Review: Mexican Gothic (Silvia Moreno-Garcia)

Rating:

”I am Catalina Taboada. CATALINA. Cata, Cata come out to play. I miss Noemi. I pray I’ll see you again. You must come for me, Noemi. You have to save me. I cannot save myself as much as I wish to, I am bound, threads like iron through my mind and my skin and it’s there.”

If I’d have to describe “Mexican Gothic” with just one sentence I’d say: “It was fun.” Fortunately or unfortunately (it always depends on whether you like my reviews or not) we all know that I’m incapable of keeping my reviews short and simple so as always you’ll get a lot more from me than just one sentence. ;-P This said: What is the book about? Well, if you break it down to the basics “Mexican Gothic” is about Noemí Taboada who is sent to her cousins’ house in order to find out what is wrong with her. After marrying an English man and moving into his house named High Place, Catalina wrote a very disturbing letter and her father entrusts Noemi with taking care of the matter. Or in short he wants her to find out if Catalina needs the care of a psychologist or not.

”She thought that men such as her father could be stern and men could be cold like Virgil, but women needed to be liked or they’d be in trouble. A woman who is not liked is a bitch, and a bitch can hardly do anything: all avenues are closed to her.”

Once Noemi arrives at High Place it seems like her cousin is getting over a heavy illness and that everything is going to be okay, well at least at the beginning. The longer she stays the more crazy things happen. Haunted by reoccurring nightmares Noemi soon realizes that her cousin’s letter might not have been written while she experienced a psychotic episode but actually might turn out to be the truth. Confined to the dark halls of High Place she sees the well maintained facade of the Doyle family crumble and the secrets she discovers behind the walls are enough to unnerve even the bravest socialite.

”A woman’s function is to preserve the family line. The children, well, Virgil is the only one left, but she did her duty and she did it well.”

I can’t even tell you how much I hated Howard Doyle, the patriarch of the family. He was such a horrible and vile man and all his talk about Eugenics, superior races and the roles of women made me sick to my stomach. Not that his son Virgil was any better. The more I saw of his true nature, the more I detested him. Florence, the only female Doyle member, was horrible as well and I loathed her so much for bending to Howard’s and Virgil’s will. This woman was mean and cruel and had no backbone to speak of. And Catalina? Well, her poor cousin barely seems to be able to get out of bed so Noemi is on her own and has to fight for both of them.

She thought Howard looked like an insect and Florence was an insectivorous plant. But Virgil Doyle, he was a carnivore, high up the food chain.
“Florence is right. You deserve to be slapped and taught a few lessons,” he muttered.
“If anyone is slapped in this room, I assure you, it won’t be me.”

The only family member I really liked was precious and frail Francis Doyle. Florence’s son and the only person that truly seemed to care about Noemi’s well-being. I couldn’t help but like Francis but I also felt kind of guilty for trusting him? *lol* I mean at a place where nothing is as it seems and where you find enemies at every corner, would you trust a nice and gentle soul? I for my part had a really strong trust problem when it came to Francis but at the same time, just like Noemi, I wanted to be able to rely on at least one person in this creepy house. XD

”You are right to think that I was grown like an orchid. Carefully manufactured, carefully reared. I am, yes, like an orchid. Accustomed to a certain climate, a certain amount of light and heat. I’ve been fashioned for a single end. A fish can’t breathe out of water. I belong with the family.”

As for our MC Noemi Taboada: I absolutely loved and adored her! This woman is fierce and she never backed down! I really enjoyed to follow her journey and to discover the secrets of the old house alongside her. This woman has guts and I was very glad she gave the Doyle family a run for their money and didn’t allow them to intimidate her. The Doyle’s, especially the male family members, definitely needed someone to reprimand them so I was happy about every word that Noemi uttered with her sharp tongue. *lol*

”This time his gaze lingered on her for one long minute before, skittish, he stepped back and rounded the table again, returning to his original position. A bundle of nerves is what he was. A heart, raw and bleeding, she thought, and the image lingered in her mind.”

All told “Mexican Gothic” was a really interesting horror book and I enjoyed it even though I’m a scaredy fox and usually don’t read in the genre of horror. At least not all too often. 😉 Still, I loved the atmosphere of High Place, the cemetery next to it, the impenetrable fog surrounding the old house, it’s cold and cruel residents and its desolate walls harbouring dark secrets. If you like books that are mysterious and not all too creepy, books that give you a slightly gross vibe. Well, then I’m sure you’ll enjoy this one too.

Review: My Dark Vanessa (Kate Elizabeth Russell)

Rating:

Book 34 on My Book List 2021

”I loved the math of it, three times my age, how easy it was to imagine three of me fitting inside him one of me curled around his brain, another around his heart, the third turned to liquid and sliding through his veins.”

trigger warnings: pedophilia, grooming, sexual assault, rape, manipulation, gaslighting, victim shaming, abusive relationship
Fair warning: Might contain slight spoilers.

