted enough now. *lol* So yeah, I hope I’ll get my hands on “Queen of Shadows” soon and that my precious Gem will continue this journey with me! I even wrote nice things about Chaol!! That’s got to count! ;-P