Allgemein, Poetry

Death and Despair

Please sweet death come down on me!
Touch me with your black wings
And set my fire free!
Take me to the depths of hell,
Take me to heaven,
I don’t care,
It’s all the same,
It’s all well!

Why do you call for me?
Why should I end your life?
Is there any reason for me?
Is there even a reason for thee?

Oh please sweet death,
Embrace me with black fire,
Take me to another place up higher!
There’s no reason for me to live on,
It went all so wrong!

You little child,
Don’t demand such things from me,
I won’t do you this favour.
It’s not your time to go with me!

But please my dear friend,
It should,
No it must end!
Take me with you on the eternal flight,
Give me the kiss,
It is my right!

You are too young to understand,
The meaning of life and death,
My friend!
I can’t kill people as I please,
I’m not doing this with ease!

You have to help me
Or I’ll gamble my soul!

Young girl,
Don’t make me lose control!
Others plead for their lives,
Stabbed by knifes
Or some shot between the eyes!
Why do you want to die?
Tell me little girl,
Why do you want to make others cry?

I don’t have any reason to live,
My life is so hollow,
I want to follow,
I know I will…
Go to the place without fear,
Go to the place of my dear!

Oh what a fool you are,
It was his fate to die in the car!
And it is your destiny to live on,
Even if it all seems wrong.
I understand your pain,
But all attempts are in vain!
Go and live your life on full expense,
Before it ends!

It sounds so easy but it isn’t true,
You don’t have human feelings,
You know nothing about what
I had to go through!

You may be right,
But I won’t take you
On my flight!

Angel of darkness why are you so cruel?
Even though you rule,
About life and death.
It’s you who’s got the power
In the

I’m dealing with the gift of power.
It’s me who says when it is your last hour!
What’s so bad about life anyway?

It’s the fact that he couldn’t stay!
It’s the fact of standing up every day,
The fact that I’m breathing whereas he’s away!
It are all those feelings that make me sway!
How can I live while he’s dead?
How can I be happy without going mad?
How can I be glad…?
To live…

Young poor girl,
There’s still so much you have to learn.
Yearn for him when you feel like it,
Cry all night to get rid of this hit.
Take your time to mourn,
Take your time,
It is no crime.
But there’s one thing,
I have to tell,
Something he told me,
Before his body fell.

He loved you with every fibre of his heart.
He loved the girl you were,
Oh you’ve been so smart!
There was only one wish he had,
Before he flew towards the moon,
Gazing directly into my empty head.

He wanted you to be strong,
He told me that you have to keep on.
He knew there was nothing he could give,
Except of the gift that you’d live.
He wanted you to have a better life,

He simply wanted you,
To stay alive…

© Virginia Stone

Allgemein, Sassy Antics

Achievements of 2019 & Ideas to improve my blog

Hey there, my lovelies!

Now that the end of the year is approaching fast I thought it might be good to take a closer look at my achievements of 2019. As it seems this is becoming some sort of tradition because last year I did the same thing and it really helped me to go into the next year. It’s always good to remember and to celebrate what we achieved and it certainly gives you a positive outlook into the next year! 🙂

2019 definitely wasn’t any easier than 2018 but either my attitude changed or I’ve already been hit by way too many things to bother any longer. *lol* Maybe it’s both! Idk. I guess you might say I got used to be given lemons and by now I make the best lemonade ever. Haha! Or if you see it in a negative light: I became accustomed to sorrow. *lol* We’re not negative here though so I’ll go with the tasty lemonade theory instead! 😛

This said I’m heading right to my (for me) awesome achievements and the many good things that happened to me in 2019:

–  I’ve been blogging for an entire year now and even though I was sceptical at first I still managed to to run my blog. I don’t even know how I did it but I guess the WordPress option to plan blog posts ahead kind of saved my blogging life. XD I swear, I really wouldn’t know what to do without that one! Let’s hope WordPress never changes this feature. Haha!