I’ve been sitting here for half an hour, staring at my screen and I still don’t know how to begin this review. “My Dark Vanessa” is certainly a controversial book and I suppose it just comes with the nature of the story and the topic that is addressed. A fifteen year old girl having an affair with her teacher is not something that’s easy to digest, especially if that mentioned teacher is three times her age as well. So what did I think about this book? Well, I’m not gonna lie, I don’t even know how I feel about “My Dark Vanessa”. Conflicted? Appalled ? Disgusted? Nauseated? Sympathetic? All of those words and so many more. I’ve an entire bandwidth of emotions when I dwell on Vanessa’s story.

”I think we’re very similar, Nessa,” he whispers. “I can tell from the way you write that you’re a dark romantic like me. You like dark things.”

What I can tell you for sure is that I hated Strane – Vanessa’s teacher and affair – with a fierce passion because he’s not only a manipulative ass, but mostly because he knew exactly what he was doing and yet he still did it. He made me so angry and I just couldn’t with him. Whenever he spoke with Vanessa, whenever they hooked up I just wanted to slap him and drag Vanessa away. And we all know that I’m a pacifist but damn the mere idea of a kid ending up in the manipulative fangs of such a vile creature like Strane – it makes me see red! >_< Every action, every single one of his words was calculated and at times I really wished I could have jumped into the book and saved Vanessa from him. I think the worst thing was that Vanessa suffered so much from the things he did to her but that she didn’t even realize it.

”Ah, working girl,” he says. “Still at that hotel, I take it.”
“I could call in.”
“No, don’t do that.” He sits back in his chair, his mood instantly darkened. I know what’s wrong; I should have jumped at his offer , said yes right away. Hesitating was a mistake, and with him, one mistake is enough to ruin the whole thing.

Even years after the happenings at Vanessa’s former school she’s still in contact with him and tries to please him and I … I just have no words for how f*cked up that is. I was horrible to see the effect all this had on Vanessa and how brainwashed she was until the very end. Strane always paints himself as the victim of their story but in fact he’s the villain and it made me feel so angry and helpless that Vanessa couldn’t see it and even felt sympathy for him.

”Listening to him, I want to cry. I see him so clearly now, understand how lonely it must be for him, wanting the wrong thing, the bad thing, while living in a world that would surely villainize him if it knew.”

What really got me was that some part of Vanessa KNEW that this was all wrong. It shows in the way how repulsed she feels by his appearance, how she is ashamed of having an affair with him, this old man that is such a constant of her life. No matter what she does, she can’t really escape him and this was at least as tragic as it was horrifying. Vanessa IS a victim even if she doesn’t see herself as one because what Strane did to her was wrong and scarred her for life. And at times she’s aware of it, she acknowledges the wrongness of it all in her private thoughts, but it’s not enough to truly drive her away from him.

”Good. That’s good.” He reaches for my hands. “You’re in charge here, Vanessa. You decide what we do.”
I wonder if he really believes that. He touched me first, said he wanted to kiss me, told me he loved me. Every first step was taken by him. I don’t feel forced, and I know I have the power to say no, but that isn’t the same as being in charge. But maybe he has to believe that. Maybe there’s a whole list of things he has to believe.”

Not even when he actually rapes her. And it was rape, everyone who thinks this book is putting a gloss on a wrong relationship like that didn’t read between the lines because for me it was plain as day that she didn’t do this willingly. Vanessa hurt and didn’t want to have sex with him, yet he still forced her to and didn’t even stop when she started to cry. That is called rape! Period. And we can tell by Vanessa’s feelings in that scene that she isn’t okay with it. That she doesn’t want it, that she wanted him to stop but just didn’t dare to do anything because she thought she owed him to have sex with her. Which is just another testimonial for how disgusting and manipulative Strane is. He doesn’t even notice she’s crying, he just goes on and ignores her reaction, he forces himself on her and is only focused on his own pleasure. I WAS SO DISGUSTED BY THIS SCENE…. I can’t even tell you how much. >_<

”I want to tell him I’m tired, to roll over and never look at the thing ever again, but that would be selfish. He said me naked is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. It would be cruel for me to counter that with disgust. It doesn’t matter that my skin crawls from touching him. It doesn’t matter. It’s fine. He did that to you, now you do this to him. You can handle a few minutes of this.”

Strane is a horrible, horrible person and he would have deserved to go to jail for this – or if you ask me – to end up in the fiery pits of hell. To take advantage of a 15 year old girl that has no idea what she’s getting herself into is wrong and the fact he painted himself as the victim of Vanessa’s charms just made me want to vomit. Worst thing, Vanessa believes him. For years and always suppresses the little voice in the back of her mind because she knows it was wrong but she just can’t bring herself to acknowledge the truth because then it would be real. To ignore all the others that came after her was easier than to face the bitter truth.

