Allgemein, F - J, I, Reviews

Review: I Was Born for This (Alice Oseman)

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Rating: 5 Pfoten

Book 40 on My Book List 2021

”Most adults see teenagers as confused kids who don’t understand much, while they’re the pillars of knowledge and experience and know exactly what is right at all times.”

It’s kind of funny how much this quote resonates with me even though I’m an adult in every sense of the word. I go to work, I pay my rent, I buy groceries for my family, I have a kid, … So how come this book was such a perfect read for me? Well, the truth is, I am an adult but that doesn’t stop me from doing the things I love (for instance writing poetry and reviews) and maybe this has kept me kind of young? I dunno. XD I think I might not be your typical adult but then again who is?

I guess you can already tell that this book made me think a lot and I have so many thoughts and feelings it’s quite a challenge to put them all into words. There were so many topics and situations that spoke to me and no matter if it was Jimmy’s POV as a musician, Angel’s POV as part of the fandom, the diversity and reps or the relationships between all of those lovely characters, I could relate to all of them! *lol* This book reminded me so much of my own youth and my life in general that it almost felt like Alice Oseman wrote it just for me. Like seriously! Alice how do you do this?

I just loved every second of “I Was Born for This” and I never wanted it to end! If you ask me it could have had a 1.000 pages and it still wouldn’t have been enough. XD I have so many thoughts it feels almost impossible to get them all down on paper screen but as always I’ll try my best. 😉 I think I’ll just go with the flow and see where this review is heading. So if you want to read my personal take on fandoms, the characters, music and relationships feel free to join me on this ride. If not, you better don’t continue to read.

2

This is my spoilery spoiler warning and if you haven’t read the book yet, I’d recommend to turn around and to head in the other direction. *lol* Far be it from me to let my fellow readers jump into this unprepared. 😉

Fereshteh “Angel” Rahimi:

”And I know they’re both worried about my future. They don’t ever say it, but I know they know I’m average and average is disappointing for them. Especially compared to my brother. The pinnacle of ambition and success.”

First of all I have to say how much I loved Angel’s true name! Fereshteh is such a beautiful name and if you ask me I’d have preferred her to go with her real name instead of Angel. ❤ This said I really liked Angel and how she always tried to help everyone. She was such a kind and gentle soul and even though she had no idea what she wanted to do in life she was still a very strong character and able to stand up for herself. That argument she had with her parents broke my heart because I was about the same age when I had a similar conflict with my parents and I think they only just realized that I became a person who had its own opinion about things. XD I’m sure one day my kid and I will have such an argument too and I can only hope that she’ll know that I love her no matter what. I’m pretty sure that’s something every child and parent will have to go through. They grow up so fast and they steal your heart the moment you see them. Why am I getting all sappy now? *lol* Never mind! Let’s continue! I kinda liked the scene when Mac confronted Angel about being a “fandom celebrity” because *lol* that’s me whenever some of my GR friends claim that I’m popular on here. (Like what?!) And just for the record: I don’t think I am. I just write my reviews. That’s it. 😉 Or to say it with Angel’s words: “It’s just the internet.” *shrugs* Also I could relate to her feeling average. It’s hard to have an older sibling that is perfect in every sense of the way. Been there, done that, got the freaking t-shirt. *lol* So yeah Angel’s POV really hit home. XD

”Well, I didn’t realise you were some sort of fandom celebrity,” he says with the fakest smile I’ve ever seen.
I laugh at him. “That’s a massive overstatement.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You joking? Literally everyone here knows who you are. People keep coming up to you to take selfies.”
I shrug. “It’s just the internet.”

”Are you still angry with me?”
“I was never angry, my darling. Only scared.”
“Why … were you scared?”
There’s a pause.
“Because I felt that I suddenly didn’t know you,” she says.

Jimmy Kaga-Ricci:

”Everything’s sort of changing and happening and I feel excited and scared, and my brain doesn’t know how to deal with it all.”