– And if we’re already talking about blog posts I might add that I actually accomplished to write 2 blog posts a week, which is a lot if you consider that my time to write is kind of limited. 😀

– Which brings me right to my next achievement and probably the biggest of them all: I went back to work in January and even though I was away from it for 2 1/2 years I still managed to get back into the swing of things. With a little child that just started to go to kindergarten and got every possible illness you can think of it certainly wasn’t easy to cope with everything. For some reason we actually survived that year though. *lol* Believe me when I say that no one is more surprised about that than I am. 😛 Still, to commute 3 hours a day and to be at work 20 hours a week kind of took its toll on me. I think I never was ill as often as the last year and I definitely don’t want to continue in the same vein in 2020.

– Despite everything I still managed to read 77 books this year and exceeded my own expectations. The count is still going so I might even manage to reach 80 before the year is finally over. Considering I only wanted to reach 40 this is more than just a little amazing! ❤ (And hey I even managed to read 17 books of My Book List 2019 and if I’m good it might even turn out to be 22 by the end of 2019!!!)

– I invented a blog meme and a discussion post and I’m working hard on keeping them running. *lol* I’m pretty good with „Hugs’n’kisses OR Dismissed by the Missus/Messrs“ but I definitely will have to put more effort into „Fuss, Cuss & Discuss“. I already have so many topics I want to discuss with you, I just need to make more time and room to write about them. But I’ll eventually get there, I promise! 😉

– I once again continued to write! Which sounds pretty lame but I just love to write and it’s very important to me. I need my poetry, rp-posts, reviews and blog post like I need air to breathe so I’m thankful when I have the time to indulge in it. XD

– Okay, this is getting very personal now but for me this was such a huge step so I need to write it down in here. I came out to my bestie (Not as a faerie, she already knows about that! *lol*) and she was so cool about it that I still can’t believe it actually happened. It was such a relief to tell her and I was so glad for her words and the acceptance she showed me. ❤ She even went to the „Rainbow Parade“ with me and this was just everything!!! I really have no words how much it means to me to finally have someone who supports me and accepts me for who I am and I think I wouldn’t be here writing this if it wouldn’t have been for her! ❤

– I hosted my first giveaway and it was so much fun! I’ll definitely make one in 2020 too and hopefully will combine it with my 250 followers post! (You can always dream, right? *lol*)

– I found the „follow“ button on goodreads and enabled the function which led to me having a ton of followers. *lol* O_o I’m still in awe of the number and I’m so glad that so many people decided to follow my blog on here too. You guys are AMAZING and made of AWESOME SAUCE and I’ll never get tired of mentioning it!!! XD So be prepared to hear it every once in a while! *lol* 😛 But honestly, I’m just thankful you seem to like what I write and I’m aware that I’m very blessed to have you as my friends! ❤

– I went to the Frankfurt Book Fair 2019 with my bestie and for two days I was in book heaven! XD I got to know so many authors and I’m still trying to recover from the massive overload of everything I saw and heard. This fair was just HUGE and no matter how hard we tried, we didn’t even get to see all of it. XD

So anyway enough of me! Since it’s the 25th I also wanted to use this chance to wish you a Merry Christmas!!! I hope you’ll have a wonderful and lovely time with your family and friends and that Santa is nice and will bring tons of books your way! 😉

AND I wanted to ask if you’d be so kind and write down the things you enjoy to read on my blog. 🙂 I’m constantly working on new ideas to improve it and I noticed that there’s content you seem to like more than the rest. *lol* I just want to make sure that the things and topics I write about are still interesting for you and if there are things you’d like to read about that I didn’t even consider yet. 😉

Thank you in advance and thank you for reading through all of this! If you got this far you definitely deserve a medal! Or probably even an award! *lol*



The Sassy Library Fox

Allgemein, P - T, Reviews, T

Review: They Both Die at the End (Adam Silvera)


Rating: 4 Pfoten

”Mateo, I regret to inform you that sometime in the next twenty-four hours you’ll be meeting an untimely death. And while there isn’t anything we can do to suspend that, you still have a chance to live.”