”I just really need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that.”
“I know,” she says.
“Because if it isn’t a love story, then what is it?”
I look to her glassy eyes, her face of wide-open empathy.
“It’s my life,” I say. “This has been my whole life.”

All told I still don’t know how I feel about “My Dark Vanessa”! For me it was a very dark, disturbing, revolting and thought-provoking book. The fact that we get to see Vanessa’s side, the side of a victim, only made me feel even more conflicted about it all. The ending… well the ending is not what I expected it to be. It’s neither a redemptive ending nor a fair one and it actually left me feeling very indignant about it. So yeah, there’s that. I guess “My Dark Vanessa” will be on my mind for quite a while…

”The excuses we make for them are outrageous, but they’re nothing compared with the ones we make for ourselves.”

Review: Muse of Nightmares (Laini Taylor)

Rating:

Book 6 on My Book List 2019

”Many a choice is made this way: by pretending it makes itself. And many a fate is decided by those who cannot decide.”

If I’d have to describe “Muse of Nightmares” with just one word, it either would be “stressful” or “gruelling”. *lol* Because quite honestly from the moment I opened this book and started to read it, it gave me nothing but anxiety. >_< The super tense situation between Lazlo, Sarai and Minya at the beginning of the book already had me gnawing at my nails and with every sentence I read it only seemed to get even worse.

And if that plot line wouldn’t have killed me already there needed to come another story line into play. It was an interesting one, I can admit as much, but boy it certainly wasn’t any less stressful than the main storyline with our blue children. *lol* So yes, throughout this entire book I was a bundle of nerves and even after finishing it I’m still kind of well… nervous?! This definitely should have come with a stress warning or something. XD

Anyway! I guess it’s safe to say that “Muse of Nightmares” threw me for a loop and even though it wasn’t what I expected it was still damn good! Laini Taylor created such a vivid world with plenty of wonderful characters and I just love them all! From Lazlo to Sarai, from Feral to Ruby, to Sparrow, Eril-Fane and Azareen, right to Calixte, Tzara, Ruza and Thyon. Gosh, they are all my children and everything I want is just one more book in which I can follow them on their journey! <333 (Any chance there’s going to be a third book, Laini?! ;-P)

This said let’s head to the part of my reviews I always love the most! My characters section! 😉

Welcome to Weep! The city whose true name changed when the gods and their wrath came down on it! Be careful when you enter the streets, there will be lots of spoilers and gods that might catch you unawares. ;-P Don’t go in there if you haven’t read the book already!

Sarai:

”She wanted to move, delirious, forgetting what was real and what was looming, and find some way to hook herself to this world, this moment, and never leave. She wanted to taste and feel and ache, and she wanted to weep, too, for all she’d lost and would yet lose.”

I was so heartbroken by the ending of the first book and I think I still am. I mean even though Sarai is a ghost now and Minya is tethering her to earth she’s still not truly alive. What was done to her in this book was so cruel and her despair and fear was so tangible it gave me anxiety. This poor girl that only wanted peace, tormented by a person that raised her and should have loved and cared for her. It was just too much! So much misery and hate. It really killed me to see Sarai struggle like that and I just wanted to help her somehow. I’m kind of glad things changed so drastically towards the ending because urgh… I couldn’t have taken to see Sarai hurt even more. >_<

Lazlo:

”He had, in his hearts, declared war on the dark child, but Lazlo was no warrior, and his hearts had no talent for hate.”

My poor and brave boy got a brief taste of hatred and it almost destroyed him. T_T Lazlo is too innocent and pure to hold on to an emotion like that and it became more than just apparent when he had to face Minya. I swear, to live with Lazlo and Sarai, to see their love and to be unable to help them was pure torture! And through it all he still held on to his beliefs. He didn’t give up and he didn’t give into Minya’s demands even though it almost killed him to do so. Gosh, I love Lazlo so much! <333 He’s still the purest soul I ever read about and I just wanted him to be happy, but nope after Minya’s torture the goddess Nova had to enter the scene and I think I died about a thousand deaths with Lazlo when she forcefully took him away from Sarai. T_T Seriously, my stress level was so high when I read this book. No kidding. XD I’m just glad Lazlo somehow managed to get through it all and that he was able to keep his innocent flame alive. <33 The world really needs more Lazlo Strange’s!

”I belong here,” he said, feeling the truth of it all through him. With Sarai, whom he loved, and with others like himself, and with the metal, too. It had awakened a dimension of him that he had never known existed, a whole new sense, as real as sight or touch. It was part of him now. He was part of this. To leave would mean losing not only Sarai but a piece of himself as well.”

