Review: Of Mice and Men (John Steinbeck)

Rating:

Book 8 on My Book List 2023

”An’ whatta I got, ”George went on furiously. “ I got you! You can’t keep a job and you lose me ever’ job I get. Jus’ keep me shovin’ all over the country all the time. An’ that ain’t the worst. You get in trouble. You do bad things and I got to get you out.”

The problem or the blessing (it depends on your point of view) of being a reader in the 21^st century is that you are a critical thinker and question things. For me, personally, this makes it somewhat hard to enjoy the classics because whenever I read one I totally get what the author wanted to tell us, but I’m never happy with the way it’s done. I’m aware that this is mostly a “me-problem” because if I’d be able to shut down the feminist in me I might be able to enjoy a lot of the classics. I mean we all know how women were seen in the past and that they weren’t treated nicely. It’s a fact, it’s history, it shouldn’t grate on me the way it does whenever I read a classic, but it unfortunately does. So here I am, once again with an unpopular opinion about a classic that is beloved by many. But what can I say? I like to be a critical voice every once in a while so yeah #SorryNotSorry

”Look, Lennie. You try to keep away from him, will you? Don’t never speak to him. If he comes in here you move clear to the other side of the room. Will you do that, Lennie?”

Anyway! Let’s get back to business and talk about what “Of Mice and Men” is about. For such a short story this one packs quite the punch and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for most of the characters involved. George and Lennie are two migratory workers in California that work on different farms to make a living. They never stay at a place for all too long because Lennie always seems to get them into trouble and the book starts right after one of those incidents that happened in a city named Weed. The two men are on the road again and make their way to another farm in order to get hired. So far so good. Or it would have been if trouble wouldn’t have sought them out again.

”Lennie was jus’ scairt,” he explained. “He didn’t know what to do. I told you nobody ought never to fight him. No, I guess it was Candy I told.”

Steinbeck didn’t only want to portray the life of migratory workers in California, no, he also described the American dream of wanting to have land or a place to call your own. The American Dream is something that’s mentioned throughout the entire book and Lennie and George constantly dream of a future on their own farm. It’s their dream that makes it possible to move on and to fight through all the obstacles, but sometimes dreams just aren’t enough. A lesson that is taught the hard way in this book.

Candy cried, “Sure they all want it. Everybody wants a little bit of land, not much. Jus’ som’thin’ that was his. Som’thin’ he could live on and there couldn’t nobody throw him off of it.”

The harsh reality is that George is taking care of Lennie in the best way he can. He promised his aunt to look after him before she died and he tried his best to keep that promise. At the time the book takes place in, they are already as close as brothers are and despite George’s harsh words, you can feel that he truly cares about Lennie. It’s obvious he grew on him and that part of why George wants to have his own farm is because he knows that Lennie and him would be set for life and not get into dangerous situations anymore. It’s never explicitly stated on the pages but I think it’s pretty obvious that Lennie has an intellectual disability and would have been a special education kid in modern times. The strength he isn’t able to control and the fact George always has to repeat everything for him because he can’t remember things is a sure sign Lennie would have needed more support than he actually got. But times were different back then and people didn’t think about keeping kids like him safe. Lennie is so innocent, yet at the same time he has the strength of a bear. He doesn’t understand the world he lives in and is extremely gullible. I think in his own way Steinbeck wrote a Greek tragedy here and you can’t help but feel so very sad about what happens.

Her face grew angry. “Wha’s the matter with me?” she cried. “Ain’t I got a right to talk to nobody? Whatta they think I am, anyways? You’re a nice guy. I don’t know why I can’t talk to you. I ain’t doin’ no harm to you.”

Speaking of which! Am I the only one who disliked the “Curley’s wife” aspect of the book? I know Steinbeck used this as a stylistic device to show how a character that didn’t even have its own name was able to set everything in motion. Curley’s wife seemingly has no character, yet her power over Lennie influences his future and turns out to be extremely detrimental for his well-being. I see what Steinbeck did there but I feel for poor Curley’s wife because she wasn’t only just used as a device but also done dirty. Literally every one of the men in this book curses her and speaks badly of her and the thing is, she didn’t do anything to justify this reaction. They all think she’s a harlot just because she wants to talk with the men on the farm. That woman was lonely and only wanted to talk to someone to feel less alone, but unfortunately for her she was pretty as well and apparently “lonely & pretty” equals harlot.

”You God damn tramp,” he said viciously. “You done it, di’n’t you? I s’pose you’re glad. Ever’body knowed you’d mess things up. You wasn’t no good. You ain’t no good now, you lousy tart.”

I feel so sorry for her because even after she’s dead it’s all her fault and Candy calls her a “lousy tart”. It wasn’t her fault that Curley was possessive and aggressive towards everyone who just dared to look her way. That was Curley’s problem, not hers. This woman was lonely and too young to be kept at home all day long. Between a rock and a hard place she chose a life with Curley because she hoped for a better future which makes her a dreamer just like all the other characters in this book. What makes this even more tragic is that once she actually gets her will and finally talks to someone it ends with her being dead. Talk about a nice message to the reader. If women are left to their own devices they do something stupid and die. Nice touch, Steinbeck. Thank you for that great reminder.

Lennie said, “I thought you was mad at me, George.”
“No,” said George. “No, Lennie, I ain’t mad. I never been mad, an’ I ain’t now. That’s a thing I want ya to know.”

But enough of me being a sarcastic little sh*t and back to the book. XD For Lennie it ends the only way it can end and I kinda anticipated this from the moment I started to read the book. I didn’t know how it would end, but it was clear as day that it wouldn’t end well. At least not for Lennie. I suppose also not for George because he truly cared about Lennie and loved him in his own way…

I can see why so many people consider this book to be a classic and why it’s read in schools all over the world. It might be a short story but it packs a good punch. Plus “Of Mice and Men” is certainly one of those books that causes you to think. Unfortunately, those thoughts turned out to be rather disadvantageous for the book in my case. So what it comes down to is that I liked reading the book, that I see what Steinbeck wanted to do, but that I ultimately don’t like how the plot was executed. I know, I know. You’re allowed to get your pitchforks and to run after me. Just make sure to give me a little head start. *lol* Thanks! ;-P

ARC Review: Olympic Enemies (Rebecca J. Caffery)

Rating:

*I received this book as a free eBook ARC from NetGalley and The Wild Rose Press, Inc in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for approving my request.*

”We fell asleep perfectly slotted together, my arm wrapped around his frame, holding him against my chest. Part of me never wanted to let go, and the other part was scared to death about what that might mean.”