Imagine a stranger calls you in the middle of the night and tells you those exact words. Did you end up in a horror movie? Nope. You’re in the future and by now technology is so advanced that people are informed when they are going to die. But of course there’s a catch. They inform you 24 hours before you die and they neither know how it’s going to happen nor when. A car crash, an elevator, an explosion, choking on food? In three hours, right now when you receive the call, 23 hours and 59 minutes from the moment you’ve been called? Everything is possible.

”I was raised to be honest, but the truth can be complicated. It doesn’t matter if the truth won’t make a mess, sometimes the words don’t come out until you’re alone. Even that’s not guaranteed. Sometimes the truth is a secret you’re keeping from yourself because living a lie is easier.”

So what are you supposed to do? Try to fight it? Stay at home and hope you’re safe there? Go out and live your last day to the fullest? Deny it or rather use the chance to say goodbye to your loved ones? It’s up to you but whatever you do, “Death Cast” is never wrong and sooner or later death will find and claim you. It doesn’t matter if you’re 90 or 5. A mother, father, child, husband, aunt, best friend or a celebrity, death doesn’t care about those things, it makes no difference.

”I look ahead at the empty streets, and I start walking towards Rufus and his bike, walking towards death with every minute we lose, walking against a world that’s against us.”

Mateo and Rufus both received the call and neither of them is able to say goodbye to their loved ones. Rufus made a mistake that caused his friends to be “unavailable” and Mateo’s father is in a coma and won’t even notice when his son dies. Thankfully there’s an app for situations like that (I just loved this! I mean nowadays there’s an app for everything, right? *lol*) and our two boys meet over “Last Friend”. They are both going to die and they decide to spend their last day together…

”You shouldn’t donate to charity, help the elderly cross the street, or rescue puppies in the hopes you’ll be repaid later. I may not be able to cure cancer or end world hunger, but small kindnesses go a long way.”

And here is the moment when I’m finally going to talk about those two young and sweet boys that only have one day left to do whatever they feel like doing. This book really made me think and it certainly caused me to feel. I could relate to their struggle so much and a little part of me broke when Mateo threw his books across the room knowing full well that it wouldn’t matter if they got ripped or destroyed because in a few hours he wouldn’t be there to care about it. There were so many little moments that ripped my heart out. T_T Mateo singing for his dad who couldn’t hear him, Rufus hoping the Plutos would show up, Mateo taking care of his best friend’s kid so she could have a few moments to herself, Rufus thinking that Mateo is pure… IT. BROKE. MY. FREAKING. HEART!

”Entire lives aren’t lessons, but there are lessons in lives.
You may be born into a family, but you walk into friendships. Some you’ll discover you should put behind you. Others are worth every risk.”

What Mateo and Rufus have at the end of their lives is so special! They get to know each other in a way not many people are able to. They speak about the important things, they don’t shy away from difficult topics and they get involved with each other. Without prejudices, without a second thought! But would they have been so open if it wouldn’t have been their last day? I doubt it. There are things you’re too scared to say, things you don’t even dare to think about, but what if the only person that’s holding you back is actually yourself?

I lean in to his ear. “I want to go to Jones Beach and race you to the waves and play in the rain with our friends. But I want quiet nights, too, where we talk about nonsense while watching bad movies.” I want us to have history, something longer than the small window of time we’re actually sharing, with an even longer future, but the dying elephant in the room crushes me.”

I loved that Rufus helped Mateo to find himself and I adored the way Mateo was able to get under Rufus’s skin. What if they would have been given more time together? How much they could have achieved and done; how good they could have lived! It’s just so unfair! Or at least it seems to be like that because if there is one thing you can say about death, then it’s that it’s actually fair. It makes no difference between young or old, married or single, famous or not, good or bad, sick or healthy, queer or straight, happy or unhappy. It’s just death and it … well, it happens. Sooner or later we all have to go. We’re born and we die, whatever happens in the middle is up to us.