”Listen to me,” he said, savage. He wouldn’t have known his own voice. “There’s something you’ve failed to consider. Sarai is the only thing keeping you safe. Gods help you, if you let her soul go. There will be nothing to stop me from ending you.”

”Impossible?” Lazlo gave a soft laugh and shake of his head. “There must be things that are impossible. But I don’t believe we’ve gotten there yet. Look at us. We’ve barely begun. Sarai, we’re magic.”

„Just because the power is mine, it doesn’t follow that al the choices are.”

Minya:

”This was what Minya knew: Have an enemy, be an enemy. Hate those who hate you. Hate them better. Hate them worse. Be the monster they fear the most. And whenever you can, and however you can, make them suffer.”

I still hate Minya and at the beginning of the book I wanted to strangle her!! The things she did, how she hurt Sarai and Lazlo! It wasn’t right and she should have been stopped! It was so frustrating to see her hatred and to watch how she made Lazlo and Sarai suffer! The worst thing was not to be able to do anything against it! It made me feel really helpless and I started to loathe her even more than I already did. I understand why Minya is the way she is, but even a saint would have been tempted to kill her if given the chance. This girl only knew wrath and she didn’t even listen to the voices of reason. She just blocked them out and ignored everyone who had a different opinion. I really thought she’d never change her mind and if Nova wouldn’t have shown up she probably would have continued on her dark path. I guess Nova’s presence finally put things into perspective and this only just because she was even worse. >_< Urgh! Let’s hope Minya continues on the right path and that getting rid of all those negative emotions that came along with the souls she trapped will make her a better person in the long run. Optimism! See, I’ve taken a page out of Lazlo’s book. *lol*

”She believed it was rage, only and always rage, but that was the costume it wore, because fear was weakness, and she had vowed to never again be weak.”

”This was different. Sarai and Lazlo were pieces on the game board, and there was everything at stake. If they wanted their pleasure, their honey heat and little sounds, they could earn it with obedience.”

”The mind is good at hiding things, but there’s something it cannot do: It can’t erase. It can only conceal, and concealed things are not gone. They rot. They fester, they leak poisons. They ache and stink. They hiss like serpents in tall grass.”

Thyon:

”Thyon knew this smell. For all that he was a duke’s son, born in a castle, with a palace of his own gifted him by the queen, he was a scholar, too and he lived this smell. It was unmistakable. Universal. It was books.”

Now that’s how you write a believable redemption arc!!! Of course Thyon didn’t become a better person overnight but by making new friends and finally opening up to them he started to show his true colours. I wouldn’t say the person beneath all that cold exterior was a completely different person but there were good parts of Thyon he never dared to show and in “Muse of Nightmares” they eventually got a chance to shine. =) There’s some soft part of him that only wanted to be loved and to be a part of things and his friendship with Calixte, Tzara and Ruza kind of helped him to understand himself better. Sometimes it needs the reflection of others to see who you truly are. 😉 So I definitely liked this Thyon better than the one in the first book and I’d have loved to see even more of him. (Hence my wish for a third book. *lol*)

”Thyon gritted his teeth, knowing exactly who and still telling himself that wasn’t why he’d put it aside. What did he care what the dreamer would love, or who got to give it to him?”

”If the kingdom of knowledge was a city, then a swath of Thyon’s had been shaken to the ground, and he was standing knee-deep in rubble both in his thoughts and in reality.”

“Thyon, earthbound, felt every choice he’d made, every action he’d taken, as a weight he carried with him. He wondered: Was it weight he could shed or throw off, or was it forever a part of him, as much as his bones and his hearts?”

”Will this help?” he asked, breathless. “Is it… is it enough?”

Sarai & Lazlo:

”He reached for her, and she gave up all resistance.
The others watched, transfixed, as she melted against him, sweetly heavy and his to hold. Their eyes closed, and they rested their foreheads together as they breathed soft words from each other’s lips.”

First of all: Minya interrupting their kiss in the way she did was unforgivable! Like seriously!! Who does things like that? URGH! I suffered so, so, so, so much with Sarai and Lazlo it’s not even normal anymore! I just wanted those lovebirds to be together but first Minya had to get between them and then Nova had to jump right into the fun too! ARGH! I swear this book killed me and gave me an entirely new level of stress I didn’t even know a book was capable of giving. *lol* Despite it all they still found ways to be together and to spend a few sweet and very precious moments in each other’s company. I loved them so much and how I raged against Nova with Lazlo when she took him away from Sarai. Poor Lazlo! The amount of despair I went through while I followed this pair through this book is tremendous. *lol* I’m all anxiety and bitten nails. *takes a deep breath* I’m so glad things worked out in the end and that Lazlo and Sarai could be together but I’m still kind of bummed by the fact that Sarai is still a ghost who’s bound to Minya. I just hope that they found a world in which they could give her soul a real body gain. Lazlo and her would deserve it! <333

”They could be wrenched apart by Minya, though, at literally any moment, and their hearts felt ragged, frayed by desperation and the thoughtless drub of time.”