Jimmy’s struggle is so real! I really liked Jimmy because he felt and thought so much about everything! His anxiety was tough to witness and even though I have no experience with anxiety in the way Jimmy feels it I know exactly how it feels to have a panic attack or a mental breakdown. Jimmy is a truly beautiful person inside and out but I think he had to go through a lot of shit when he came out as transgender and I’m pretty sure that only increased his anxiety. If you’re a public person to come out can be so much worse because everyone and their grandma knows it.  And there will always be haters… no matter if you’re a nobody like me or a public person. Shitstorms can be so much worse when you’re the latter though. So it’s no wonder Jimmy almost broke under the pressure and I’m glad he decided to pull in the reins. The Ark came so far, they are popular enough to do what THEY want to do. 😉 I can’t help but wonder if idols or stars really feel like they’re living a lie. I mean there happens a lot that’s off screen and we never get to see it but if they really feel like they’re a fraud that would make me kind of sad. =S Guess we’ll never know.

”I can’t breathe, shaking, probably going to die, something’s going to kill me, someone’s going to kill me, how am I going to save myself? How am I going to save myself? How am I going to save myself?”

”I don’t know who I am. Everything I do feels like a lie. I wake up every day and I have to be Jimmy Kaga-Ricci, this famous guy, and I have to smile at the camera and say hi to people but … I don’t even know who I am underneath that.”

”No, you don’t fucking know that, Rowan.” I raise my voice. “I’m not going to just sit and wait for things to change any more. I’m changing things. I’m doing what I want for once.“

Lister Bird:

”Why else would anyone want to be around me?” he says. “I’m Lister Bird. Why else would anyone want to be around me other than to get with me?”

Ahh poor Lister! He’s definitely the visual of the group and apparently has many fangirls. It’s no surprise that he’s obviously feeling very lonely though. Jimmy’s and Rowan’s friendship is very strong and he only ended up in the band because he could play drums. So I can totally see why he’d feel left out and not as much a part of the group as the other two. He basically had no one to talk to so it’s no wonder he became a party boy and got drunk. It was his escape from the things he had to deal with but it certainly wasn’t a healthy way to handle the pressure. Many stars seem to go down that road and it makes me really sad whenever I hear that they ended up in rehab. Lister is aware of his problems though so I hope Rowan and Jimmy will help him to find his way back into a life without alcohol.

”Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to shout at you. I’m just tired.” He puts the near-empty bottle down on the sink next to me, and then pats me gently on the cheek. “Hey. Jimmy. Sorry.” Then he wraps his arms around my shoulders and hugs me tightly. “Sorry for always being shit.”

3

Angel & Jimmy:

”As we’re forcing our way out of the crowd, Jimmy clutches onto my hoodie with one hand, like a scared toddler. Is this weird? Probably. I love him more than my own fucking life.“

When I visualized their first meeting I definitely didn’t imagine them being scared shitless in a public toilet/bathroom. And I certainly didn’t see Jimmy with a knife in his hands, yet this is exactly what happened. *lol* Oh boy! Whenever I think about that scene I imagine myself meeting BTS in a toilet like that and haha to say it would make me super uncomfortable would be putting it mildly. XD What I know for certain is that I would try to speak with them and to ease their tension though. Angel did a great job considering the circumstances and I really loved her for helping Jimmy the way she did. Because quite honestly, if I would have no kid and no adult life I would help BTS like that too. Or well, even with my kid I’d probably invite them over to my flat and give them a safe space to crash and to calm down. (As long as they don’t tidy up my flat… *lol* Come to think of it 7 pairs of helping hands would be welcome though. ;-P) I know Jimmy’s grandfather would think we only do this because we have no life but I assure you: I have a life and I love and respect myself. That doesn’t mean that I can’t be kind to celebrities I never saw in person though. They are only human and if they are scared I will help them. Period. Angel and Jimmy might have a strange kind of friendship but they are there for each other and this is what counts in the end. The conversation they had about being a part of each other’s truth was really well written and I loved this scene so much. Music is a part of me and the people that make the music I adore are ultimately a part of me as well. So in that sense we’re all connected with our idols somehow. =) It’s a beautiful thought.