”Why can’t we knock on Death’s door and be or barter or arm-wrestle or have a staring contest for the chance to keep living? I’d even want to fight for the chance to decide how I die. I’d go in my sleep.”


I guess you can already tell that this book made me think really hard. To be honest I never stopped thinking about it and I’m pretty sure this is one of those books that will stay with me for quite a while. Adam Silvera painted a vivid picture of a world in which we all know when it’s time to go. Whether this is good or bad is up for discussion and we readers are encouraged to give it some serious thought. The different POVs only add to that thought process and the way all those lives are connected and interwoven gives the reader a profound sense of life and its scope as well as its associated mechanisms. Or in other words: It’s like with the figuratively pebble that’s thrown in the pond. An infinitesimal action has huge consequences.

I won’t tell you how this ends because you know, “They Both Die at the End” or not?? but I will admit that close to the ending my thoughts were all over the place and I found myself yelling: “Oh, sh**! It can’t be!!!”


It’s not the “when” or “what” that will leave your mind reeling, it’s the HOW!!!! AASDFKLASDJFKSDFJASKLDFJSAKLDFJSLD!!!

All told this was a great book that no doubt, will leave its mark.

”There are questions I can’t answer. I cannot tell you how you will survive without me. I cannot tell you how to mourn me. I cannot convince you to not feel guilty if you forget the anniversary of my death, or if you realize days or weeks or months have gone by without thinking about me.
I just want you to live.”

Allgemein, Poetry

World Affairs

So many questions on my mind,
Why are all those people blind?

How come there’s so much rain?
Where is all the grain?

Why are so many people alone?
How come they don’t find a home?

Why is helping never enough?
Because the times are rough?

Why do they cry?
Why are we too shy?

Why is there so much pain on earth?
How much is all this worth?

Who was the first one to start a war?
Who is forcing women to be a whore?

Why is there so much anger?
What’s so bad about being a ganger?

Why do so many people die?
Who says the afterlife is a lie?

Why do some parents abuse their child?
How come people are like animals: wild!

Where did the feeling „sympathy“ go?
Since when does the word „tolerance“ always ends in a row?

When did trust become extinct?
Why is everybody’s heart black and inked?

When did greed become a virtue?
When did they stop to listen, claiming they heard you?

I’ve no answer to all of this,
but I know what I miss!

For you it is a simple word.
For me it’s everything that should be heard!

Through all this madness and despair
It’s love that has to dare,
to question everything in life


it has to thrive!!!

© Virginia Stone


Allgemein, Poetry

Foreign Me

Everything is changing,
Nothing is like it was before,
Wind closes a window
And opens another door.

I’m no longer
The person,
I used to be.
More than ever,
I’m longing
To be me.

So much fake,
So much fate,
So many miles,
It was some long path to take.

People say:
Change is good.
But for me
It’s just one big wood.

I’m following the way,
Steadily walking towards this sunray.
Can’t stop in my tracks,
Branch beneath my feet cracks.

It just happens
This progress.
It’s a mess.

Mirror reflection in the water,
I’m no longer my mother’s daughter.
So alien I’ve become,
My features so different,
I want to run!

This labyrinth is consuming me,
Can’t find my way out,
There’s just another tree.

All those years,
What did they do to me?
I’m blind,
Can’t see.
Some voice is screaming: flee!

Mist is all around,
Knees on the wet ground.
What I’m searching,
It can’t be found.

I’m seeking,
The person I used to be.
My young and innocent me.

© Virginia Stone


Life & Blog Update

Changes on my blog2

Hey there my lovelies,

It’s been a while I last wrote a general update so I thought I might let you know what’s kept me busy over those last few weeks. My allergy is finally mostly gone so I’m once again an ordinary and breathing member of society. *lol* Not that I complain, I mean to breathe is a very vital part of our lives. (Quite literally, I may add! XD Too soon to make jokes about it?)