”He was careful with her. This wasn’t a time for wildfires. She wanted his dreams and he wanted to draw her into such safety and splendor as only he could make for her, not in the world, but out of it, in their world.”

”She gave words back to him, murmuring, and kept them, too. You could do that: Give them back and keep them. ‘I love you’ is generous that way.”

”Her mind, he meant, knowing in a way that few people do that a mind is a place – a landscape, a wilderness, a city, a world.”

Sarai & Minya & Lazlo:

Sarai shook her head. “I’m not defending him. This isn’t about him. It’s about us, and who we chose to be.”
“You don’t get to choose,” snapped Minya. “You’re dead. And I choose monster!”

To say the relationship between those three was complicated would be an understatement. Sarai still appealed to the good in Minya because she knew it was there buried deep, Lazlo tried to persuade Minya to do the right thing because he was too pure to comprehend such cruelty and Minya. Well, she loved Sarai but she wanted to get her revenge so badly that she would have sacrificed her in a heartbeat. >_< And after all Minya put them through, after all the cruelty and pain this precious snowflake of a boy still shielded her with his own body when they were attacked by Nova. I can’t! I just can’t! Lazlo is an angel, a saint, a unicorn! I think Minya only realized how much Sarai meant to her when she almost died because of Nova. Up to that point it was some sort of game for her, because she was always in control of it, but once she lost that control she finally realized she’d lose Sarai too. They all broke my heart. T_T

”Lazlo didn’t think. He just moved. He grabbed her from behind and turned away, holding her like a doll against him. His linen shirt stretched taut across his shoulders as he curled over her to shield her with his body. To shield her with his own body.”

”We have to get to the citadel!” she insisted. “I just have to touch it. We just have to get alongside it and touch it.”
Sarai knelt in front of her. “It means so much that you still want to save me,” she said, her eyes filling up with tears. Minya’s eyes filled, too.

Ruza & Thyon:

”He looks like somebody made him, and delivered him in a velvet-lined box. He probably plucks his eyebrows. I don’t know how you could possibly find that attractive.”

AWWWWWW!!! Those two! I never saw this ship coming but I’m so on board with it! <333 I mean Ruza literally compared Thyon to “a new linen napkin that you’re afraid to wipe your mouth on”. *LOL* Like seriously!!! It’s so obvious! And Thyon saying he should keep his mouth away from him. Ahhhh!!! Also let’s not forget that Ruza bandaged his hands! So sweet! I never thought I’d ship Thyon with anyone, but Ruza and he were just too cute! ❤ There were so many little moments between them and the fact they always blushed was just adorable. I think I need a third “Strange the Dreamer” book just to see where this might go! XD I’d be totally down for a book about their relationship and I really hope Laini is thinking about it right now. *lol*

”He did one more thing before heading on to the stable. He hit up the first aid boy for a packet of bandages. He hadn’t known a grown man could have hands soft enough to blister and rip after a few hours hauling rope. The alchemist hadn’t complained, though, and he hadn’t quit. That was something, anyway. No reason he should keep getting blood all over the rope.”

”It’s your holy book,” he’d pointed out. “Do you want to get greasy fingerprints all over it?”
“I’ll get greasy fingerprints all over you,” the warrior had muttered, going to do as he was told. Thyon flushing, had pretended not to hear.

”The more fool him, to think he was part of this group. He pushed back from the table to stand, but before he could, Ruza’s hand closed on his. He still wasn’t looking at him, but he had caught his hand so he couldn’t walk away. Thyon stared at his fingers enclosed in Ruza’s as though they belonged to some stranger. He hardly even registered the feeling. It was too alien. No one had ever held his hand.”

”He looked at him and saw the child he’d been, and he saw the man he was – warrior, prankster, friend – and he felt a warmth that he had never felt before for any other person. It was affection, and something that frightened him, too, that he could feel in his knees and fingertips and face.

He said, “I’m sure there are real dragons out there somewhere. You can hatch one from an egg and raise it to be your loyal steed.”
Ruza’s whole face lit up. “Do you really think so?”
“Out of hundreds of worlds?” said Thyon. “It would be stranger if there weren’t dragons.”

Azareen & Eril-Fane:

”After that her days were a fog, and real life was lived at night in a secret cavern with a sword in her hand, blade dancing with a boy who burned with beautiful fire.”