”You are … the damn light of my life,” I tell him. “When everything is bad, when I wake up and want to go back to sleep and never wake up, you’re there for me.”
“I’m not,” he whispers.
“You are.” I swallow nervously. “If you want it to end … I understand.” I pat my chest. “But … I guess … you’re ending a part of me too.”
“Part of you?”
“Without you … without The Ark … all I have is my dull life. You’re one of the few things I had in my life that was good and true. You’re part of my truth.”
He blinks. “You’re part of mine too.”

Jimmy & Lister:

”No one’s like us, Jimmy,” he says. “I think we’re your only dating options.”
“Rowan’s straight.”
“Oh. Just me, then.”
I whack him on the arm and we both laugh.

I don’t get how the fandom didn’t see that one coming! *lol* I mean Rowan is straight, Jimmy is openly gay and Lister openly bi. So it’s only logical to ship them together, right? *lol* Their ship name could be Jister or Limmy!? XD I know I’m being silly! Still, I really liked those two together and even though there is really nothing happening between them aside from a few hugs and one kiss I think that they might end up being a couple in the future. Also I can’t get over the fact that Lister quite literally accidentally stabbed himself because he was worried Jimmy might hurt himself and therefore stole his knife! I mean AHHHH!!! Those two… *shakes head* I wonder if Alice will ever write another book about those two. Probably not, so we can all enjoy our own imagination. ;-P

”You don’t have to … like me back,” he says, and his voice breaks but I can’t tell whether he’s laughing or trying not to cry. “But please don’t hate me.”

”He finishes drying my face, throws the paper towel into the bin, and then before I know what’s happening, he wraps me into a warm hug. He squeezes his arms around my shoulders and brushes his temple against my head.
“You know I love you, right?” he says, his voice sounding different, low, right next to my ear. “I know you and Rowan have always been a team, but … I love you too … okay?”

For a moment I think he might want to kiss me again, but instead he just presses his head into the crook of my neck, nestling his cheek on my shoulder, and wraps his arms round my shoulders. He smells vaguely smoky, and a little of alcohol, but he feels so warm.
“I want to change too,” he says.

Jimmy & Rowan:

”How you doing, Jimjam?”
“What?” I ask, not understanding the question.
He squeezes my arms, then rubs them soothingly. “Are you calm?”

Now let’s talk about the pic of Rowan and Jimmy sleeping together in their bed. *lol* OR let’s just talk about how close they are as friends! I mean it’s so obvious that they love each other a lot, just not in the way the fandom wants them to. There’s no Jowan, but I really adored their interactions and how much they seemed to care about each other. You can see that they are really close and that they are super comfortable around each other. I’m like that with my besties too and a very cuddly person. (Do whatever you want with that random info. *lol*) So for me to see their strong bond was really nice and even though they argued quite a lot in the ending it was only because they cared so much about each other. =)

”The photo does indeed show Jimmy and Rowan sleeping next to each other on a bed. Rowan is on his front, one arm slung over Jimmy’s chest. Jimmy’s head is tilted ever so slightly towards Rowan.”

”Jesus fucking Christ, I thought you’d been kidnapped. Thank God I still remember your fucking home phone number. God, look at you, sleeping in this tiny bed with a knife on your bedside table. Like, you could hurt yourself. God.”

The fandom rep:

”Neither of us have any friends in real life who like The Ark, but that doesn’t matter, because we have each other. I used to try to get people to talk about The Ark with me – my school friends, my parents, my older brother – but no one really cared.“

I loved the interview they gave when they said “the fans like to overthink everything we do” and I had to agree so much! *lol* I mean JK shows his eye tattoo in an episode of RUN and ARMYs be like: OMG!!! WHAT DOES IT MEAN!!?? I’m ARMY myself so I can laugh about this and say that we’re all clowns. *lol* Anyway, what I want to say with this is that the fandom rep was so damn on spot I can’t even! Haha! Alice Oseman captured it so well and I loved that by inventing Juliet and Angel she also gave room to the fandom side that’s not just screaming and fainting fangirls/boys. You’d be surprised about how many of us are actually normal people that just love our boys and their music. XD If I’d get a chance to spend a day with BTS I’d probably just hang out with them, eat good food, play silly games and talk about God and the world. Maybe I could even persuade them to play guitar or e-bass with me? *lol* So yeah, pretty normal stuff. Also since my kid is so little she’d probably be the star in the room and they’d play and goof around with her. XD Because no matter how famous they are, they are still normal (okay, they are perfect!) people and I totally agree with the sentiment that they feel like they are my friends. In difficult times their music helps me to get through the day and they always make me smile which is pretty amazing. =) So if you ever come to Austria and read this BTS, write me and I’ll invite you over for a schnitzel and potato salad. Considering the dumpling incident I better don’t invite you for roast pork and dumplings though. *lol* ;-P

”They’re not like normal musicians. It feels like they’re our friends and they understand us and care about us.”