Well, anyway I’m feeling better now but my job kept me busy and my little one was sick a lot. As it seems we finally found out what caused her to be sick though and now that we know it’s a food allergy, we’ll just avoid that particular sort of food. Why do our kids always inherit our “good” features? *lol* If you ever find out, let me know! 😉

Also – and here I take this post back to my blog – I made some changes that some of you might have noticed already. I started to work with Canva and now I don’t only have a nice “Monthly Wrap-Up” sign but also made some violet/green banners for the main topics of my reviews. =)))

I can’t remember who recommended this page to me, but I’ll forever be grateful for that tip! (Whoever you were, THANK YOU!!! ❤ ) It’s so much fun to work with those tools and I’m sure I’ll use them even more often in future. Of course I’ll try to keep up my own drawings as well! After all I know how many of you love my sassy fox and the paws I created for my ratings. ;-P In future it might just be a mixture of both. XD

And speaking of new changes/inventions! After blogging for half a year I’m very proud that I’ve managed to have at least two blog posts that have become a monthly permanent fixture on my site. From now on you’ll get a monthly wrap up as well as my monthly blog meme “Hugs’n’kisses OR Dismissed by the Missus/Messrs”. I’m kind of toying with the idea of going for one of those weekly famous book tags I see on other blogs, but I really don’t know if I would be able to keep it up. To be a working mom is quite stressful and since I can’t seem to get up more than 2 posts a week, one of these probably won’t do it for me. #TimeManagementIsABitch *lol*

Still, I might not have a lot of time to write my reviews but for some reason I still manage to sneak in a few pages every once in a while. By now my goodreads challenge claims that I’m 14 books ahead of schedule and I’m thinking about upping it to 52. I guess that might be a more realistic approach and I’m sure I could reach that goal. =)

And last but not least! I have 135 followers by now and I’m soo thankful for each and every one of you! ❤ I never thought it would become that many in such a short time and *lol* I think I might have to work on my “disclaimers and privacy policy” soon! I mean I promised you that I’d go for a book lottery once I hit the 150 mark and I get the feeling I might reach this goal rather sooner than later. XD So if you take part in the lottery and win the book I should at least have some sort of privacy policy that will guarantee you that I won’t play fast and loose with your address. *LOL*

If any of you has tips on how to write one of those I’ll send you a virtual fox hug! 😀

Soo, I guess that’s all for now! *the fox said after writing an entire essay* XD

Let me know what you think about the changes on my blog! Do you like them? Hate them? Have a few suggestions and ideas how to improve it even more? I’m all ears and eyes! ;-P

Stay safe and take care! ❤



The Sassy Library Fox


Allgemein, P - T, Reviews, T

Review: The Heart’s Invisible Furies (John Boyne)

Rating: 4 Pfoten


Book 37 on My Book List 2019

”The desire to fall in love and to share one’s life with someone is neither a homosexual nor a heterosexual conceit. It’s human. We’re all suckers for a pretty face or a kind heart. What else can we do but keep hoping that the right person will show up?” – John Boyne

I usually don’t start my reviews with a quote from the author her/himself but I think this one is very important and needs to be read. In my opinion it’s the message John Boyne wanted to convey when he wrote “The Heart’s Invisible Furies” and looking at it in retrospective I could feel it in every single sentence he wrote.

There were the ups and downs of life, everything that happens in between and the “what ifs” that involuntarily come our way and have a tendency to haunt us for the rest of our lives. In the end however the only thing that truly matters is whether we can live with them or not. Whether we can accept our mistakes and grave decisions and if we’re ready to embrace them with all the troubles they entailed.

Of course there’s a fine line between authenticity and exaggeration but Boyne made sure never to cross it. He balanced along it for the duration of the entire book and no matter how absurd some situations seemed to be, no matter how extreme some people’s opinion were, they were never far-fetched. There DO exist Mary-Margarets, Julians and Charles all over this world and it’s realistic to assume that they might eventually cross your way. 😉

In short: This book was amazing!
It was:

Particularly sad,
Hilariously vivid,
Achingly beautiful,
And ridiculously charming.