It was really nice to find out about how Azareen and Eril-Fane fell in love, but it was also painful to get a closer look at how the gods destroyed them. They were good and decent people and then Isagol and Skathis came for them and changed the course of their lives forever. Poor Eril-Fane and poor Azareen. They both would have deserved a happy life together but the gods had come to torture them and there was nothing they could have done. It’s no wonder Eril-Fane killed them all. He just didn’t see any other way and only realized what he had done when it was already too late. They made him a monster and he could never escape his past. I grieved so much with them and I’m so glad that they found to each other in the end. ❤ They deserve a bright future and after all their suffering they finally got a chance at happiness.

”Every time he looked at Azareen, he had to face the knowledge that his inability to… get over… what had been done to him – and what he had done – had robbed her of the life she deserved. To hear the word sorry from her lips… it made him want to die.”

”It didn’t matter if the feelings were his, or if she put them in him. Either way, they were real, and they would rule over him for the next three years, and all the years that came after.”

“Muse of Nightmares” went in an entirely different direction than I anticipated and I never saw any of those events coming. I certainly didn’t expect this book to be so dark and to fill me with so much despair but that’s exactly what happened. I was a nervous wreck throughout the entire story and to read this was really stressful. Still, it might have been different than the first book but Laini Taylor’s writing style is impeccable and I just love this world and its characters! ❤

Review: Morning Star (Pierce Brown)

Rating:

”Never mind the darkness you spread, never mind the night you summon, we will rage against it.”

In my “Golden Son” review I remarked that reading the second book of this amazing trilogy was like playing chess without any rules. Well, guess what?!
Yes, you already figured it out!
To read “Morning Star” was even worse! *lol*

Forget renegade chess figures that give you the finger!
This time around it’s the storyline, nature, two fleets, gravity AND the countless chess figures that all riot like there would be no tomorrow. XD In short the entire book is one big middle finger and its only reason to exist is to rip out your heart, to crush it and to feast on it while you desperately try to save your precious soul!
Yep, that’s how reading this book felt for me. >_<

But don’t let me keep you from reading “Morning Star” because there are numerous gorydamn good reasons why it is worth it. For instance Pierce Brown isn’t just a good looking piece of cake (if you don’t believe me look him up ;-P *lol*), but also a skilled storyteller and an incredible genius! You just gotta respect the hell out of the mind of that brilliant human being. XD

Still, WHY PIERCE?
HOW COULD YOU??!!
WHYYYYYYYYYY?

HOW.
COULD.
YOU???

Oh, did I forget to mention that he’s a cruel, cunning and deceitful creature too? XD
No? Well, I guess now you know. Sorry Pierce!
Anyway, now that this is settled it seems like we can finally head to the plot! 😉

”The greatest weapon a rebellion has is its spiritus. The spirit of change. That little seed that finds a hope in the mind and flourishes and spreads. But the ability to plant that idea, and even the idea itself has been taken from us. The message stolen. We are voiceless.”

I think this is the beginning of the book in a nutshell and if I’m entirely honest I don’t want to reveal all too much. Since the second book ended on a horrible and devastating cliff-hanger there is nothing I could write in here which wouldn’t give away the plot of the last book. So yeah, bear with me? *lol* All I can say is that there were so many twists and turns that my head and heart suffered from a serious whiplash and probably won’t recover all too soon. To those of you who have the gift of premonition or foreboding: Don’t even try it. *shakes head* You’ll never be able to see through all those many layers and plot twists. Believe me, I’ve tried! ;-P

”You and I keep looking for light in the darkness, expecting it to appear. But it already has.” I touch his shoulder. “We’re it, boyo. Broken and cracked and stupid as we are, we’re the light, and we’re spreading.”

And this is where the fun begins! Welcome to my spoilery spoiler section! If you don’t want to be spoiled return back to the start and never look back. If you want to be spoiled: Leave your hats and good conscience at the door and follow me into the depths of my realm! ;-P Don’t worry, we have cookies! XD

Darrow – The Reaper:

”Man is no island. We need those who love us. We need those who hate us. We need others to tether us to life, to give us a reason to live, to feel. All I have is the darkness.”

My broken and poor boy! Oh gosh, how much I suffered with him when he was in captivity of the Jackal. To read the beginning of the book was so painful and sad and I couldn’t believe that no one of those stupid “noble” Golds did anything against it!!! How could they let this happen to him?! It was just inhuman and brutal and oh hell, my poor Darrow. My fallen little star!! T_T Thank the gods for Darrow’s awesome family and skilled carvers like Mickey. *lol* I loved that he found strength in them and that he finally became the man he needed to be. Not the man he wanted to be, mind you! But in order to overthrow an established system there was no other choice than to become the voice of the rebellion he started. Still, after everything he’s been through Darrow still had his principles and was driven by his convictions. I think in many ways this made him the most honourable person in the entire series and it actually caused me to root for him until the very end! XD He’s such an awesome protagonist and his fear to fail the people he loved was more than just relatable! =)

”I am just a boy, and I shiver and cower and hide from my enemy because I know the price of failure, and I am so very afraid.”