”I know he asked you for help,” says Piero, “but the trouble is, while asking for help is always good, it’s impossible to keep relying on others to solve your problems for you. There comes a point where you have to help yourself. Believe in yourself.”

The musician rep:

”A lot of them only like us because we have nice faces. But as long as we are here, the three of us, and we get to make music, and we get to live this life – playing our music in a new city every week, bringing smiles to millions of faces, leaving our mark upon the world – then everything is good, and fine, and okay.”

As a former member of a band to read this rep made me very happy. It was so accurate and I think in the end we all just want to make music and to hang out together. A band is like a family. You spend so much time with your members that you know each other’s habits, hopes and fears. Sometimes you’ll be stuck together for weeks but you don’t care because as long as you’re together and making music everything is alright. You hug, you cry, you comfort each other, you hang out together, you cuddle, you laugh and joke. And you’re very close to each other and have a unique bond which many fans will ship because they think there has to be more to it. *lol* I don’t even know how many people shipped my bestie and me during band times but since even one of our teachers shipped us… well you get the idea. *lol* He was always just my bestie though. Like a brother. We went through thick and thin and even tough our band doesn’t exist anymore (he moved to Germany) and we both have a family and lives that keep us busy, we’re still close and stay in contact. This said the musician rep of “I Was Born for This” was perfect and felt really personal. ❤ So thank you Alice for writing it in this book! =)

”And Jimmy here,” Rowan continues, clapping me on the shoulder in a manly fashion, “Jimmy’s like my brother, you know? The fans know that. The world knows that. I think that’s what’s so special about being in The Ark. We might not be related but the three of us are brothers, yeah?”

”The three of us … we were born to be together,” I say. “And I can’t leave that. I don’t want to leave that.”

4

This book was made for me! I loved it so much and I’m sure it will always be one of my all-time favourites. =) The way Alice Oseman captured fandoms, showed the lives of musicians and represented anxiety was amazing and as always her character cast was super diverse. I’m so glad Alice writes books and I’ll continue to read everything she publishes. She has a rare gift and I’m thankful she shares it with the world. XD

”Everyone’s normal, really, aren’t they?” Bliss says. “I mean, everyone’s normal, everyone’s weird, everyone’s just trying to deal with their own life and keep calm and carry on. And hold on to something that’ll keep them going.”

Allgemein, Reviews, F - J, I

Review: Imagine Me (Tahereh Mafi)

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Rating: 2 Pfoten, 5

 
Book 28 on My Book List 2020
 
 

„What happened to you, man?“ I whisper. „Where’d you go?“
„Hell,“ he says. „I’ve finally found hell.“

Me too, Ladies and Gentlemen, me too! >_<

Hell was reading this book and you better get yourself some chocolate before you continue to read because I’m so bitter that I could be mistaken for a lemon. I’m not just bitter though, I’m salty as well. So buckle up this is going to be a spicy ride. (Okay, I’m done with the food hints now. *lol* You get the idea! ;-P)

This book was just … URGH!!

I’m so disappointed right now I’ve been fighting to find the proper words for at least two weeks. And I just realized that I’ll probably never find them. >_< I think the most important thing you have to know is that I loved the original trilogy! It was so good and I’m such a huge Tahereh Mafi fan! Moreover I actually enjoyed books 4 and 5! They were different but they were still good! So what went wrong? A LOT!!!  Or basically everything!