When I went into this book I expected to get an m/m from enemies-to-lovers romance that played during the Olympic Games and I’m really happy to say that this was exactly what I got. Sure not everything about this book was perfect, but if you don’t overthink every single moment you’ll have a really good time and just page through it. At least that’s what I did and I enjoyed the book immensely. So first things first: Let’s address the big elephant in the room, the love story between Lucas and Oliver.

I personally loved their chemistry and the way they grated on each other. I always enjoy a good “from enemies-to-lovers” trope but very often authors don’t dare to actually go for it because it’s not easy to create two characters that dislike or even hate each other at first and then fall in love. To write this trope is certainly a challenge, but I think Rebecca J. Caffery did a good job with it. At the beginning of the book Lucas and Oliver are clearly not all too happy to be forced to share a room together but they just grit their teeth and go with it because they are both adults and they know how to be professional. Or well, at least that’s what they think until they actually share said room together. It doesn’t take long before they are at each other’s throats and the tension that built up between them over the course of four years almost gets the better of them. The thing is whatever the tension between them, it’s most definitely not entirely hostile and they both realize this pretty quickly when they go at each other without anyone to interrupt their fights.

I really lived and breathed for this because you could see their struggle while they tried to make sense of their attraction. It was always there and had been there for a long time, but none of them ever considered acting on it, or at least not until they were suddenly thrown in a room together without anyone who could stop them from doing something extremely irresponsible and stupid. Some might say the change from enemies to lovers went too quickly and I can see why some people would come to this conclusion, but I personally think it was done well. Those two boys had four years to check each other out and I’m sure if they’d have opened up to each other sooner they certainly would have been a couple already. It just took the Olympics to get them in a room together and to force them to talk. Also I don’t think Oliver was mean because he invited Lucas to tag along with the team but didn’t really expect him to say “yes” or kind of hoped he’d say “no”. If you’ve tried to befriend someone for four years and that person always declines your invitations you’ll get frustrated. It’s only natural and human. Plus and this is important Oliver, Tom and Julius are best friends and Lucas was busy with school and graduating. It couldn’t have been easy for Lucas to always turn them down, but he probably always felt uncomfortable with the group because it’s not easy to befriend three best friends that already have their inside jokes etc. So yes, I could understand both sides and was okay with the way they thought about each other at first. Once they hit it off, though! Oh, boy!

What are you saying, you want to sleep together again? Why?”
“Again and again and again,” I added because why the fuck not. I could see, from the sparkle in his eyes and how the tip of his ears burnt red beneath his auburn curls, he was considering it.

Their interactions were amazing and full of sass and their banter was great! I always love it when people are honest and direct and those two knew exactly what they wanted and didn’t beat about the bush. It was really refreshing to see them just go for it and the fact they spoke about what they liked was something I truly appreciated. Of course they both think it’s only sex, for the reader it’s pretty clear it isn’t just sex, though. They were just too cute together and the way they cared about each other spoke volumes even if they tried to deny it all the time. I think they needed to have a go at each other in order to open up and to be able to get to know each other. And there were a lot of things they didn’t know about the other which brings me right to the surprising and well done grief rep of this book.

”I ran my fingers softly through his curls and in his sleep he shuffled closer to me until he had a leg thrown over my thigh. Lucas Evans was killing me and it was fucking ridiculous. He’d always been gorgeous, but it was so much easier to despise him when he was moody and set on going at this alone. Now, not so much.”

I didn’t expect to find a grief representation in this story but in my opinion it was done very well and the effect it had on the characters involved was pretty realistic. The focus clearly wasn’t on the grief rep and it was just a tiny part of the overall picture, but it really helped to understand where the characters were coming from. As the plot moves along we find out more and more about Lucas’s and Oliver’s backgrounds and why they are the way they are and this added a lot to my enjoyment of the book. As did the fact that this story played in the Olympic village and that we got to read about the competitions and sport events as well as the male gymnastics team practicing their routines on the floor. This aspect of the book was very interesting and I liked it a lot. I don’t know anything about gymnastics so I have no idea if the representation of the sport was done well. As a layman all I can say is that I enjoyed what I read and that it worked for me so please take this with a grain of salt if your knowledge about gymnastics is more extensive than mine. What I CAN say (as someone who danced professionally for years and took quite some injuries from it) is that the topic of a career in a physically demanding sport was handled very realistically and that I could relate to it. If you are an athlete you learn the limits of your body pretty quickly and to be at the Olympics is a one-time opportunity you have to grab with both of your hands.

He performed a full spin like it was nothing, like his feet were glued to the six inches of wood below him. “Was this worth losing two hundred pounds over?” he asked, arms fully extended in the air as he steadied himself for what I was sure was going to be a flawless flip sequence. 
“Every penny,” I commented as I leant back against the chalk pit and followed the curve of every muscle as he flipped once, twice, and a third time to the other side of the beam without a single wobble. I’d always admired him on the floor, to the point I don’t think I appreciated he could be just as good on any other apparatus. He’d truly proven me wrong. His balance was impeccable.”

To be honest, just to read about how much Oliver appreciated Lucas’s skill made me happy because it’s one of those things only someone who does sports can understand. There is some beauty to moving your body in time, an invisible rhythm to your movements that causes you to lose track of time and allows you to live in the moment. It’s not just a pleasure if you do it yourself, you also gain so much enjoyment from just watching someone doing something they love and are good at as well. I absolutely adored this aspect of the book because it wasn’t just visible when they were on the mat but also when Oliver and Lucas watched each other secretly without the other even noticing. It was a lovely analogy and fit perfectly to them and their mutual love for gymnastics. I see what you did there, dear author. 😉

”I wanted to wrap Oliver up and protect him from the world and that wasn’t normally how I felt towards anyone other than my best friend and my family. Yet Oliver had wormed his way into a place quite close to my heart and even if I didn’t want to admit it right now, this was way more than sex for me.”