”I sob uncontrollably, sharing all the pain my solitude forced me to hoard. The tears a deeper language than my tongue can afford.”

”Tomorrow the war can have me again. But tonight I belong to my family.”

Mustang:

“You’re not invincible.“ She touches the armor of my chest. “Some of us might want you around after all of this. After all, what’s the point of all this if you go and die on me? You hear?”

I loved her so much in the first book but after reading “Golden Son” my opinion about her changed. I’m sorry to say it but I still don’t like her. I understood her better, but I can’t say that I dig a relationship between her and Darrow. Yes, they love each other and yes they have a son now (PAX what a revelation!!! What and epilogue!!! OMG!! I’m still not over it!) but I think it needs more than that to make their relationship work. They both made mistakes, I know that, but I still think her reaction to Darrow being a Red was really, really wrong! I’m aware that might be an unpopular opinion but it is the way I feel! Fight me! *lol*

Cassius au Bellona:

When I meet his eyes, I do all I can to not fall into sobs. The way he looks at me is sad, nearly tender. What a shadow of myself I must be to earn pity from a man I’ve hurt so deeply.

Well if that isn’t a perfect case of redemption! XD I knew there was still something good in Cassius! I just knew it!!! BUT BOY!!! DID I HATE HIM IN THE MOMENT HE BETRAYED THE OTHERS!!! *lol* Jeez!!! I was so shook I couldn’t even breathe!!! Damn Pierce, you gave me a bloody heart attack!!! I’m too young to have one of those! Hell, come to think of it I’m pretty certain we’re actually even the same age. XD Either way you shouldn’t mess with my feelings like that… Where was I again? Yes, Cassius, right! I’m so glad he and Darrow sorted out their problems and I really hope they’ll continue to be close friends. I loved their relationship in the first book and I was so heartbroken when it ended the way it did. Their close bond was so nice back then and I really hated to see it break. Let’s hope Cassius takes good care of Lysander and gives him a better ethical education than his grandmother bestowed upon him.

”I’m tired of this war, Darrow.”

Sevro au Barca:

”Do you want the eyes back?” Sevro asks, suddenly worried. “I can give them back.”
“No!” I say. “It’s just I forgot how crazy you are.”

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE SEVRO??!!! It’s impossible!!! That boy is so awesome he should have had his own freaking book!!! *lol* I just love his weirdness and the fact that he actually took Darrow’s eyes! Boy, he’s such an adorable freak it’s not even normal! Haha! It was amazing to see his character development throughout the books and even though his burden seemed to be too heavy in “Morning Star” I still thought that given the circumstances he was actually doing a great job! He held the rebellion together while Darrow was gone and this alone is a more than considerable achievement! I still love his humour and his tender heart and even after three books I still feel like I want more!!! Admittedly not everything he did was amazing and there were times I wanted to knock some sense into him, in general I could understand and follow most of his actions though. Of all the many characters in the books Sevro is definitely my favourite and I don’t think this will ever change! 😉

His wrinkled little face hardens as he watches his Howlers run to do my bidding. “You get them killed, I’ll never forgive you.”
“Makes two of us. Now go.”

”His wife,” he says more deeply. “And my father never met. But they shared a dream. One of a free world. Not built on corpses, but on hope. On the love that binds us, not the hate that divides. We have lost many. But we are not broken. We are not defeated. We fight on. But we do not fight for revenge for those who have died. We fight for each other. We fight for those who live. We fight for those who don’t yet live.”

Roque au Fabii:

Framed by fire, he cycles through images, issuing commands like a great conductor summoning the passion of an orchestra. His mind a beautiful, terrible weapon.”

Oh, Roque. My poet! My gentle soul! Why did he have to go that way? I can’t hate him for the things he did because deep down within him, he was convinced that he was doing the right thing. After the loss of Quinn he was a pliable lost soul that got saved by the wrong people and I JUST CAN’T HATE HIM FOR IT!!! He did what he thought was necessary, he believed in their system, he followed his supervisors, he paid with his life. T_T I think his shout into the wind was a Greek tragedy and I’ll never get over his loss. *sighs deeply*

”If you care so much for life, tell yours to stop firing,” Roque replies. “Tell them to fall in line and understand that life isn’t free. It isn’t without sacrifice. If all take what they want, how long will it be till there’s nothing left?”

”I am the star in the night sky. I am the blade in the twilight. I am the god, the glory.” His breath shudders out. He is afraid. “I am the Gold.”