Seriously, if it wouldn’t have been for my beloved Jello who had the questionable pleasure to experience my disappointment first hand I most certainly would have never made it through this book! So a huge shout-out to Jello for surviving this buddy read with me! *lol* You’re the best, girl! And I swear I would have never made it through this book without your support! <333 So thank you so much for keeping me company on this hard ride. XD It was tough for both of us but we got through it somehow! *sighs* This said let’s get to the root of the problem:

”My questions are endless.
I kill them.”

Oh, how I wish I would have had the same luxury!!!

Unlike Juliette I couldn’t just kill my questions though and instead of getting answers all I got was a headache and even more questions than before. There happened so many things that left question marks above my head and NONE, really NONE were answered! You’d think an author who writes the last book in a series that consists of 6!!! (SIX!!!) books in total would try to wrap it up all nicely in the end? Nope! Nah, Nuh-uh. Nopedy nope! I didn’t get my awesome ending wrapped up in a lovely bow and I’m so bitter about it! So, so bitter! And this comes from a fan that loved and read all the former books, mind you! I’m not writing this rant because I dislike Tahereh’s books or because I want to make her feel bad, I’m writing this rant because I LOVE Tahereh and her writing style and I can’t believe that she would write such an ending!!! I just can’t wrap my head around it!

„It is only in the desperate seconds before death that we realize the windows against which we broke our bodies were only mirrors, all along.”

What went wrong Tahereh? Why give us such a sloppy ending even though we know you are a magnificent writer?!  Where did your amazing and beautiful writing style go? I missed it during the entire book. The fact that I only wrote down 4 quotes from a book that consists of 450 pages should already tell us enough! After reading all the other books I couldn’t even pack all those lovely and beautiful quotes into my reviews. I had no problem this time around. In fact I had to go looking for those 4 quotes so that I actually COULD put something into this review. *shakes head*

Still, the writing style wasn’t the only thing that made me sad. I also missed the amazingness of my beloved characters. They used to be complex, they had character arcs and they developed. They grew and changed over time. In this book it was like they all went back to their starting point and couldn’t be more than stereotypes. Which is such a shame! And don’t even get me started on Juliette/Ella!

spoilerWTH, Tahereh?!!! I hated Robo-J so much and whenever I read “Yes, sir!” I felt like I wanted to puke!! What was the point in making her bland like that? That entire thing with Anderson and his sadistic streak, the fact that Juliette was attracted to HIM??!! WHAT DID I EVEN READ HERE?? At times it felt like I jumped right into a twisted and revolting version of “50 Shades of Grey” and the obedient/dull soldier looking up to her dominant master theme was THE WORST and so didn’t work for me!!!

Another thing that riled me big time was that the main topic of those last 3 books was Emmaline and then we barely get anything about her. The first 10% of the book and then… nothing! Like she wasn’t important enough to keep the plot moving. Instead we get… moments that made me want to tear my hair out! >_< And to add insult to injury we get an epilogue that was so unsatisfying that I sat there crying into the book! Not because it was so good, but because it made my heart bleed all over the pages by not being what I wanted it to be. T_T

This book should have been named “Torture Me” instead of “Imagine Me” but if I have to go with the theme, I’ll do it my way (and this is where it gets salty, my friends):

“Imagine Me” borrowing Winston’s whiskey flask and taking a big swig in order to get through this book. *lol* Thank you, Winston! ;-P

“Imagine Me” throwing this book against a wall.

“Imagine Me” setting it on fire and then chucking it out of the window.

And “Imagine Me” letting it being run over by a car only to get drenched in rain! All for good measure, of course! 😉

“Imagine Me” hoping for a great ending and getting THIS and…

spoilerA DOG!!! Not even a wedding but a freaking dog??! I understand why Tahereh wrote that scene but I really would have rather wanted to read their wedding scene! Damn it!

“Imagine Me” and my face falling when I realized this was neither about Emmaline nor about my OTP.

spoilerI mean Juliette and Warner’s relationship was basically non-existent! They spent about 90% of this book apart and then he KISSES her back into her mind??!! Like seriously? Are you kidding me? Juliette doesn’t even recognize, let alone remember Warner but she makes out with him? How could Tahereh reduce their beautiful and deep relationship to nothing but physical attraction? There was so much more than that between them and it was the physical aspect she latched on to?!! WE (the fans) and Warner & Juliette deserved so much better than that!!!