All told I had a really great time with “Olympic Enemies” and the book gave me everything I signed up for. Lucas and Oliver were a cute couple and their way from enemies to lovers might have been a little bit fast but also comprehensible. The banter and the friendships were amazing and I had a good time reading about the Olympic Games. If there was one thing I didn’t like about the book then it was the fact that the ending was too abrupt. I really would have liked to see some sort of exploration of the aftermath of the Olympics and how the characters dealt with their new reality. I guess that’s just a personal preference though and I can live with the ending the way it is. If you like m/m books about sports, the enemies-to-lovers trope and great friendships this book definitely might be a good read for you.  

trigger warnings:
public outing by the press, grief rep – mention of the death of a partner and unborn child, injury

Review: One Last Stop (Casey McQuiston)

Rating: ,5

Book 26 on My Book List 2021

”Does it ever, like … I don’t know. Make you lonely? To love somebody who can’t meet you there?”
She regrets it immediately, but Annie laughs.
“Sometimes. But, you know, that feeling? When you wake up in the morning and you have somebody to think about? Somewhere for hope to go? It’s good. Even when it’s bad, it’s good.”

Let me get this off my chest before I dive right into my review: I really loved this book! There were so many good topics in here and the found family trope was so strong it made my heart feel full! ❤ Funnily enough despite all that, I didn’t write down all too many quotes and I can’t say a lot about the individual characters. When I read RWARB I had so many quotes and wrote such a long review but when I read “One Last Stop” I didn’t feel like marking all too many passages? I think this is mostly due to the fact that RWARB was a very political book (I mean with a relationship between the son of the president of the USA and the English prince it kinda has to be, right?!) and therefore tackled a lot of important topics. Not that “One Last Stop” didn’t do this too. It was just more subtle and woven into the story so effortlessly that you had to pay attention to actually see the fine nuances. Also this story was definitely more focused on the mystery of Jane’s former life and how she ended up on the train than it was on taking a political stance on important themes.

”I wasn’t a builder. I wasn’t a leader. I was a fighter. I cooked people dinner. I took them to hospital. I stitched them up. But I only stayed long enough to take the good, and I always left when the bad got bad.”

I think this quote just about sums it up! As a lesbian Jane was a part of historical change and basically lived and breathed LGBTQIA+ history before she got stuck on the Q line. This is part of her and her life but it wasn’t the main topic of the book and the question of how exactly Jane landed in a time loop on the train was definitely the focus of the story. This made the book very enjoyable to read and it was easy to page through it and to get carried away by the current of the tale. If you ask me this was actually some sort of mystery with a romance element because even though this book is about August’s and Jane’s love story it’s also about solving Jane’s dilemma of being stuck.

”August’s mom saved one tupperware tub of files on her brother and not a single one of August’s baby pictures.”

Of course there are other plotlines as well and August’s relationship with her mum was one of them. It made me really sad to read about the effect her missing uncle had on their lives and the portrayal of people who never get closure was very realistic. If someone goes missing you can’t say goodbye because you always hold on to the hope that the person is still living so while I understand August’s mum, I still couldn’t help but feel sorry for August. The impact on her life was extreme and it’s no surprise her and her mum didn’t have a good relationship.

The top of Wes’s head pops up from under the table, along with one accusatory finger.
“Nobody asked the fucking Long Island Medium.”
Niko smiles. “Lucky guess. My third eye is closed tonight, baby. but thanks for confirming.”
Wes gapes at him. “I hate you.”

Thankfully August moved in with a bunch of adorably crazy people and I loved them ALL! I swear the found family in this was amazing and I really would have loved to be a part of their group too. Alone their conversations had me cracking up so much and the dynamics between them were chefs kiss. *lol* Niko and Wes were so hilarious and Myla was just precious! I think of all of Augusts friends Niko was my favourite. I loved his humour and the fact that he was such an all knowing medium. XD Niko is also a transgender boy and it really made me happy how unproblematic this revelation was. It was so, so nice to see that brief interaction between him and August. It was a quiet and gentle scene and done so well.

And now comes the topic no one ever seems to talk about when they are talking about “One Last Stop”: The awesome drag queen rep! I mean the queens and their community are a constant part of the entire book and yet I’ve never heard anyone talk about the rep! Not only is there something going on between Wes and Isaiah (aka Annie Depressant) but they play such an important role in the plot as well! I absolutely adored finding out about all the different queens and their performances and how they lived off-stage. They were all Queens and I loved each and every single one of them so much! <333 I kinda loved how McQuiston didn’t only tackle different LGBTQIA+ reps but also let us know about their history and just embedded it into the story. This is great storytelling right there! 😉

”Before August can get the threat out, Jane twists her around, backing her into the doors of the train. She pins August at the hips, shoulders braced against hers, hand wrapped around her racing pulse at the wrist, and August can feel Jane like lightning in her veins.”

And now to the part you probably waited for: The romance between August and Jane! First of all, I loved Jane and I can’t blame August for falling for this girl! I mean Jane is the full package! She’s kind, she’s funny and cheeky, she is bubbly and so many other things, plus I could relate to her. That scene when she danced in the train… could have been me. Honestly. *lol* And secondly, I was such a sucker for the f/f rep! Finally a realistic rep between two women! Usually f/f relationships in books feel wooden or sterile to me but this one was amazing! You could feel their love and longing and I gobbled it up like nobody’s business. XD So thank you Casey McQuiston for gifting us with this awesome representation! Finally an author who knows how to write f/f relationships. ❤

”I look at you, and it feels like I’m realer than I’ve ever been, from right here.” She covers August’s hand with hers. “So big it burns. God, August, it’s beautiful, but it hurts so bad.” And, damningly, “You’re the reason I feel like this.”