I loved every minute of it and the characters really grew on me, which is the reason why my characters section is going to be super long again. *lol* As always I need to add my two cents though so #SorryNotSorry. ;-P


Welcome to my characters section! If you already read the book or don’t want to read it but want to know more about the characters, proceed. If you don’t want to be spoiled and still want to read the book, I’d recommend clicking that nice exit button though. It’s your choice, choose wisely. XD


”I’m not sure what it was about my appearance that made me seem like a pubescent rapist but for some peculiar reason I took this as a compliment.”

Aww Cyril was such a precious bean. *lol* I think he was what you’d call an old soul in a young body and it made me sad to read how ashamed and lonely he felt. I could relate to his struggle and why he was afraid to come out, because let’s face it Ireland at that time was not the kind of country you would have wanted to announce that you’re gay. If anyone of the police found you with another man you could go to jail for it and it’s no surprise that Cyril tried to keep it a secret from his family and friends. The problem with secrets is that sooner or later they gnaw on you and eat you alive and this is exactly what happened with Cyril. There was a point he couldn’t pretend anymore and he did what he had to do and ran away. Was it wrong? Yes. Did he have to do it? Yes, because back then he actually had no other choice. If the constitution of an entire land is against you, to leave seems to be the only possible decision, right?

”I had never considered myself to be a dishonest person, hating the idea that I was capable of such mendacity and deceit, but the more I examined the architecture of my life, the more I realized how fraudulent were its foundations. The belief that I would spend the rest of my time on earth lying to people weighted heavily on me and at such times I gave serious consideration to taking my own life.”


”I intend to live a long and healthy life and fuck as many girls as I can. I’d like to die in my bed, aged one hundred and five, with a twenty-two year old bouncing up and down on top of me.”

Ahhh dear Julian… this character made me so sad. I mean he was one of those guys you can’t help but like, he was sassy and knew how to work a crowd, but no matter his big mouth, when it came to the important things he seemed to fail miserably. I mean on the one hand he had countless love affairs and basically made it a hobby to have sex with every woman he found attractive but on the other hand he judged Cyril for being gay and sleeping with many different men. Even more so, he had no problem to accept that Jasper Timson, one of his old classmates, was gay and in love with him, but after all those years he was Cyril’s best friend he was disgusted when he finally told him that he’s gay. Talk about being hypocritical…. And then the way it all ended for him… T_T

”He was arrogant, certainly, and had no respect for authority but he made his pronouncements with such insouciance that I found it impossible not to be charmed by him.”

Mrs. Goggin:

”I remember a friend of mine once telling me that we hate what we fear in ourselves,” she said with a shrug. “Perhaps that has something to do with it.”

I loved her character and she was exactly the kind of woman I always want to find in a book. She was strong and stood by her opinion and even though life handed her some tough cards she never even thought about giving up. Catherine made the best of her life and I loved to see her so happy at the end of the book! Plus, I lived and breathed for those short moments when Cyril’s and her path crossed. They were always very polite and honest with each other and I think she was more of a mother to him than Maude ever was, even when they both had no clue that they were actually mother and son. ❤

”My boyfriends, if I had any, would surely have more sense than to let underage boys wander the corridors unsupervised,” she said, refusing to be intimidated by him. “And I won’t be poked and prodded by priests, do you hear me? Those days are long behind me. So take care not to touch me again.” Mrs. Goggin vs. Father Squires

”You’re a bit of an oddball, Jonathan,” I said. “Has anyone ever told you that?”
“Nineteen people this year alone,” he said. “And it’s only May.”


”The vulgarity of it all,” she said. “Popularity. Readers. I can’t bear it. I knew Charles would destroy my career in the end.”