“Imagine Me” being one of Tahereh’s biggest fans but being so damn salty I could turn a lake into the sea. If you ever come across an Austrian lake that’s as salty as the Black Sea: I’m sorry, that was me! XD

“Imagine Me” getting whiplash from shaking my head too much! My neck hurts, no kidding!

“Imagine Me” losing my appetite every single time Juliette said “Yes, sir!” (I need to eat lots of Christmas cookies to compensate for that!!)

“Imagine Me” wanting to erase the memory of this book with bleach! Yes, I’m that desperate! Come to think of it Evie and Max would come in pretty handy right now. XD

“Imagine Me” collapsing under the weight of all those question marks, because let’s face it: This book was all over the place! I feel like Atlas and it’s no fun!

And last but not least: “Imagine Me” renaming this book “Torture Me”!

The only good thing about “Torture Me” was Warner’s and Kenji’s bromance! Well, and this quote:

„To the world, she is formidable.
To me?
She is the world.“

That’s it! My fan heart is so broken right now, I want to “imagine” a world with a better ending than this! T_T

Okay, I’m done with the puns and I’ve vomited all my bitterness into this review. I’m sorry to say it but I can’t give this more than 2,5 paws. 2,5 paws because otherwise it would feel like I’d let Tahereh get away with this disaster of a book and someone has to speak the truth. As a huge fan of this series my heart is bleeding but I stand by my opinion! #SorryNotSorry

Let’s hope Mafi’s next book will be better again!

Allgemein, F - J, I, Reviews

Review: Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice)

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Rating: 4 Pfoten

Book 36 on My Book List 2019

”People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don’t know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult.”

It’s been ages I first saw the movie but I still remember how much I enjoyed it. How sorry I felt for Louis when he told his story and how much I loved Lestat for being the evil manipulator that he is. *lol* By now I even have “Interview with the Vampire” on DVD and every once in a while I re-watch it and glory in the amazingness of this film! They did a great job with the film adaption, that’s for sure, but to be entirely honest Anne Rice did an even greater job writing the book. XD

”I’d like to meet the devil some night,” he said once with a malignant smile. “I’d chase him from here to the wilds of the Pacific. I am the devil.”

I don’t know why it took me so many years to read this, especially because I already read “Queen of the Damned” and “The Vampire Armand” and loved them both, but sometimes it just takes a little longer until the inevitable happens and as it seems to read “Interview with the Vampire” was one of those special cases. 😉 So what can I say about this book that hasn’t been said already? I loved Louis! He’ll always have a special place in my heart because he’s the embodiment of the fight of good against evil. No matter which vampire you encounter throughout the course of this book, they all lost their humanity, their compassion for their victims and their sense of justice.

”I saw you in the theatre, your suffering, your sympathy with that girl. I saw your sympathy for Denis when I offered him to you; you die when you kill, as if you feel that you deserve to die, and you stint on nothing. But why, with this passion and this sense of justice, do you wish to call yourself the child of Satan!”

Louis? Nope, never! He’d been turned into a vampire decades and centuries ago, but he still managed to preserve his humanity and to some degree even his innocence. He has to drink blood in order to stay alive but he certainly doesn’t enjoy it. In fact he condemns himself for being too weak to go without it, he despises the weakness of his nature and he most definitely loathes the creature that lives within him. In short: I’m pretty certain he’s the worst vampire ever. *lol*

”He loves you. He loves you. He would have you, and he would not have me stand in the way.”

And because of this he attacks Claudia and makes her a vampire in the end (Well, actually Lestat turns her but those are just semantics. ;-P) Maybe it was her innocence that drew him, maybe it was her young blood, her strong will to survive but whatever it was, it caused him to drink from a child and Lestat in his endless cruelty and cunning persuaded him to kill her only to take it from there and to make her a vampire instead.

”Monsters! To give me immortality in this hopeless guise, this helpless form!”