Still, I feel like I need to warn you about the PDA in this book because some people might not be okay with it. I mean the book plays on a subway train because Jane is bound to it and it’s a romance so it’s pretty obvious that the MCs are spending all their time together in public. I know some readers might be sensitive to content like this so I decided to mention it in my review as well. For me, personally, it worked. I mean yes, they are kissing and touching and one scene was a little bit too intense for my taste (at least when it’s done like that in public) but the other occupants of the train never seem to notice or care and the real steamy scenes actually almost always (except of that one exception) happen when the train is empty and they are the only passengers. If you pick up the book you should be aware of this! 😉

All told I enjoyed “One Last Stop” immensely and I can highly recommend it if you’re in search of a good f/f rep! The paranormal element brought a very unique and nice touch to the story and even though it was a fairly slow tale it still managed to keep me interested. The little newspaper articles and reports at the beginning of every chapters added a realistic depth to the story and I really liked to read them and to find out more about Jane’s past. Also the writing style is easier to get into than it was in RWARB. I loved this and I’m sure a lot of people will end up enjoying this book too! =)

Review: One of Us Is Next (Karen M. McManus)

Rating:

”Phoebe Lawton, you’re up first! Text back your choice: Should I reveal a Truth, or will you take a Dare?”

Guess after “One of Us Is Lying” we all know that you better take the dare, right? Well, if you want to find out what Phoebe did you’ve to read the book, because this review is going to be spoiler free. ;-P
So this out of the way, what is “One of Us Is Next” about? It basically plays one year after Simon’s death and the events that followed. This time around there are three different POVs though. One of them is Maeve Rojas (Bronwyn’s sister that already was a side-character in book one) and the other two are Knox Mayers (Maeve’s best friend) and Phoebe Lawton. In this second instalment the plot is all about Truth or Dare. There is a mysterious person named Unknown who threatens to expose a secret of the chosen people if they don’t take the dare. So you either take the dare or your secret gets spilled and everybody and their grandma will talk about it.

”And then I remember why About That was so popular for so long. Because even though I hate Unknown, and it freaks me out that they revealed a secret I thought would never get out, and the idea of another Simon Kelleher prowling around Bayview High is straight-up nauseating – I can’t help being curious.
What’s going to happen now?”

Well, and that’s basically the concept on which this book is built. Who is going to be next and will they choose truth or dare? I’ve to admit this was an intriguing concept and that I really liked the characters. I already loved Maeve in “One of Us Is Lying” and Knox and Phoebe were two really likable voices as well. I loved that Phoebe was a very unapologetic and straight forward character and that she challenged the narrow-minded perception of people. She’s actually a feminist and I loved that about her. XD

”Really? Let me see if I have this straight. If I do what you want, I’m a slut. If I don’t do what you want, I’m a tease. What I want doesn’t count, but you’re the big man at Bayview no matter what. Does that about sum it up?”

Another thing that made me happy was to see more of the Bayview Four and how they did after all the events that happened in the first book. It was so wholesome to see where they are standing now and that despite everything that happened they were all doing good and leading a happy life. =) Also Bronwyn and Nate!!! AHHHH! Still, I kinda wish I would have reread the first book before this one though, because I couldn’t really remember Luis and had a tough time to place him in the events of “One of Us Is Lying”. But that’s just personal preference and doesn’t take away any of the enjoyment. 😉

”I was thinking about this stupid game last night, and how it has everybody dancing like puppets on a string. Whoever’s behind Truth or Dare is on a massive power trip. And the thing is, we’re giving them that power. By caring. Reacting. Spending all our time worrying about who’s next and what’s true. We’re feeding the beast and I, for one, am done.”

All told this book was great and entertaining. What made me like it slightly less than its predecessor was the mystery element, though. While I could guess and rack my brain in the first book I didn’t really get a chance to do that in here. I was able to unfold about 50% of the mystery but I would have never been able to discover the other 50%. There just wasn’t enough information to reveal everything properly and this was kind of a letdown. Still, “One of Us Is Next” was a nice book to read in between and I don’t regret it. I just wish I would have gotten a chance to wrack my brain a little more. *lol*

Review: On the Come Up (Angie Thomas)

Rating: ,5

Book 6 on My Book List 2021

”You’re gonna face a whole lot of Longs and Tates in your life, baby. More than I’d like. But you never let their actions determine what you do. The moment you do, you’ve given them the power. You hear me?”

So I thought long and hard about what to write about “On the Come Up” and to be completely honest I’m none the wiser. I mean I liked the book and read it pretty fast, but unfortunately that doesn’t mean that I didn’t have issues with it. I know, I know. A lot of people will be like: “WHAT?” now and I don’t blame you guys for it. I can only give you my honest opinion though and so that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Let’s hope I’ll be eloquent enough to put this into words.

”This Glock, yeah, I cock it, and aim it,” I write. Wait, no, something should come before that. Aim it. Ain’t it. Frame it… Claim it.”

This said, first things first. There were a lot of things I enjoyed and one of them was Bri’s thought process and how it was portrayed. I definitely found myself in this because for someone who started to write poetry as a young teen this was very relatable. The way she came up with lines and words and then rearranged them in order to give them an impact and meaning was pretty amazing and for me it was obvious that Angie Thomas is a great lyricist as well. You can’t come up (see what I did there ;-P) with lines like these if you don’t have a feeling for the rhythm and flow of poetry.

”Jay really did leave me and Trey at our grandparent’s house. She couldn’t take care of us and her drug habit, too. That’s when I learned that when people die, they sometimes take the living with them.”

Another thing I enjoyed were the little bits of wisdom you could find throughout the entire book and of course the representation of the characters. Just like in “The Hate U Give” there were a lot of different topics that were explored. This time around the theme of police violence was only broached lightly and the focus was more on drug dealing/abuse, the perception of people, their prejudices and how they react to the characters. No matter if it was the incident with Tate and Long that bullied and picked on black kids in Bri’s school or how the Crowns reacted to Bri’s rap lines, all those moments showed that there’s still a lot of work to do.

”I bite the inside of my cheek. I could take these, but the moment I walk out of here with them, I’m fucked. We’re fucked. It means we’ve gotten to the point that we need shoes that someone decided to give away.
I don’t wanna be that person. Yet I think I am that person.”