Victra:

”His heart’s a black little thing. But it can break. I’m here to make sure it doesn’t by keeping you nice and cozy. Oh, and I want to say hello to Roque.”

I absolutely loved and adored Victra!!! She’s so savage and honest! It was really refreshing to read! I actually liked her more than I liked Mustang and this says quite a lot!! That girl is just amazing and to be able to keep up with Sevro she really had to be a special brand! Haha! They definitely make an awesome couple and I can’t wait to read more about them. (Maybe even in Iron Gold?!) I admired that she also showed her weaknesses in front of others and instead of being afraid of their reaction; she used them as a weapon. Only very skilled people can pull that off and Victra certainly is one of them. 😉 She’s basically what I expected Mustang to be, so it’s really no wonder I ended up liking her even more! XD

”He was incorrigible the whole journey out here. Laughing, pulling pranks, and slipping off to Victra’s room whenever he thought no one was looking. Ugly little man’s in love. And for what it’s worth, it seems to go both ways.”

The Jackal:

”All my life I’ve been given lions. Nothing of my own. What does it say about me that my greatest enemy knows me better than any friend?”

I AM SO GLAD HE IS FINALLY DEAD!!! XD And yes, I mean it!!! *lol* Gosh that boy gave me the creeps and I was constantly disgusted by his actions and personality! Nero really raised a monster and I still have no idea where he went wrong. I mean Mustang was his twin sister, why did she end up being a decent human being and Adrius became such a horrible creature?! Something must have gone clearly wrong with him and I’m really glad his reign is over. I don’t think he deserved Mustang’s love and kindness in the end but she was his sister and you can’t escape or deny such a strong bond. May he rest in peace, and may he never return! Like never ever! Do you hear me, Pierce? No resurrection!! XD

”This is always how the story would end, Adrius,” I say down to him. “Not with your screams. Not with your rage. But with your silence.”

Ragnar Volarus:

”I fired a sarissa out the back of the cargo bay from a shoulder launcher.”
“You shot a missile at them while we were falling?” Mustang asks incredulously.
“Yes. And I attempted to gather gravBoots. I failed.”
“I think you did just fine,” Mustang says with a sudden laugh.

Ragnar! *sobs* I loved that gentle giant!!! PIERCE, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO KILL HIM TOO?! Ragnar was only introduced in the second book but he really grew on me and I loved his character. He was a man who had been born for war, yet all he sought was peace and quiet! I was so happy that he found his way and tried to save his people and I was devastated when his fierce and bright fire went out! His death on the ice was so unnecessary and I hate Aja for taking his life! Wherever he is, I hope he is happy now. RIP Ragnar Volarus!!! <333

”The Shield of Tinos,” he echoes, voice catching. “He loved the name.”
“I know.”
”I think he’d always thought himself a blade before he met us. We let him be what he wanted. A protector.”

Darrow’s & Sevro’s bromance:

”He never stopped looking for you,” Dancer explains. “I thought he was mad. He said you weren’t dead. That he could feel it. That he would know. I even asked him to give up the helm to someone else. He was too reckless searching for you.”

Because this is the best bromance I ever read about, it even gets an extra mention in my review!!! THOSE TWO ARE #FRIENDSHIP GOALS!!! Like seriously! I loved their brotherly friendship and tight bond and I was so glad they had each other. Whenever one of them was faltering, the other one was there to pick him up and boy, if that isn’t true friendship of the purest kind I really don’t know!!! They loved each other so deeply it was a pleasure to watch and except of in “The Raven Cycle” I never saw such an amazing portray of a friendship. (TRC boys are #FRIENDSHIP GOALS too, I guess we can all agree on that! *lol*) Still, to see Sevro crying broke my heart, it was necessary for the plot though. I just loved how Darrow and he worked out their problems and how they only got stronger after sorting things out! THAT WAS AWESOME!!! <333 Pierce you definitely get kudos for writing one of the best bromances in modern literature! ;-P Please, keep it up! XD

”I sit up, feeling ripped apart by the sight of him. I don’t hold him, but I put a hand on his head. And he surprises me by not flinching away, but instead crawling up to put his head on my knee. I put my other hand on his shoulder. In time the sobs slow and he blows the snot from his nose.”

”It’s moments like this that I know I’m not alone. Damn the world, so long as I have my mangy little guardian angel. If only I was so good at guarding him as he is at guarding me. Once again he’s done all I could ask and more.”

“Morning Star” was the perfect crescendo to an already amazing series! It was brilliant, it was haunting, it was intense and full of emotions. It kept me on my toes and never even gave me the slightest chance to catch my breath!

In short: It was ingenious and I couldn’t help but enjoy every infinitesimal moment of it!
Yes, it was THAT good! ;-P