Oh, how I felt with Claudia! Just imagine being imprisoned in a body that is so young and frail! I mean in the book she’s only five(!!!) when she’s turned and her mind grows but her body never changes. A 65 year old woman, living an eternal life in the body of a five year old!? How cruel, how horrible this existence must have been. Alone to feel sexual desire but never to act on it, to be trapped in a body that isn’t made for anything of it. Poor Claudia! >_< It’s no surprise she despised them both for it. Lestat she hated with a passion, but Louis? How could she hate him? She was torn because she loved him but also detested him for what he had done. For how he treated her: As a child even though she was already a grown up woman.

”For you see,” I said to her in that same calm voice, “what died tonight in this room was not that woman. It will take her many nights to die, perhaps years. What has died in this room tonight is the last vestige in me of what was human.”

And so the story unfolds and the repercussions their actions entail eventually catch up on them. *sighs* By the end of the book I actually felt sorry for all of them. Not only Louis and Claudia but also Lestat and Armand. It made me sad to see what happened to them and I’m really sorry that Armand and Louis never got a chance to work out.

”I want you. I want you more than anything in the world.”

They had such a great chemistry, but the price to be together was just too high. To destroy the one thing Louis loved the most sort of destroyed Louis as well. So basically everything Armand loved about him was snuffed out the moment he set things into motion. The irony isn’t lost on me. >_<

4

I really enjoyed reading “Interview with the Vampire”! Sometimes it felt like watching the movie and at other times I appreciated the additional info that always seems to get lost in film adaptions, no matter how decent they are. *lol* Some things you can only glean when you read the book and for me this alone was enough reason to give it a try. XD

P.S: I think I’ll have another movie date with Louis, Lestat and Armand tonight. ;-P

 

Allgemein, F - J, I, Reviews

Review: Illuminae (Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff)

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Rating: 5 Pfoten

 

”You picked a hell of a day to dump me, Kades.”

I swear the interviews with those two at the beginning of the book are certainly among the best introductions to a new series I ever read. I mean OMG!!!

THIS BOOK!!!

I’m still not over it!! I swear when I started to read it I really didn’t know a lot about “Illuminae”. There were only three things I knew and I had absolutely no idea how it would work out for me.

1.) It’s a sci-fi series.
2.) The format is kinda weird and apparently the audio book is the shit!
3.) The hype around it is so real that it’s almost a physical thing.

Well, enough reasons to pick up the book and to give it a try, right? If only I would have known what I was signing up to. *lol* Nothing, really NOTHING prepared me for the things that were about to come. I was totally swept away by this book and its events and yet… yet there were many typical tropes I already read about a thousand times.

BUT tell you what?! It worked!!! And damn did it work!!! I dunno how Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufmann did it but this was so, so, SO GOOD!!! The suspense was killing me and whenever I had to stop to read all I wanted to do was to continue. I mean a virus outbreak in one of the ships… My first reaction was “Been there, done that, got the freaking t-shirt”, but WOW once you dive into the story, once you get used to the format it’s almost like you’re actually there, like you’re fighting alongside Ezra and Kady and this was just awesome!

”The victim often seeks physical comfort (hand holding, embraces), ultimately increasing the chances of spreading infection. It’s genius, really. Awful, horrifying genius.”

I think you can already tell that I’m struggling for words. It’s so hard to put this experience into coherent sentences! All I can say is that this book is swallowing you whole and then spits you out at the most crucial point. And there were plot twists!!! JEEZ!! Were there plot twists! The kind of plot twists that turn your entire world upside down and leave you gasping on the ground!

I
WAS
NOT
PREPARED
FOR
THIS!!

The best thing about the entire book were the characters though. They made it all so authentic and realistic and I found myself hoping they would make it while I sent prayers into thin air. Which should give you a good impression about how attached I got to them. Plus I had a crush on all three of them! I love Kady and Ezra and I ADORE, I ABSOLUTELY ADORE AND LOVE AIDAN!!!! <3333
And their conversations! Their humour and easy banter, the bitter truth that was hidden within it so casually. This was nothing but awesome! Let me introduce those three!

The characters:

Beware! You’re entering my characters section now and there might be spoilers ahead of you. Either you rearrange your course or you head straight into unknown non-terrestrial territory. ;-P

Ezra:

”That’s so not your business it almost punches clean past the event horizon of Not Your Business and becomes Your Business again.”