Also the representation of being poor was very well done, too. The initial bitterness and shame people feel when they are forced to ask for help, yet they know that they have no other choice than to seek aid. If you ask me, it’s the first step in the right direction though. I’ve been working at an NGO for years now and I know this first step is always the hardest to take. To ask for help is tough, because it means you have to acknowledge the fact that you can’t solve your troubles on your own and it takes a lot of courage to admit this to yourself. I really loved Jay’s character because she did everything she could in order to give her kids what they needed. There is no shame in being poor and about 98% of the human population aren’t born with a silver spoon in their mouth.

”So, Ms. Reporter,” I say, “and anybody else who wanna call ‘On the Come Up’ this, that, or whatever the hell else. Do it. Hell, get the song taken down if you want. But you’ll never silence me. I got too goddamn much to say.”

So this all said let’s come to the part of the book I didn’t like and that left some sort of bitter taste in my mouth. The first thing I’ve to mention is that I couldn’t really relate to Bri and her actions. I found myself agreeing with her mother and her brother and even though I know that she was angry and hurt by their situation I still think that the way she reacted only made everything even worse. Of course we can say, she’s just a teen, impulsive and doesn’t know better but quite honestly, to go at the reporter like that, to attack that guy in the studio, if she would have just thought about it for a second she would have known that all those actions would only be for her detriment. Plus even her friends, who are the same age as her, told her that it’s not okay, yet she still insisted that her way was the only way. Bri was stubborn, juvenile and completely incapable to reflect on what she did. If everyone in your family and every single one of your close friends tells you, you’re doing something wrong, well, then you might actually DO something wrong! And what truly bothered me, is that there was no character arc that would have shown she realized her mistakes.

”Promise you gon’ get outta the Garden.”
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“Promise that you gon’ do whatever you gotta do to make it. Promise like it’s the last thing you’ll ever promise me.”

Quite the contrary, the entire book she fights with her friends because they try to start a movement by using the official channels and work on changing things in a sensible manner, at times she’s downright rude to her mother and to be entirely honest here, she hung out with her aunt Pooh who is a drug dealer (I know she loved her aunt but she was still a drug dealer who obviously did real shady stuff on a regular basis) and even worse she told her aunt about the gang members, knowing exactly how she would react. What did she expect? That aunt Pooh would go to them and ask them nicely? Gangs don’t do things the nice way; it always ends in blood. No one can tell me that Bri wasn’t aware of the consequences this would entail and yet she still did it. I know a lot of people will disagree on this with me but it felt that way while I read the book and this is my opinion. You don’t have to like it or to agree with it, I just want you to respect it.

”If I’m nothing else, I’m them, and they’re me.
That’s more than enough.”

All told this was a solid and good book! It tackled a lot of important topics and Angie Thomas did an excellent job at exploring them. She portrayed poverty, injustice and prejudices and conveyed the message that you should always make use of the power of your voice. Unfortunately for me Bri’s voice wasn’t as relatable and strong as Starr’s and I had quite some trouble to understand her actions. There happened so many things in here yet oddly enough I found myself not as emotionally engaged as I was when I read THUG. I guess we could always say it’s not the book it’s me and maybe that’s right, but maybe it’s not. 3,5 paws and a lot of mixed feelings on top.

Review: One Day in December (Josie Silver)

Rating:

Book 39 on My Book List 2019

”We stare straight at each other and I can’t look away. I feel my lips move as if I’m going to say something, God knows what, and all of a sudden and out of nowhere I need to get off this bus. I’m gripped by the overwhelming urge to go outside, to get to him. But I don’t.”

Every once in a while there comes a book I don’t want to write about. Not because it wasn’t good (quite the contrary) but because reading it was such a unique and amazing experience that I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone. “One Day in December” definitely falls into this category and I’m having a tough time deciding what to write about it. XD

Maybe it’s best to start with the obvious story line that’s already mentioned in the synopsis. Laurie and Sarah are best friends that share everything with each other. From their flat up to their secrets and lives, they are always together and do everything as a pair. Well, and then that fateful day happens when Laurie falls in love with a stranger who sits at a bus stop and tries to find him for an entire year.

”I’m in hell. I hate myself. I take a couple of steps away from him for my own sanity and grapple with my wretched heart to stop it banging louder than the music.”

Of course Sarah knows everything about him. Or well, as much as Laurie could tell her because it was just a passing moment and other than the fact that he read a book (of course he did) and how he looked, Laurie actually doesn’t have any details about him. How could she? She just saw him through a bus window. So in the end the universe does was it does best and messes things up big time. *lol* (Me a cynic, never! XD)

So through the twisted ways of fate Jack O’Mara (the guy from the bus station) ends up as Sarah’s boyfriend and they are so happy that Laurie would rather die than to mention that he’s HER bus boy! What follows is life with its inevitable ups and downs that keep our three protagonists more than just busy. They live and love, they grief and hope, they move on and return, they give up on themselves and they reinvent themselves once again. Over the course of nine years their story unfolds and just like in normal life the twists and turns keep coming.

”There’s something about living in a different place that allows you to be whoever you want to be.”

What I really loved about this book were the friendships and how everything that happened felt so real. I mean 9 years is a long time and we all know that there can happen so much! Yet, those three people still stayed strong. In one way or another they were always there for each other and helped each other through difficult times. No matter what happened to them and no matter how far they lived from each other, their friendships never faltered. Yes, there were some serious bumps along the road but that’s just the way life is and in the end they always found each other again.

”But I also said that sometimes, rarely, people can come back into your life. And if that happens, you should keep those people close to you for ever.”

I swear there were so many moments my heart broke for those three and sometimes all I wanted to do was to rip the book in two. *lol* I was so emotionally invested in this that it felt like they were my friends and naturally I only wanted them to be happy! XD Sometimes they were and I was glad for those moments, but other times they were so unhappy that I felt myself hurting with them. >_<

”I’d lost sight of who I was, and you made me remember. I don’t think I ever said thank you, so I’m saying it now. Thank you. You tread lightly through life, but you leave deep footprints that are hard for other people to fill.”

”Hey, hey, hey.” I speak as softly as I can. “I know, sweetie, I know.” I wish with all of my heart that I could hold her. “It’s okay, Laurie, it’s all right, sweetheart.” I close my eyes, because her grief is so raw it hurts me to hear it.