Haha! Well, Maude certainly was an oddball for sure. *lol* An author who doesn’t want to be popular and writes her books just for herself is definitely unusual, but I guess to some degree I could even understand her. There’s something special about creating a story and the enjoyment you get from writing can be really amazing. It’s just sad that she never was the kind of mother Cyril would have needed but I suppose neither Charles nor Maude were prepared to deal with a little child. They were too used to their own routine and too egoistic to have a child. It’s true they provided him with a roof over his head and with food, which is probably more than some other parents can give, yet they never provided him with love and I think that’s one of the main reasons why it took Cyril so long to accept, let alone to love himself.


”It just doesn’t make sense to manacle yourself sexually to the same person for fifty or sixty years when your relationship with that person can be so much happier if you give each other the freedom to enter and be entered by people of the opposite sex whom you find attractive. A marriage should be about friendship and companionship, not about sex.”

Dear Charles had quite some modern views and I think deep down inside of him he was actually an okay kind of guy. *lol* Still, I really disliked that he always told Cyril that he’s not a real Avery. Even when he had to go to jail for the very first time, he made it pretty clear that Cyril was only his adoptive child and not his „real“ child and this distinction never sat well with me. I mean Cyril was their son in every sense of the word and even though his parents treated him like a stranger, he still loved them the way only a child can do. I was so sad when Charles died, but somehow it also made me happy that he acknowledged Cyril at the end. He had to hear those words and I’m glad Charles eventually said them. =)

”Oh good. Because you’re not a real Avery, don’t forget.”
“Yes, I knew that too,” I said smiling.
“But I’m glad we adopted you,” he added. “You’re a good boy. A kind boy. You always were.”


Cyril & Julian:

”When we see each other at family functions, I’ll be polite to you so no one finds out the truth. But don’t ever think that I feel anything towards you other than total and utter loathing. And if you dropped dead on your honeymoon, I’d cry no tears over you.”

Their story broke my heart into thousand little pieces! I was devastated when Cyril confessed his love to Julian!! Julian’s reaction was so bad; it was every nightmare come true, every doubt and every second of guilt centred on that one single moment. It was a hit right in the stomach and it hurt so, so much. T_T I mean there was a reason why Cyril never told him and instead of proving him wrong, Julian reacted exactly how Cyril expected him to. This is our biggest fear, to show our true self and to be rejected for it. For poor Cyril this nightmare became reality. I mean I understand Julian’s POV too, it was horrible that his best friend was about to ditch his sister right in front of the altar but damn if he just would have stopped for a little moment and thought things through. To force Cyril to marry Alice was the worst thing he could have done and he did it without hesitation. And then… after all those years, after everything that happened Julian saw him once again. In a hospital bed, having AIDS. Gosh, this was so damn sad. I mean after all the girls Julian was with this didn’t really come as a surprise… but still. It was heart-breaking nevertheless. They got a last chance to talk and to make their peace with each other and even though it made me cry like a little girl that moment was so important and necessary and … T_T I can’t even. I’m crying just thinking about it. When Cyril held Julian and told him to let go… *sobs uncontrollably* Despite all their differences, despite all the bad blood and anger between them, they were friends in the end and Julian died in the arms of Cyril. T_T

”And we’re enemies now, are we?” I asked.
“We’re not friends, that’s for sure.”
“We used to be.”

How many times throughout my youth had I dreamed of such a moment and now all I could do was bury my face in his back and weep.
“Cyril…” whispered Julian.
“Just let go,” I whispered back.

Alice & Cyril:

”It’s not the name that’s gay, you know.”
“No, they think Cyril is you and that we’ve got back together.
“Would you like that, Alice?”
“I’d rather bore a hole to the centre of the earth with my tongue. Why, would you?”
“Very much. I miss your body.”
“Oh, shut up.”

I loved those two! *lol* I mean I could understand why Alice gave Cyril a hard time after he left her at their wedding reception, but the nice thing was that she eventually came around and became his best friend in the end. I guess to have a son together might have helped as well but I always liked Alice and unlike her brother she was a very compassionate and sympathetic person. I think it was due to those attributes that she and Cyril got along way better after they had a talk and even though she made a lot of fun about him not coming to certain events they both took it with humour and were able to laugh about it in the end. =) So yes, their relationship filled me with hope and joy and I was very glad that Cyril managed to make amends with Alice.