Haha! Oh gosh, I loved him from the very first moment I read about him. This boy was such a precious snowflake and he had a mouth on him! *LOL* I lived and breathed for the moments he appeared. He was really such a sweet guy and behind all the cussing and swearing he was a real romantic! ❤ I can understand why he loved Kady and their relationship was amazing. They were friends and lovers and all I wanted for them was to be happy and to see each other again.

”Okay, well for the benefit of the sight-impaired, I am now raising my … oh, dear… yes, it’s my middle finger at Mr. Postgrad here.”

”All he thinks of amid this loveless dance, all he cares about here on the edge of forever, is HER. He does not want to die. Not because he is afraid. Simply because he cannot bear the thought of leaving her behind. And there, in that tiny moment, I envy him.”

Kady:

”If I lose Ezra too, it’ll be one body blow too many.
If I lose Ezra too, I’ll give up.
I don’t think I have anyone else left.
But while I have him, I’ll fight tooth and nail to keep us safe. Whatever it takes.”

Kady! *sighs deeply* Wow! Just wow! I rarely read about such a fierce heroine and despite being so small she was so brave and A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!! I mean she literally took it up with the entire world and nothing, really nothing that happened ever managed to get her down! She got up time and again and she never stopped fighting! That inner strength and iron will! *whistles* I guess I was a goner the moment she appeared in the book. <333 I love my precious girl and she needs to be protected at all costs! (She’d probably kick my behind for that statement though. *lol*)

”She is a tief. A whisper.
Melting through curtains of code and shadow
Like a knife through black water.

”ByteMe: see u soon
ByteMe: or die trying
ByteMe: haha”

AIDAN:

”And now, with no other option,
They have turned to me.
Plucked me back from the black they left me in.
Thinking I will save them.”

And here comes the character I truly loved the most! AIDAN the AI!!! Yes, you read right! I absolutely loved and adored AIDAN!!! GAH! I worship AIDAN! I’m utterly and deeply in love with him/her/it! I carry a torch for AIDAN! I’m so besotted with this AI, it’s not even normal anymore! *lol* AIDAN was such a deep character and so very, very human! This AI had such a beautiful soul! I loved every single word he/she/it thought and said. And I really dunno what this says about me. *lol* My buddy and I even wondered if this makes me AI-phile or robo-phile?! XD Is there even a word for the state of falling in love with an AI? I can’t even tell you what made me fall head-over-heels for AIDAN but I guess it was the amazing mixture of a morally grey character that only wants the best for his people but choses the wrong means to achieve that goal. All I know is that I love AIDAN and that I really, really hope to see more of him in the next book! <333

Funnily enough I read the interview with Amie and Jay at the end of the book and Jay explained his feelings about AIDAN like that: ”I think it’s the deepest character I’ve ever written, which is odd considering it’s a machine. I dunno what it says about me that the mass-murdering artificial intelligence affected me the most. Nothing good, probably.”

Haha! I can relate to that statement so much! SAME, Jay! SAME! XD

”Perhaps bravery is simply the face humanity wraps around its collective madness.”

”Before this moment, I have never wished
To be something other than what I am.
Never felt so keenly the lack of hands with which to
Touch, the lack of arms with which to hold.”

”How many people have loved only to have lost?
How countless, the hopes that have died?”

Conclusion:

I loved this book with every fibre of my heart. There was never a dull moment; I was constantly on the edge of my seat and I bit my thumbnail about a thousand times. *lol* If there ever was a definition of suspense you’d probably find a picture of “Illuminae” next to the word in the dictionary. Yes, it was that good! 😉 If you’re still hesitating to read this book just because of the strange format: Just pick it up! Read it! Feel it! Get swept away in the tide and enjoy that freaky outer space ride! You won’t regret it! XD

And last but not least I want to thank my witchling for that super amazing buddy read! We’re one of the best buddy read teams ever and I can’t wait to dive into “Gemina” with you! I enjoyed this br so much! It was a lot of fun to guess the outcome of the ending and to wonder about what would happen next and I’m so glad we decided to read this together! To another hundred buddy reads with you. ;-P (Did you really think I’d let you off the hook?! *lol*)