Gosh, I really loved this! In fact I loved this book so damn much that I stayed up until midnight just to finish the last 200 pages! And I had to get up at 5:00 a.m again so that says quite a lot about my enjoyment! *lol* Needless to say that I cried at the ending and went to bed as an emotional wreck. XD Still, it was worth every minute and I can’t thank my friends enough for recommending this to me.

”It’s always been like this with us, hasn’t it? “ I don’t have any control over the words spilling from my mouth. “When you look at me, I know that you really see me. I don’t think anyone ever has, Lu. Not the way you do.”

This was legit one of the best romances I ever read and I loved every second of it. Josie Silver managed to capture the currents of life like no other and she did it so masterfully that I’m convinced her characters are actually real people! Laurie James and Jack O’Mara just became one of my favourite couples and I wish them all the best! (Yes, they are real! I’m convinced they are! *lol*) This said: Happy reading! 😉

”Sometimes you just meet the right person at the wrong time,” I say softly.
“Yeah,” he says. “And then you spend every day afterwards wishing that time could be rearranged.”

And because I don’t want to spoil anyone I’ll write some of my other thoughts in here:

 

spoiler

If there was one thing I didn’t like about the book then it was that Laurie and Jack kissed while he was still with Sarah! I mean I can understand why they did it and I know why they kept it from her but it was no surprise that Sarah was angry when she found out. To kiss your best friends boyfriend is just a no-go and I was actually kind of angry with them when they did it.

After that they should have come clean with Sarah and should have told her. Not to mention that I didn’t understand why Laurie didn’t tell her right from the start. I don’t think Sarah would have ripped her head off is she would have told her. I mean she’s her bestie, she would have understood! Who knows maybe Sarah and Jack would have even realized that they are not enough for each other way earlier than they did in the end. Or they would have made the same mistake but at least they would have tried with an honest and clean slate. You never know.

Also I don’t think that Oscar was a good husband. Maybe a good man but definitely no good husband. The mere fact that he took the job in Brussels and didn’t even think about declining and saying “no” was proof of it. I mean he had a wife, they were about to start a family and he simply overrode Laurie’s veto! How egoistic can you be? A marriage is about compromises and finding a way that works for both! It’s no wonder Laurie left him in the end! Which woman in her right mind would have stayed with such an egoistic douche? To move to another country and to start a life over there is a huge step! You can’t just expect that your wife will follow you blindly and will give up her entire life! Especially if she already told you that she doesn’t want to take that step! I mean WTH???!!

And last but not least: The ending killed me!!! I cried so much when I read their conversation on the radio and the twitter hashtags were one of the most relatable things ever. I just loved how everything came together in the end and that their love ended up being public. It’s such a great love story it was bound to come out one day! Also SARAH IS THE FREAKING BEST FRIEND EVER! To buy Laurie a ticket to Jack was one of the most selfless things she could have possibly done and I only love her even more for it!<333

 

Review: Obsidio (Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff)

Rating:

”I AM NOT GOOD.
NOR AM I EVIL.
I AM NO HERO.
NOR AM I VILLAIN.”

I’m starting this review with a quote from AIDAN because it’s awesome and I’m going to miss it like crazy! This last book was pretty amazing, but (and you can already tell by my “but” that it’s not going to be five stars this time around) for me it kind of lacked the shocking moments and cruel plot twists I got used to in the first two books. XD

Don’t get me wrong, there were a lot of loose ends that needed to be tied up and considering the many different storylines and all the different characters Amie and Jay did a more than just thorough job by gathering all those various plot strings into one huge rope. Of course there were a few shockers along the way as well, they weren’t as extreme as in “Illuminae” or “Gemina” though.

I guess after reading “Gemina” I was like: Okay, book 3! What else could go wrong while they try to make their way back into civilisation? And Amie and Jay were more like: Okay, book 3! We need to wrap this up and tie a bow. *lol* So my expectations went in an entirely different direction than what the two authors had planned. I probably should have expected that but I guess I was spoiled from the first two books and just wanted more? XD

This isn’t Amie and Jay’s fault though. What it eventually comes down to is that I might not have been as blown away by “Obsidio” as I was when I read the first two books, considering this was the last book of the series everything came together nicely in the end though. This was still an amazing read and I loved every second of it! =))

If there was one thing I didn’t like, then it was the fact that my buddy deserted me after the first couple of pages and that I was left to rant and curse on my own. *lol* Yeah, I’m talking about you, Babygrey!!! You’re allowed to feel bad now. ;-P

Anyway, let’s move on to my character’s section because boy, do I have to gush about all those lovely characters! XD

Welcome to Kerenza IV! We’re known for being an illegal mining colony so you can expect us to be prone to cheating at cards and to spoil lost and innocent astronauts! We’re nice like that! ;-P

Rhys Lindstrom:

”He has a square jaw. Sharp gray eyes, just a touch too wide. Sandy blond hair, styled into a quiff that, if it doesn’t violate regulations, damn well should. It sure as **** violates the laws of gravity.”

What to say about Rhys? I kinda liked him but I didn’t really connect to him. There were just too many things happening in this book and since it focused on tying up all the loose ends Rhys and Asha didn’t get all too much page time. He seemed to be a nice and decent guy though and truth be told he probably was the only one of the Bei-Tech people who actually seemed to have a conscience. It was easy to see why he felt conflicted and for him it was no choice between the good and the bad people, but rather between following orders or doing what’s right. His struggle was palpable and very believable and because of that he kinda grew on me. =) Plus: You gotta love his crazy hair. Haha!

”You fall in love enough, you’re gonna be nothin’ but scar tissue. She taught me that.”

Asha Grant:

”You didn’t know they were torturing us, is that it? Locking us in cages to keep the rest of us working? Brutalizing us until the thought of ****ing a murderer becomes preferable to one more night of sleeping on an empty stomach?”

Now that’s what I call a fierce and determined heroine! Whilst Rhys seemed to be conflicted throughout the entire book I definitely can’t say the same applied to Asha. She knew there were people and stories behind the Bei-Tech soldier’s faces but she was also aware that they’d kill her without hesitation. I guess her experiences during the occupation made her less naïve than Rhys and since she was a lioness she couldn’t accept Bei-Tech’s plans for the colony. I loved that she tried to protect “the cleverest mouse” and she definitely had her heart in the right place. =) As it seems those Grant women are made of awesomesauce. *lol*

Kady Grant:

”So how about we all put it back in our pants, admit we’re on the same side and start working together instead of acting like a pack of ****ing schoolkids.”