“The Heart’s Invisible Furies” was a wonderful book. It forced me to feel the entire bandwidth of human emotions and at times it was so hilarious that I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. The characters were unique and realistic and the irony of certain situations was spot on. It was as much a tale about Cyril’s life as it was a story about Irish history and if you like interwoven and intricate stories I’m sure you’ll love this one! 😉


Of Allergies And Sinister Pollen

Hey there, my lovelies!

Just in case you wondered why I was so silent over those last few days:

I’m ill. >_<

Well, at least that’s the short explanation. The long one is that I’m allergic to pollen and that the sinister collective of all hazel bushes and bi(t)rches in Austria obviously decided to give me hell. So I’m basically suffering from allergy induced asthma right now and as if that wouldn’t have been enough my weakened immune system managed to pick up bronchitis as well. I mean I’m usually a nice host, but I didn’t invite this bronchitis to my party so urgh! >_<

Anyway! The end result of this nice little pollen and germ celebration is that I have a tough time breathing and that my coughing fits (and all the other nice symptoms you usually have when you’ve a decent bronchitis) aren’t really helping as well.

What it comes down to is that I need to rest and that it might take a few days until I’m able to get up another post. So I’m still alive and kicking, but I can’t be as active as I’m used to right now.

This said I sincerely hope spring is way nicer to you than it is to me. XD

Still, I might not be able to write anything atm but I’m still around and will read your blog posts and comments whenever I feel a little bit better.

So what have you been up to?
What are you currently reading and is it any good?
Are you allergic too and if yes how are you coping with it?

Tell me! I’m here to listen (and reply)! *lol*



The Sassy (slightly battered) Library Fox

Allgemein, Poetry

Tainted Heart

The silence that surrounds me,
It’s so intense.
How is it even possible
no one sees through my pretense?
Is it really such a good defence?

I’ve hidden for so many years,
so afraid someone might see my tears.
My hidden desires
my countless insecurities and fears.
But what does it even matter
after all those years?

I’ve lost myself
in doubt and despair.
Played my role,
followed all those rules
just to realize I no longer care.

But how to stop?
How to speak the truth?
How to dare?
I no longer get some air!

The mask I wear
it’s suffocating.
Everything I do,
it’s so frustrating.

I can’t go on,
I can’t go back,
all that’s left is deep regret.

I no longer know what’s true,
I don’t have a clue.
I’m so lost,
I just don’t know what to do.

Allgemein, Sassy Antics

100 followers celebration post

Hey there my lovelies! ❤

I just got my 100th follower and I’m EXCITED AS HELL!!! AHHHHHH!!! I can’t even! That has been my goal until the end of 2019 and we still have January so I’m kind of flipping out here. *lol* In a very good way of course! 😉 If it continues like that my book raffle when I hit 150 followers will be soon. XD

Anyway since I hit the 100 followers mark (that sounds so nice, doesn’t it? *lol*) I decided to give you some sort of a treat. I didn’t do a book tag for quite a while now and I just resolved that this would be a nice opportunity to give you a chance to ask me some questions. With book tags you always have predetermined questions you have to answer, but this time around it will be your questions I’ll answer. 😉 There’s only so much you can write down in your “About Me” section and I’m pretty sure you might have very interesting and creative questions for me. =)

So whatever you want to ask me: I’m here and will answer your questions honestly and truthfully in my next blog post.

(Well as honest and truthful as a cunning and silver tongued faerie like me can be. ;-P)

Whoopsie. Were you even able to read that small print? *lol*

Never mind! Ask me about my favourite colour, book, character, ice cream or whatever else you can think of! I promise I won’t bite. (Okay, maybe just a little. XD) This is your chance to fill in some blank spots or to get rid of some of your question marks.

Choose wisely and fire away! ;-P


The Sassy Library Fox


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