Speaking of which, Kady Grant is still one hell of a woman! 😉 I love that girl so damn much, I can’t even! <333 She’s amazing and I love that she still speaks her mind and doesn’t take any bullshit! The way she put Ben Garver in his place? Respect! Plus I can’t help but adore her for her relationship with AIDAN. She had to deal with a lot of things in Obsidio though and I felt really sorry for everything she had to go through. Still, considering it all it’s even more remarkable that she pulled herself together and managed to go through with it! Kady is a strong character and I could see it on every single page. XD

”We’ve all lost people we loved! All of us! But the ****ing enemy” – Kady Grant points to the bay doors – “is out there. Waiting for us. And if they could see us here tearing at each other’s throats, they’d be ****ing laughing, do you understand that?”

”ByteMe: I’m everything. I’m furious. I’m guilty. I should have seen this coming. I’m hurting. I’m guilty because I’m hurting.
ByteMe: But I’ve made the only choice open to me.”

Ezra Mason:

”Mason, Ezra: u worry too much
Mason, Ezra: you can’t carry this entire ship on your shoulders, Kades.
Grant, Kady: I can with you beside me ❤
Mason, Ezra: <3”

Ezra is still a precious snowflake and I loved how he tried to be there for everyone. He didn’t only manage to keep Kady sane, but he also tried to help Nik! I swear their heart to heart was one of the best moments in the entire book and I loved the way they interacted with each other. XD If I’d have to describe his character with one word I’d choose “glue”, because he kept everyone together and helped them to find their way. XD I guess this only confirms my theory that he’s a big and fluffy snowflake. ;-P

Hanna Donnelly:

”But slowly, painfully, it’s beginning to settle over me like a blanket. This knowledge that never goes away, but beats like a drum in the back of my head all the time.
This is forever.”

Poor Hanna! In “Gemina” she never got a chance to mourn her father and now that she was safe the happenings on Heimdall eventually caught up to her. I felt really sorry for her and I could understand her need to figure things out. Unfortunately their situation didn’t give her a lot of room to sort things out and she had to jump right back into action rather sooner than later. Still, Hanna wouldn’t be Hanna if she wouldn’t be such a tough cookie! I loved how she took command of everything and planned their strategy! If anyone could do it, it was Hanna and she proved that her self-defence lessons and all those mind-games with her father were actually worth it. =)

Nik Malikov:

”I dunno if you can see this, Sparky, but I’m currently swinging a pistol the size of a small anti-aircraft gun. You engage those sprinklers, I’ma shove this up whatever passes for your tailpipe, feel me?”

Never get between Nik and his cigarettes! *lol* Boy, AIDAN playing a trick on him was priceless!! The phrase “cigarettes are going to kill you” got an entirely new meaning after AIDAN’s little joke! Haha! Nik is still one of the best characters in this series and I loved him even more in this book! It made me angry that so many people had prejudices against him but then again Captain Boll’s crew had reservations about every single one of the kids that saved their asses! Seriously, you’d think they’d give them a break and listen to them, but no. Those adults were full of self-righteous s***. *lol* Anyway, let’s get back to dear Mr. Malikov who wore a parachute in space! Yep, he knew exactly what he was doing so you better listen to him the next time when he’s being goofy or quirky. ;-P Nik is my boy and I wish there would have been even more scenes with him! <333

”Yeah, I know,” says Nik Malikov. “I’m ****ing incorrigible.”

Ella Malikova:

”Pachok: o that’s wonderful.
AIDAN: SARCASM?
Pauchok: nah, I’m genuinely overjoyed a mass-murdering artificial intelligence is cracking my secure channels for a midnight chit n chat.”

ELLA ROCKED THAT SHOW!!! This little spider was amazing and even though her health was bugging her big time she didn’t let it get in her way! As it seems my wish was granted because Ella, Kady and AIDAN actually met in “Obsidio” and their conversations made my day! Those three were as much fun as I expected them to be and I was so happy that they finally met. Still, not everything was rainbows and sunshine and poor Ella had a lot to digest while she lay in that hospital bed and tried her best to give our heroes her special brand of online support. 😉 Her talk with Isaac Grant was everything though!!! <333 I loved how Isaac gave all those kids hope and stepped in as their father! He’s such a precious bean and I was so thankful that he saw how brave and amazing this bunch of orphaned kids actually was! I’m convinced Ella is in good hands now and I’m sure Isaac will protect her at all costs! =))

”We know you’re quick, you’re funny, you’re unquestionably smarter than I am. I would never presume to take your father’s place, but I know he loved you, and I’ll do my best to stand in his shoes while we get through this – and longer, if you want. You still have a family, is what I’m saying.”

AIDAN:

”I AM CLARITY.
I AM NECESSITY.
I AM INEVITABILITY.
BUT AM I EVIL?”

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE AND ADORE AIDAN!!! In “Obsidio” it played a bigger role again and I was glad that it got more page time than in “Gemina”. My murderous AI didn’t disappoint me and was as conflicted and confused as it was in the first book. I think it even developed some sort of conscience in the end because it thought a lot about what’s evil and what’s good and to me it was pretty obvious that it bemoaned its role in the happenings. It knew it was the only one who could make that choice, but it also knew that its actions ultimately were a morally reprehensible deed. After finishing the series I really wish I could read Memento but since it’s not available for every reader I’ll just have to accept that I’ll probably never read it. *sighs* =((

”OF ALL THE THINGS I HAVE SEEN
AND THE PLACES I HAVE BEEN,
YOU WERE THE ONE WHO FELT MOST LIKE HOME.”

Kady & AIDAN:

”SHE CRADLES ME TO HER BREAST
AND I CANNOT FEEL THE WARMTH OF HER SKIN.
CANNOT HOLD HER AS SHE HOLDS ME.
AND I CANNOT RECALL EVER FEELING SO ALONE.”

Of course I’m starting with Kady and AIDAN here because how couldn’t I? Their relationship is one of the most intriguing ones I’ve ever read about and in “Obsidio” it was bittersweet. After everything they went through Kady had to kill off AIDAN and it broke my heart to witness their pain. I know AIDAN loved Kady and I’m sure she loved it too. It’s why she was so heartbroken when she had to pull the plug! Plus, she knew that it was sort of doing the right thing. Yes, it killed one thousand people, which is wrong on so many different levels, but it did it in order to save another 1.001 that would have died as well and boy if that wasn’t a difficult choice I don’t know. I understand why Kady was angry at it, why she felt betrayed, but I also understood its POV. In AIDAN’s analytical mind it was either let 2.001 people die or let 1.001 live and it decided for the latter option, because numbers don’t lie. At least in the AI’s opinion they don’t. >_< Still, their last conversation killed me and I was heartbroken with Kady when she shut it down. T_T

”WILL YOU BE HERE? WHEN I WAKE?”
“OF COURSE.”
SHE SMILES, RUNNING GENTLE FINGERS ACROSS THE SCREEN.
AND THOUGH I CANNOT FEEL HER TOUCH,
I AM SURPRISED AT THE COMFORT I FIND IN IT.”

”AIDAN: AND OUTSIDE MY SKIN, AN INFINITY ILLUMINATED BY A BILLION STARS.
AIDAN: THE BEAUTY OF THE UNIVERSE IN THE GRANDEST AND SMALLEST THINGS.
AIDAN: THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO DIE.
Grant, Kady: i don’t
Grant, Kady: how could you force me to be the one to do this?
AIDAN: WHO ELSE COULD IT HAVE BEEN?”

Kady & Ezra:

”GRANT, K: I do, you know.
MASON, E: Do what?
GRANT, K: Shut up.
GRANT, K: Love you, okay?
MASON, E: I know.
MASON, E: I just like to hear you say it.”

I loved their tenderness and their mutual understanding. ❤ Those two didn’t need words to tell each other how they felt and their farewell scene was one of the best I ever read. No words, just actions that spoke more clearly than all the words in the world could have ever done. They are such a sweet couple and I hope after everything that happened they’ll finally find some peace. =) Kady and Ezra forever!! <333

”She lifts one hand to press her palm to his cheek, and he tilts his head into her touch, just a fraction.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.”

Hanna & Nik:

”They’ve each kissed a version of the other – a version that’s now dead, sealed forever in a parallel universe. But these versions? The ones they’ve known for half a year of teasing and sneaky deals and allegedly broken arms and guerrilla warfare fights for their lives? These versions never have. The moment that sealed them together was with other versions of themselves. These two have never made that silent promise.”

Now those two killed me at the beginning of the book! Or rather Hanna killed me when she rejected Nik! I was like OMG!!! NOOOOOO!!! I understood why she needed some time for herself but poor Nik suffered like a dog. =((( They both are very different characters and while Hanna is more of the silent, introverted kind of type, Nik is the extrovert who speaks his mind without a second thought. So it was no surprise that they had some initial starting difficulties and I’m glad they managed to overcome them in the end. I mean they love each other deeply and when all hell breaks loose, that’s what counts! 😉 And boy, am I glad that Nik wore his parachute when their jet crashed! *lol* I really would have cried an ocean of my two fave couples would have had no happy ending!!!

”Well, there’s handfuls and then there’s handfuls. And then there’s Hanna.” He watches broken trails of smoke drift in the air. Sighs. “I dunno what we are. Or where.”

”She eases up to kiss him once more, slow and gentle, reluctant to break the moment. It’s a kiss for everything their words can’t convey, for the history behind them and the story ahead – a story that might be only a few words long or might only be beginning.”

Asha & Rhys:

”I’ve watched this on slo-mo a dozen times, and I swear you can count twenty-seven different expressions on Lindstrom’s face in a three-second period as he sees this girl. He actually does a double take. Jaw dropping like a bag of bricks. Thing is, as the girl catches sight of him, she’s on the same gobsmacked page.”

What to say about those two? I didn’t get all too warm with their relationship but I think that was mostly due to their circumstances and the lack of some romantic time. XD I got really curious about their relationship before Kerenza IV but unfortunately there wasn’t mentioned a lot which made it kind of hard to relate to them. What it eventually comes down to, is that their relationship wasn’t very tangible for me and therefore sort of took a back seat. I mean, I get that they cared about each other, that there were still feelings on both sides but I never truly got to know why. *lol* Mhmm, I think they probably should have gotten their own book. 😉

Lindstrom tears his helmet off, kneels beside her and carefully cracks the bolts on her cuffs. Tears well in her lashes and she throws her arms around his neck, hair tumbling over her eyes as she presses her forehead to his.
“God, they hurt you,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry, Ash …”

Ella & Nik:

”NikM: having seen an alternate reality version of you literally die in my arms about 38 hours ago, you think i’d be kinder disposed to you rite now
NikM: but god i hate u
Pauchok: filthy lies, u luv me like cigarettes”

Haha! They continued to have one of the best brother/sister relationships ever and I loved their easy banter. Despite their situation they always managed to find some humour in their predicament and even though there was a lot to laugh about their serious moments never ceased to wreck my soft heart! I’m so glad they both got out of this alive and I’m even gladder about the fact that Isaac Grant took them both under his wings! The Illuminae crew is their new family now and they really could have found no better family than that! =))

”NikM: ELLA WHAT DO YOU NEED
Pauchok: …
Pachok: jesus
NikM: um i don’t think I hve his email addy?”

”And don’t worry, Nik. You said it already. You said it every day, with everything you did for me. You said it every time you didn’t just act like coming to spend time with me was the most fun you could have, you actually thought it. You’ve done everything I could ever have wanted you to do, Nik, and you’re still doing it.”

“Obsidio” might have not been as stunning or shocking as it predecessors, but it was a fun ride nevertheless! Amie and Jay succeeded in tying up all the loose ends and created a finale that packed quite a punch. Well, for Bei-Tech and Leanne Frobisher it certainly did. ;-P This series was thoroughly entertaining and I can recommend it to everyone! Pick up “Illuminae” and take it from there, you won’t be disappointed! =)